Can This Guy Only Talk About Jesus?!?

The kids and I went to a new church yesterday morning.  The kids and I.  This is actually kind of a big deal because, you see, I'm not exactly shy and I'm a pretty social person but I don't like doing things for the first time by myself.  Even if it's just things like shopping in a new store or checking out a new restaurant.  Oh, the restaurants!  Do I order at the counter?  Seat myself or wait to be seated?  Pay at the table?  Do they have a cashier?  See, if there's someone else with me then we BOTH stand the chance of looking a fool if we "do it wrong."  If I'm by myself, the fool card falls squarely on my shoulders.  Being foolish is so much easier in a group. 

Anyway, Eddie worked overnight Saturday morning so he was still snoozing away when we left for church.  And I wasn't going to let my resolution to get back into church more regularly go POOF the very first Sunday in January. So we went.  Just me and the kids.  Me - the only adult.  Out on a limb, all by myself.

I'm not exactly in love with where I live (I'm talking about Memphis here, y'all).  I mean, the location can't be beat.  I'm still in the south, I'm close to my family, and I'm fairly centrally located -- to the point that I can be in Dallas in seven hours, Atlanta in eight, and Chicago in nine.  Pretty cool.  However.  This town isn't friendly to transplants, it's full of ghetto fabulousness, and it's home to the mega church.

Ah, the mega church.

I grew up in small town Arkansas.  Growing up small town anywhere means you grow up in small town churches.  Churches that didn't have "music ministers" but rather a deacon that served double duty by leading the singing.  Churches that had potlucks and Sunday Night Sings and Ice Cream Socials.

The churches here are not like that, not at all.  And I've yet to decide if that's a good thing or not.  On the one hand, I want to go to a church where the pastor knows my name.  On the other, the anonymity of blending in with the crowd, of going to a church where everyone doesn't know all your business - that sounds kind of nice. 

The church we tried yesterday was on the smaller side, I suppose, for Memphis. They had two services but the church wasn't so large that they had to provide "campus maps" or anything crazy like that.  The lady who greeted us when we walked into the church was so amazingly friendly -- the kind of person who should always greet anyone who comes into any church anywhere.  She introduced us to the pastor, another huge plus in my mind.  Believe it or not, when "researching" churches I ran across one whose website included a FAQ section with the question "can I meet Pastor So-n-So?"  Wait, what?  They're kidding, right?  People actually have to ASK if they can meet the PREACHER of their CHURCH?  Yeah, thanks but I have no desire to worship any man's ego.  Next!

This church we went to didn't have a children's church during services.  BIG, HUGE, LARGE mark against it.  I understand that my children need to learn to sit still and listen during worship service.  I totally get that, understand it.  But at four and six (Karis was able to go to the nursery), my boys just are not ready for that.  Not even a little bit.  Jaidan was bored and, at one point, leaned over and whispered, "can this guy only talk about JESUS?"  I really enjoyed the service.  I liked the pastor.  The women working in the nursery were overly friendly and Karis - Little Miss Shy, Regina George, Doesn't Like People - didn't want to leave.  But I'm not sure if we can get past the absence of a children's church.

In addition to the mega church "problem," another issue with churches in this area is diversity.  Read: there is none.  At Jaidan's school, you will find children of every race.  In his little class of just over twenty kids, there is no "majority" race and children are black,white, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, biracial, and everything in between.  Churches though?  Notsomuch.  I saw one black face and a couple of Asian Indian families at this church we went to yesterday.  Other than that it was just a sea of white, white, and more white.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I guess if the church "feels" right on every other aspect I can get over the lack of diversity.  But I don't want my kids to feel different or, if Eddie were to go with us one Sunday, I wouldn't want him to feel weird.

I know we're not going to find the perfect church for us right off the bat.  I also know that I can't let weird little "Brandi things" (i.e. being irritated because the church lists the hymn numbers in the weekly bulletin - that may or may not be confiscated by a four-year-old on a mission to draw Power Rangers - rather than having the music minister ask everyone to turn to hymn 360 while the organist fires up) in the way of finding the church that's right for us.  In the end, what matters is that we came home yesterday and it felt like the day went a little smoother than normal Sundays.  And I KNOW that's because we started off our morning in church.

My First Blog of 2013. Better Make it Awesome. Or, At Least, Mediocre.

A month or so ago, Eddie was all "I have to work New Years Eve night.  Sorry babe."  What's new?

