I'm Lovin' It: Food Edition

When I first came up with this post idea, I had great plans of including all kinds of things I'm totally loving right now.  Then I realized that everything I was coming up with was . . . food.  Show of hands on who's surprised!  Bueller . . . Bueller?  Yeah, thought so.

Anyway.  Food edition of things I just cannot get enough of right now.

1) Roasted Zucchini - Mannnnn.  Y'all. Why did I wait so long to realize what an AMAZING vegetable zucchini is?  It is DELICIOUS and it is versatile!  I've fixed it all kinds of different ways but my favorite, my old standby, is to roast it with garlic.  Hello, delicious!  I seriously eat roasted zukes at least once a day.  Sometimes more. 

2) Twice Baked Cauliflower - So, zucchini is an amazing vegetable.  Cauliflower is not.  I mean, I love that you can blend it with potatoes and get more veggie bang for your buck.  But it generally doesn't taste that good.  Exception: twice baked cauliflower!  It's a lot like twice baked potatoes without all the carbs.  Love this stuff!  (This is a good recipe though I don't use the cream cheese).

This is my dinner last night -- twice baked cauliflower, mini crescent roll, green beans, roasted zucchini, and "Rendezvous style" turkey sausage with cheese.  Notice that 3/4 of that plate is VEGETABLES?  Proud of myself!  Maybe I should be embarrassed for being proud of myself for being 32 years old and finally coming arond to vegetables but whatever.

3) Mio Energy Green Thunder flavor - So, I'm really weird.  Anything "energy" makes me really jittery.  Like, the Crystal Light on the go packs that are "energy?"  Yeah, I love the wild strawberry flavor.  Makes me soooo jittery.  I picked up this Mio (I love Mio!) because the commissary had it on sale for just $1.44 a bottle.  I tried it and guess what?  No jitters!  None!  The taste is kind of . . . not bad, but I'm not sure how to describe it either.  I usually chug a bottle of it in the morning.

Okay, seriously, with all this "health" food.  Let's shift gears.

4) Jalapeno flavored Pringles - I go through "phases" with my chips.  A few months ago it was the Lays Stax Adobadas flavor.  I used to be all about the jalapeno Cheetos.  And, once upon a time, it was the Pringles Mexican Layered Dip.  But now I'm loving these jalapeno flavored Pringles.  They are SO good.  And there is pretty much always a can in my pantry!

(By the way -- on the "jalapeno" flavor and chips subject -- jalapeno potato Pop Chips are DISGUSTING.  Ugh.  No.  No, no, no, no, no).

5) Subway - Actually, a particular Subway sandwich -- the roasted chicken, toasted please, with pepper jack cheese, jalapenos, Ranch dressing, and the southwest chipolte sauce.  Best thing about this is that it's a $6 footlong which means for pretty cheap I can have lunch for TWO days!

6) Cupcakes - Nothing new here.  I've always loved me some cupcakes but, lately, those little morsels of delicious have been finding their way in my bell-ah more and more often.  I recently discovered that Swagbucks has a BOGO deal with my local Gigi's so you best be believing we've been cashing in Swagbucks for a free cupcake!



I canNOT wait to get to New York and try some Crumbs for the first time!

7) Barefoot Pink Moscato - Look, I've never shied away from being exactly how I am: a cheap bitch.  I love me some Barefoot wine.  Let's be real: I love any wine that's cheap, tastes decent, and gives me a buzz.  The pink Moscato is my current favorite.  The fact that, using my military discount, I can get an entire (big) bottle for just under $12 gives me all kinds of happy.  Glorious, glorious, wine lush type of happy.

It Happened This Week

MAJOR NEWS, Y'ALL.

I willingly ate a SALAD the other night.  I KNOW!  I can't believe it either.  Thing is -- I went to dinner with a group of people I don't really know all that well yet.  The entree I ordered came with a side salad and rather than refusing it, I decided to be a big girl.  Because, yeah, every once in a while I do care what other people might think.  Plus, I figured it would somehow balance out the garlic mashed potatoes I'd be inhaling.  And, yes, I DID just write an entire paragraph about salad.  Somebody buy this girl a bottle box of wine beause if this is what now calls for a blog post then . . . well . . . I don't even know.

I'm two weeks behind on P365 pictures so herrrrre we go:

 

 

 

** I'm not posting the picture from 1/16.  It's from Jaidan's honors ceremony and has a bunch of his little classmates in it **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday Things

1) SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR.

NKOTB plus Boyz II Men (!!!!!!) plus 98 Degrees?  In concert?  TOGETHER?  Yes please and thank you very much. 

I'm already planning to make my way to Chicago for the concert there.  I've informed my girl MoMo that she's going with me and we WILL be wearing NKOTB t-shirts.  Say it with me now: "Squeeeee!"

2) So, let's talk about my daughter and the fact that she has, as of late, become infatuated with horses.  That's all good and stuff, I guess, but she leaves off the last few letters of the word when she talks about horses.  Meaning, she talks about "whores."  "My whore jammies!' "I see a whore!" And, yes, she even climbs on my back and yells, "Giddy-up, whore!"  Fun times, y'all.  Fun. Times.

3) Tuesday night's season finale of Parenthood.  Let's discuss.  First off, Lauren Graham is one of the most amazing actors of a generation.  Loved her as Lorelai Gilmore and possibly love her even more as Sarah Braverman.  She is just so REAL and totally becomes her character.  Love her.

Now.  I absolutely love Parenthood but I was a little disappointed in Tuesday night's show.  P'hood is not ever known for a nice wrap up.  They don't just make it all work out at the end of the hour long show.  But this time . . . for the most part, everything just wrapped up nicely.  And THAT makes me worry that they won't be bringing it back next season.

And that?  Y'all.  I don't even want to THINK about it.  At least when they took Friends off the air we knew it was the last episode and we were able to have parties with Friends trivia and shots of vodka to numb the pain a little bit.  I said a little bit.

4) Sometimes . . . occasionally . . . my commitment to my DVR becomes a little overwhelming.  I mean, here it is already Thursday again and I still haven't watched last week's Parks and Rec OR The Office.  And I still have to find time to watch the latest episode of Girls.  Yeah, totally realize that's only three shows.  Ignore me.

5) Kyan and Karis absolutely LOVE the movie Madagascar 3 and want to watch it every single time we get in the car.  Never mind if we're just running up the road!  Gotta watch "Gas Car!"  Thing is, neither of them will wear headphones.  Which means I've heard Madagascar 3 roughly 29034290 times but never actually watched the entire thing.  I can quote it word for word.  And I've decided that Alex (Ben Stiller) has a sexy voice.  Also? "Bring me your huddled masses, baby!" "Only penguins and people can drive!" "Bolshevic!" "I'm like a candy cane in a black and white movie!"  I'll stop now.

6) Eddie likes to rent cars when we go out of town.  A little bit because he just likes to rent cars and also because our vehicles have mileage warranties on them.  He rented me a brand spankin' new Chrysler 300 to take to Arkansas last weekend.  And now?  I WANT.  I never would've looked twice at that car but, ahhhh, the features.  A heated steering wheel!  Cup holders that'll either heat or cool, whichever you prefer.  Yeah.  Again - WANT.

7) We filed our taxes yesterday.  That, my friends, is just exactly how exciting life gets 'round these parts in January.

8) The school system Jaidan goes to (and where Kyan will go next year!) released their proposed caendar for next school year.  The kids will start the first of August and go until right before Memorial Day.  I'm not happy with this.  I'd rather them start mid-August and go to the very end of May -- and maybe not have so many days off during the actual school year (i.e. they don't need a full week for Fall Break -- HELLO!  Fall Break didn't even exsist when I was a kid -- and do they really need off for President's Day and Veteran's Day?  And, here's an idea!  Maybe they should make Spring Break fall the same week as Easter so they already have Good Friday off).  I'm just saying.  The school really should consult ME about things like this.  Right?  Right.

9) How my marriage works:
Him: "You know how you're leaving for New York on our anniversary?"
Me; "Yeah."
Him: "NBA All Star game is the weekend after Valentine's Day.  It would make a lot more sense if I left on Thursday . . . which is Valentine's Day . . . "
Me: "Let's celebrate on Wednesday."
Him: "Deal!"
Works.

10) That's right:

What Instagram and My Phone Say We've Been up to Lately

So I've really been phoning it in on this blog thing lately and guess what?  Today doesn't get any better!  One of these days the weather will warm up, my mojo will come back, and I'll feel like doing a little more than just laying around eating chocolate chip cookie dough and crying over the fact that this season of Parenthood is over.  In the meantime, a look at what Instagram and my phone say we've been up to lately.

Jaidan's behavior chart at school.  Not only was he forging my initials when he DID GOOD but, man, did he nail it or what?  I still have so much to teach that boy . . .

 

Horrible, awful, no good, very bad horse faced picture of Yours Truly but who can resist a toddler throwing up gang signs?  

 

The kiddos and I went to Arkansas for the long weekend.  Pawpaw's birthday was Friday so Saturday morning, I had to go by and wish him a happy (belated) birthday. 

If you happen to know my Pawpaw, then you know this stone is so absolutely perfect for him.  At the risk of sounding a little weird -- it makes me happy.  Even though he is gone and we miss him, it's nice (I guess?) that we have such a "Pawpaw" marker for him.

 

Mawmaw put the brats to work!

 

I TOLD Eddie I wanted to get her a dollhouse for Christmas!

 

We met up with a couple of my high school besties while we were in town.  Shanna and me with our mini's!

Between the three of us we have two six-year-olds, three four-year-olds, one two-year-old, and a newborn!

 

This little gem is hanging in one of the guest rooms of my grandmother's house.

It was the 80's.  'Nuff said.

 

These cookies remind me SO MUCH of high school.  It seems like every teacher I had bought Ed's Bakery smiley face cookies for a treat from time to time.  I had to pick some up while I was in town.  And was . . . so disappointed!  They tasted like they'd been in the case since 1996!

 

Stopped at Burger King on the way  home and Karis crowned Kikey a princess.

She has also taken to telling them they're "quibby" which is Karis speak for pretty.  The other day Jaidan told me I needed to start telling Kare Bear she's "handsome" so she'll quit referring to him as quibby . . .

 

I forgot my sunglasses yesterday morning and had to run back in the house to get them.  When I came back out . . . this.  Sigh.

 

Jaidan "bear-walked" arond the entire gym during PE yesterday.  Apparently, this is a pretty big deal -- something that even some fifth graders aren't able to do.  The PE coaches, his class, and his teacher were all really proud of him.  His teacher sent home this note.  Jaidan was SO PROUD of himself.  I was pretty proud of the little guy too!

 

Thursday Things

1) Five Guys Burgers.

We went there on a trip to Savannah back in 2011.  I was sick, though, and could not taste so much as a single bite of the burger I ordered.  My family, the assholes, mmmm'd and ahhhh'd and pretty much went all about their business of letting me know that the burgers were amazing.  We had one open in town several months ago and I wanted to check it out but HOLY LINES, BATMAN. 

I fnally went last week.  It's now my new favorite chain burger place. Thank you, Five Guys, for coming to Memphis!

2) We had a "winter weather event" in the mid-south the beginning of the week.  Basically that means one thing: ice.  Did you know, in this part of the country, they release schools when there's a winter storm warning?  As in, nothing has to actually fall from the sky before they release them?  Yeah, both Jaidan and Z had an early release on Tuesday -- and we were informed of the release before there was even any precip at all.  Fun stuff.  We ended up with some freezing rain and slick roads and, OMG, is it summer yet?

Anyhow, someone posted this on Facebook and, yeah, SO TRUE.

3) I'm kind of in love with the ibotta app.  You've probably already heard of it -- it's been all over the couponing blogs for a few weeks now.  Basically, it has different stuff for you to check out on the app -- read some trivia or a recipe, share on Facebook, etc -- each thing earns you a little bit of money (think a quarter) but it adds up.  After you go shopping, you send a picture of your receipt and you get the money for anything you bought that you browsed through on the ibotta app.  It's pretty cool.  I made about $4 yesterday just getting stuff I'd normally buy.  (Note: if you sign up through the link in this paragraph then I think I get, like, $1 the first time you use the app).

4) My little '06 Asshole received - for the second quarter in a row! - an award for excellent conduct.  I'm still trying to figure out how this kid can have absolutely perfect behavior at school and come home a full blow asshole.  At least he's good at school.  The kindergarten teachers already smile fondly at Kyan and I can only imagine them thinking they wouldn't mind having him in their class next year.  Keep on thinkin' that, kindergarten teachers.  Keep on thinkin' that.

Anyway, J and I went to Pizza Hut after school yesterday to celebrate his accomplishment.  I am super proud of this goofy kid.

5) A week, maybe two, ago I said something about NBC finally realizing that we the people love Parenthood and want more of us and were giving us what we want.  Yeah.  About that.  The season finale is next week.  Next week!  January!  F word, f word, f word!

6) I'm trying very hard to keep up with the random acts of kindness the kids and I were doing over the holidays, inspired by the #26acts campaign.  One thing that I've discovered is there are little acts of kindness that we probably never thought of before.  For instance: school drop off.  It can be a NIGHTMARE.  There is a steady stream of traffic and hard for anyone who parks in front of the school to get out.  I've made it a point to allow one or two people to get out.  It doesn't take much of anything away from me and I KNOW it's a relief to the person I'm showing that little RAK to.

7) I totally have a girl crush on Lena Dunham.  Girl crushing on her now (when everyone else is girl crushing on her) goes against everything I believe in.  But I can't help it.  She's edgy.  She pushes the envelope.  And girlfriend does not care that her body goes against everything Hollywood stands for. You go, Lena.

8) Words of the week are conspiracy and theory.  One of them (you can probably guess which one!) makes me want to punch baby bunnies every.single.time I see it posted on Facebook with an "OMG!"  The other one, the theory that Manti Te'o completely fabricated the story of his grandmother and girlfriend dying within hours of each other -- well, all I know is I love a good conspiracy theory when it leaves me unsure of whether to make a joke about Mormons or Notre Dame.  I have friends who are Mormon, though, so I'll go with the *insert your Notre Dame joke here* instead.  Really, though, Te'o?  REALLY?  Come on, dude.  I'll give you this much -- there's no telling how many people got wasted taking a shot every time your little story was mentioned during a Notre Dame game. 

9) Kyan, Karis, and I went to play at McDonald's yesterday morning.  Well, Kyan played.  Regina George refuses to deign herself to play with the commoners.  Instead, she commandeered my iPad.  I looked over and saw this:



SHE WAS ON PINTEREST!

If that doesn't say "she's my girl" then I don't know what does.

10) I usually like to add something funny ha ha at the end of my Thursday list but today I'm loving this:

I Heart Logan Bruno

If you were a book nerd in the 80's or 90's then odds are good that you, like me, grew up on The Baby-sitters Club.  Odds are also pretty good that you're wondering if Ann M. Martin is going to pull a Francine Pascal on us and bring back Kristy and the crew in a series that follows them as, you know, grown ups and stuff.  (By the way, when the series started in 1986, the main four were all 12 years old which means they'd be approaching 40 now!  Wowza!)  Martin seemed to like the stereotypes so we already know that Kristy would be the lesbian softball coach and Claudia would be off in Paris painting while Stacey McGill, everyone's favorite, would be a fashion designer.  Dawn would be a surfing instructor, Mallory a librarian, and Jessi, of course, a ballerina.  Mary Anne would throw us all for a loop and be, like, a dominatrix or something.

Ahh, good old Mary Anne Spier.  She was the shy, mousy girl who wore pigtails until well into seventh grade, had a cat named Tigger, and totally swooned over Logan Bruno and his Louisville accent.  She was often described as having a "crush" on New York City.  No girl in the 80's or 90's would ever claim to be a "Mary Anne."  I guess it would be kind of like admitting you were a "Charlotte" amongst the Sex and the City characters.  Everyone wanted to be a Stacey or a Claudia, maybe a Dawn.  But a Mary Anne?  Timid with no fashion sense?  No thank you very much. 

But the whole crush on New York City thing?  I feel ya, sistah!

I'm not going to go as far as to say I have a crush on NYC.   I've never been.

But, man, I've always wanted to go.  I mean, it's a helluva town . . . the Bronx is up but the Battery's down . . .

Seriously, though.  Times Square and Broadway, the Yankees, the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building and the Top of the Rock and all the neighborhoods and restaurants!  It's easy to see how Mary Anne Spier could have a crush on something so big and so (seemingly) awesome.

And guess what?



I'll be able to check it out for myself in March!  I bought my ticket yesterday!

Pardon me for a moment.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.  There.  Feel better.

Since New Orleans priced itself out for almost anyone who would have to fly in, my girls and I decided to move our springtime trip [much] further north.  So, in late March -- these vagabond shoes that have been longing to stray?  They'll stray all the way to NYC.  For the first time ever!  I'm actually flying to my friend Dahlia in Connecticut since flying directly into NYC would've cost me my children's college funds.  I CAN'T WAIT.  One more time: I CAN'T WAIT!

There will be Times Square.  There will be all the sites.  There will be cupcakes from Crumbs and hotdogs from a street vendor and as much yummy food as I can find.  There will be my favorite girls and there's a good chance there will be large amounts of vodka. 

Watch out, New York City!  You're about to get a Whore Invasion!

You are Gonna Want to Pin the Hell Out of this Shit Because it's theGreatest Cleaning Secret EVER

{Source}

I'm hoping you can all forgive me for posting a cleaning tip. Actually I'm pretty sure you will when you realize just how brilliant this is.

Let me tell you what happened.

The other day, the boys decided they wanted to "clean."  By all means, be my guest!  I gave them a couple of rags and sprayed some cleaner on them (I prefer the Clorox green stuff.  It smells good and it makes me feel better about using disposable water bottles and the occasional paper plate).  I let the boys go to town.  They swiped the rags over the kitchen floor and any counter tops and surfaces they could reach.

I did not clean a damn thing.  Okay?

When Eddie came home from work that night he told me, "house looks great!" 

Seriously?  I'm judging myself for not scheming this up sooner.  I didn't have to scrub toilets or mop floors and the house looked great?

So here's your cleaning tip:  Get yourself some cleaning spray, a few rags, and a couple of kids (I have a few you can borrow.  FOR FREE).  Saturate those rags with cleaning spray and throw them at the kids.  Then let them get to "cleaning."  It doesn't really matter what surfaces they're scrubbing. You're going after that good clean smell anyway.

Meanwhile, you can sit back and enjoy a cocktail and a Roseanne marathon.

Genius, I tell ya.  GENIUS.

It Happened This Week

Am I the only one who feels like January is dragging by soooo slooooowly?  October, November, December all went by super fast and now it's ONLY January 13th and, ohmygawww, can it please just be April or May already? 

So, last night at 8:30 it was still 73 degrees outside.  A couple hours later I was outside in short sleeves and not even the least bit cold.  It was downright pleasant for January.  This morning I went to hunt for my newspaper (that's NOT in my yard.  What the hell, man?  The only reason I get the thing delivered is for Sunday morning coupons.  If I was brave enough/ amoral enough I would consider going to "borrow" from my neighbors because, yeah, THEY got THEIRS) and realized the temperature has dropped by at least 35 degrees.  Not only that, but I checked the app on my phone and that temperature is just supposed to keep on dropping all day long.  January is such a sneaky bastard.  "Ohhhh, I'll give them a couple days of spring-like weather then as soon as they pull out their flip flops and decide to throw steaks on the grill, it'll be back to bone chilling."  And that concludes the meterology portion of this post.

In other news, Eddie and I had a Date Night last night and it was only January 12.  Odds are good we won't get another one till July so we made sure it was an extra special date.  And by "extra special date" I mean after we ate dinner at Rendezvous we went to Walmart.  I KNOW!  Please young singles with no children -- please be SO JEALOUS of the wild life I lead.

A look at our week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All right, folks, if you're Sunday is looking to be anything like mine there's a good chance the dreary rain and return of cold temperatures has you debating whether to build an ark or wash away your Seasonal Affective Disorder with a glass or five of Pinot Grigio.  Choose wisely, my friends.  Choose wisely.



Okay, Men, Divert Your Eyes. I'm Going to Talk about Girl Stuff. Like Tubal Ligations and Periods.

I have serious doubts that anyone with a penis actually reads this blog but a disclaimer is always nice, right?  Good.  Cause here's another one: this entry might be a little bit on the TMI side of things.  HOWEVER.  After a discussion on Facebook yesterday, I decided that it's something that needs to be talked about.  When I had my tubes tied there was no one to say, "OMG, DON'T DO IT." 

So.  If you're considering getting your tubes tied: OMG, DON'T DO IT.

I had mine done following my c-section with Karis.  We knew we didn't want to have anymore  children and, really, it was a no-brainer.  I was already going to be having surgery so we'd knock out two birds with one stone.  I didn't really research the procedure.  I only had one person tell me that she had period problems after and, honestly, I thought a little more frequent/ heavier periods would be worth the reassurance of permanent birth control.

What I did not realize, did not know, was that having a tubal ligation would make me CRAY CRAY.

Thing is, one of the (many) afflictions of being female is that as soon as you mess with anything below the belt, you're pretty much just asking for your hormones to go berserk.  I blame that bitch Eve.

I have "PMS" for two weeks out of every month.  I have symptoms when I ovulate and again before/ during my period.  And when I say "symptoms" I mean I'm either homicidal bitch or depressed bitch.  The "raging anger" usually hits hardest around the time I ovulate.  Every little thing pisses me off.  I'm on the warpath.  You don't want to get in my way.  I could go on and on.  You get the picture: I am ANGRY.  If I'm not feeling homicidal, I'm sad.  So sad.  About anything and everything.  I cry over nothing and I cry about everything.  It's better than being angry but it's still not fun.  Not fun at all.  And this goes on for two weeks out of every single month.  I know I need to talk to my doctor and do something (hormonal birth control - noooooo! - or pills to control the crazy) but I've drug my feet on it because, well, I don't know.  Just because. 

In addition to the crazy mood swings, there are also the physical side effects of having a tubal done.  Riding the crimson wave is never, ever, ever fun.  Ever.  But, since having my tubes tied, it's worse than ever.  I've always had bad cramps and they're even worse.  I cramp when I ovulate and also right before my period starts and sometimes the cramps can be excruciating.  If a month goes by where they're not bad then I dread the next month because I know it's going to be a killer.  They are intense and they are agonizing -- to the point that they sometimes feel just as bad as labor!  Ummm, I had this whole thing done because I didn't WANT to ever deal with labor pains ever again!  Not only are the cramps hell, but my actual period is heavier and lasts longer.

If I could go back in time, there's no way I would have the tubal done.  If you're thinking of having one done, consider all your options.  Honestly, I think we'd have been much better off if I'd had the hubs get the old snip-snip-sniperoo (not as invasive, easy recovery, they don't get cray cray after they have it done).  I think I'd even rather take a birth control pill every day!  Seriously, folks, think about it and think long and hard.  Sometimes I think I'd rather have another kid in the mix than having to deal with the TLC (Tubal Ligation Crazy).

And, with that, I promise to never again talk about my periods!

Thursday Things

1) I haven't done a CBO (Cheap Bitch Outfit) in aaaages.  I think it's harder to dress on the cheap in the winter time.  And also? I really prefer tanktops and flipflops to sweaters and boots wif' da fur.  I think I've been rotating the same three sweaters all winter -- maybe jazzing it up with a different shirt underneath and alternating my brown and black boots.  BO-RING. 

This is what I wore to church Sunday:

Why am I doing the Angelina Jolie leg?  Please let me know when you figure it out.



This outfit is pretty underwhelming (i.e. BO-RING [again!]) but it was cheap to put together and my husband LOVED it.  Probably because I was out of yoga pants and the shirt wasn't holey, stained, or had been in my dresser since circa 1999.

Anyhow -- CBO stats:

Pants, The Limited, $2 yard sale find (they also made an appearance here!)
Shirt, Express, $1 yard sale find
Camisole, Forever 21, $3
Necklace, $3, Body Central
The boots were purchased back in 2007 -- making them older than two of my children.  Whatever I (And by I, I mean Eddie -- we weren't married at the time and hadn't combined our incomes) paid for them they were worth it because here it is six seasons later and I'm still wearing them.  Also, they came from Payless and I'm pretty sure they were in the $40 range.  Winning!

So not counting the boots (come on, ya'll, they were a GIFT) the whole outfit was about $10!

2) How about another type of CBO?

Cheap Baby Outfit.

One of the best things about having a baby girl?  LAYERING.  This little girl has so many summer dresses that can be turned into winter dresses with a pair of tights/ leggings and a sweater.

Evil much in that first pic?  Jeeez!



Everything - with the exception of the red tights and pink boots - was purchased at yard sales or on consignment.  The pink boots were just $8 on Black Friday! 

3) Speaking of consignment -- one of the kids' consignment shops in my area had a special last Friday and everything on their $1 racks was BOGO.  I was able to get a shirt and dress for Karis and two pairs of pants for Kyan to wear to school next year (gasp!) for $2.  Can't beat that.

4) How is potty training going you ask?  Well, I want to PUNCH IN THE THROAT every single person who claims to have trained a child by age 18 months.  That's how it's going, friends.  That's.how.it's.going.

5) The episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel get drunk (and subsequently married) was on yesterday.  Favorite!


6) The Birds got his report card yesterday.

Perfect again!  So proud of him.

7) So, like everybody on Facebook was all "Lee Brice!"  "I Drive Your Truck!"  "Must hear this song!" 

Assholes.

I looked it up.  And then I cried.  Cause, like I said, assholes.  If you decide to look it up, well, can't say I didn't warn you.

Also, I love country music but it's pretty rare that I listen to country radio.  I was thinking Lee Brice was the guy who was runner-up on American Idol several years ago.  I was thinking WRONG.  Apparently that was Bo Bice.  So, not really even close.  Huh.

8) I've yet to drop any of the four holiday pounds that are [still] hanging around.  Not a big deal.  I just want to be back at my pre-holiday weight before I go to New York in March.  However.  The other day Kyan told me my "big butt" was looking "even bigger than usual."  What the?  Man.  No one can tell the truth quite like a four-year-old.  Sheesh.

9) The winter time makes me ugly (fat, pale, bad skin) and, apparently, it also makes me pretty damn boring.  Apologies.

10) This.

Very Few Things in Life are Sweeter than Notre Dame Being Embarrassed (by the SEC!) on National TV. This Entry? Not One of Those Things.

I really have nothing to write about today but I couldn't pass up a chance to throw in a dig at Notre Dame in my title.

If you know college football then odds are good that the only thing that surprised you about last night's game was Brent Musberger basically ahem'ing himself over AJ McCarron's girlfriend.  (Really, Musberger?  Gross).  Notre Dame is notoriously overrated and this year was no different.  The only thing that surprised me about the game was the point spread.  That it wasn't larger. 

The past two Tuesdays I've been stuck in the frame of mind that it's actually Wednesday.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  Especially considering the only good thing about this Tuesday is that there's (another!) new episode of Parenthood.  It's like NBC finally realized what the the rest of America has known all along (that P'hood is all kinds of fabulous) and had decided to give us more than eight new episodes a season.  About time!

This Tuesday sucks more than last Tuesday because . . .

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, THIS LITTLE GIRL WILL BE POTTY TRAINED. 

I had her about 80% trained before I went to Vegas a few months ago but then no one worked with her while I was gone.  And I guess she wasn't really ready because she didn't so much as initiate or try to go on her own.

But now.  NOW.  Three months from her third birthday -- SHE WILL BE TRAINED. 

We have a tiny potty, lots of lemonade, plent of M&M's, the promise of anything she wants from the Disney Store and we're going to kick this thing in the tush.  Oh yes we are.  She's currently telling me she wants a diaper and, twice now, has kicked down the lid of the potty.  But, guess what homey? I've done this twice* before.  I'm not backing down.  I WILL WIN.  (Please don't let those be famous last words, please don't let those be famous last words, please don't let those be famous last words).

* Yeah, okay so ONCE.  The first time I got lucky and he pretty much trained himself.  I kind of hold a grudge over that, though, because the second and third ones haven't been so nice and COME ON, it's totally the job of the first kid to prepare you for anything the subsequent ones may throw your way.

Now.  So as for this entry to not be ALL about potty training (yeah, totally being THAT blogger.  Sorry for those of you who don't have kids.  Keep those legs closed, girls!) I'll leave you with this little gem.  Jaidan's punishment for "it's all your fault!!!"'ing his brother one too many times last week was to write sentences.  Yeah.  Way to go on that first sentence, Buddy.

"I don't like Kyan" for those who don't read Kindergarten

He ended up writing ten things he likes about his brother.  WINNING.

 



Have a totally fabulous Tuesday!  I'm off to bribe a kid to sit on the potty, start making a lasagna, and continue laundry.  Admit it: you're totally jealous of this fabulous life I lead!

P.S. I'm sorry if you're a Notre Dame fan and I offended you.  No.  Wait.  I'm just sorry if you're a Notre Dame fan.  :/

Can This Guy Only Talk About Jesus?!?

The kids and I went to a new church yesterday morning.  The kids and I.  This is actually kind of a big deal because, you see, I'm not exactly shy and I'm a pretty social person but I don't like doing things for the first time by myself.  Even if it's just things like shopping in a new store or checking out a new restaurant.  Oh, the restaurants!  Do I order at the counter?  Seat myself or wait to be seated?  Pay at the table?  Do they have a cashier?  See, if there's someone else with me then we BOTH stand the chance of looking a fool if we "do it wrong."  If I'm by myself, the fool card falls squarely on my shoulders.  Being foolish is so much easier in a group. 

Anyway, Eddie worked overnight Saturday morning so he was still snoozing away when we left for church.  And I wasn't going to let my resolution to get back into church more regularly go POOF the very first Sunday in January. So we went.  Just me and the kids.  Me - the only adult.  Out on a limb, all by myself.

I'm not exactly in love with where I live (I'm talking about Memphis here, y'all).  I mean, the location can't be beat.  I'm still in the south, I'm close to my family, and I'm fairly centrally located -- to the point that I can be in Dallas in seven hours, Atlanta in eight, and Chicago in nine.  Pretty cool.  However.  This town isn't friendly to transplants, it's full of ghetto fabulousness, and it's home to the mega church.

Ah, the mega church.

I grew up in small town Arkansas.  Growing up small town anywhere means you grow up in small town churches.  Churches that didn't have "music ministers" but rather a deacon that served double duty by leading the singing.  Churches that had potlucks and Sunday Night Sings and Ice Cream Socials.

The churches here are not like that, not at all.  And I've yet to decide if that's a good thing or not.  On the one hand, I want to go to a church where the pastor knows my name.  On the other, the anonymity of blending in with the crowd, of going to a church where everyone doesn't know all your business - that sounds kind of nice. 

The church we tried yesterday was on the smaller side, I suppose, for Memphis. They had two services but the church wasn't so large that they had to provide "campus maps" or anything crazy like that.  The lady who greeted us when we walked into the church was so amazingly friendly -- the kind of person who should always greet anyone who comes into any church anywhere.  She introduced us to the pastor, another huge plus in my mind.  Believe it or not, when "researching" churches I ran across one whose website included a FAQ section with the question "can I meet Pastor So-n-So?"  Wait, what?  They're kidding, right?  People actually have to ASK if they can meet the PREACHER of their CHURCH?  Yeah, thanks but I have no desire to worship any man's ego.  Next!

This church we went to didn't have a children's church during services.  BIG, HUGE, LARGE mark against it.  I understand that my children need to learn to sit still and listen during worship service.  I totally get that, understand it.  But at four and six (Karis was able to go to the nursery), my boys just are not ready for that.  Not even a little bit.  Jaidan was bored and, at one point, leaned over and whispered, "can this guy only talk about JESUS?"  I really enjoyed the service.  I liked the pastor.  The women working in the nursery were overly friendly and Karis - Little Miss Shy, Regina George, Doesn't Like People - didn't want to leave.  But I'm not sure if we can get past the absence of a children's church.

In addition to the mega church "problem," another issue with churches in this area is diversity.  Read: there is none.  At Jaidan's school, you will find children of every race.  In his little class of just over twenty kids, there is no "majority" race and children are black,white, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, biracial, and everything in between.  Churches though?  Notsomuch.  I saw one black face and a couple of Asian Indian families at this church we went to yesterday.  Other than that it was just a sea of white, white, and more white.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I guess if the church "feels" right on every other aspect I can get over the lack of diversity.  But I don't want my kids to feel different or, if Eddie were to go with us one Sunday, I wouldn't want him to feel weird.

I know we're not going to find the perfect church for us right off the bat.  I also know that I can't let weird little "Brandi things" (i.e. being irritated because the church lists the hymn numbers in the weekly bulletin - that may or may not be confiscated by a four-year-old on a mission to draw Power Rangers - rather than having the music minister ask everyone to turn to hymn 360 while the organist fires up) in the way of finding the church that's right for us.  In the end, what matters is that we came home yesterday and it felt like the day went a little smoother than normal Sundays.  And I KNOW that's because we started off our morning in church.

It Happened This Week

Now that Jaidan is in school and "first week of the year" is also synonymous with getting back into routine, not being able to sleep in, not napping in the middle of the day, yadda yadda, I feel that I can appropriately deem it: worst week of the year.  Nothing bad happened.  I mean, we're all here and healthy and my husband didn't surprise me with bringing home a puppy or anything.  But the week has just been pure BALLS.  It's been dragging a six-year-old out of bed, having to force him to do every SINGLE LITTLE THING in the mornings, cursing under my breath when I realize that it's 27 expletive expletive expletive degrees outside, fighting school traffic, etc, etc, on and on and on.

I do not like January.  I do not like it in a house.  I do not like it in a mouse.  I do not like it here or there.  I do not like it anywhere.

A little look at our week, last two pictures of 2012 and first five of 2013:

 

 

They aren't Red Solo Cups but I think Dollar Store Blue is pretty good for a redneck new year!