Then a few weeks later he told me he was able to switch shifts with someone and was going to be off by 6:00.  Now, it would have taken an act of God and the planets aligning for us to be able to find a babysitter on NYE but we were hopeful that we would actually be able to go out, to do something, to be blissfully childfree to ring in 2013.  Ha.  That's really funny.  God and the planets are probably still laughing.  "Good one, Brandi."

Before we even had a chance to secure babysitting, Eddie's work schedule changed again and he ended up having to work overnight.  And all this was just a long, convoluted way for me to tell you that I celebrated the new year with three kids -- there were good intentions of the hourly balloon idea from Pinterest, sparkling grape juice, and the game of Life.

 



Yeah right.  My boys were arguing over every.little.thing and I finally sent them to bed at 9:00.  My New Years Eve consisted of unclogging a toilet and watching a Roseanne rerun.  Glamorous life I lead, y'all.  The highlight of my evening was seeing a commercial for a dating website for famers - farmersonly.com.  It's real and it made my night.  I KNOW!  I feel sorry for myself.

I'm a great big pushover and let my boys get up (they were still up, but I let them come out of the horrible confinement of their rooms - you know, it's sooo awful with all the toys and the Netflix and the tablets) to "toast" to the new year.  I did it mainly for THIS photo op (that looked way better in my mind) and also because I spent a whole buck each on those hats at the Dollar Tree and couldn't let that go to waste. 

Yeah, I totally failed large time with those homemade 2013 glasses.

Please hold while I write a blog about how Pinterest has ruined my life, mmkay?

So now it's 2013 and I guess I'm supposed to tell you all about all the things I'm resolving to do or not to do?  Are you quoting some weird form of Shakespeare right now -- to do or not to do; to resolve or not resolve?  No?  Yeah, me neither.

I know a lot of people are all "efffff, resolutions!"  I am not one of these people.  This girl?  She's a fan of resolutin'.

I usually resolve to get my house more organized.  I start out on feeee-ire the first, oh, two days and organize my junk drawer and possibly the pantry.  Then I give up before I ever make it to the parts of the house that weren't organized the previous January.  I've given up all hope of ever having an organized house while my children are young.  Or, you know, while I'm living.  I'm not going to resolve to do something I know I'm going to fail at.  Saying I'm going to organize my house is akin to me agreeing to give up my Faturday Gluttony Fests.  Or, like, Kim Kardashian resolving to not be a media whore. 

I'm also - for the first time in as long as I can remember - NOT resolving to lose weight this new year.  I KNOW!  I'm actually *gasp* HAPPY with my weight.  Write this down, mothertruckers, because I cannot believe it's happening either.  (If I'm being completely honest, I've been eating like an asshole since Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve and, therefore, am not stepping on the scale for another week or so.  Here's crossing fingers and hoping I'm still all BFF'd and LYLAS'd up with said scale when D-Day rolls around).

Basically, I have two resolutions this year and neither of them are all that interesting.  I have no real vices other than wine and that's already reserved for weekends, special occasions, bad days, and random Tuesdays. 

All that said, my two resolutions:

1) Be more assertive.  I really need to work on standing up for myself more.  I'm bad about just "whatever"-ing things even if it happens to be stuff I really care about.  If I care about it, then I need to express that!  I'm 32 years old so I know it's not like this is a trait that's going to change over night but I am actively going to work on making my feelings a priority.

2) Go back to church.  I was raised in the Baptist church and went very regularly up until about a decade ago.  In the past ten or so years, I've really been hit or miss with my attendance.  I have to do better, for my own spiritual well-being and for my children.  My main issue with churches in this area is that Memphis is the Land of the Mega-Church.  I'd like to go somewhere where the pastor knows my name (sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came -- Boston bar, Memphis mega-church . . . same dif).  As a friend pointed out, though, one definite perk of the mega-church is they usually have amazing children's programs.  So, who knows what we'll do or how many churches we'll try out before we find the one that's right for us.  But we are going to try them out and get back in the routine of attending!

Other things that aren't resolutions because they won't make me a better person but I'm going to attempt to them anyway: start using Twitter again, "de-lurk" on blogs I read (not counting the hate reads), find a new series or two to watch on Netflix, finally finish To Kill a Mockingbird, be better about keeping up with email and responding to blog comments, start using Swagbucks again (totally just linked my account in an effor to get you to sign up so that I can earn swagbucks and $5 Amazon gift cards off of YOU), and not gain weight. 

Be kind to me, 2013.  I know you're the year of the Kardashian-West baby but, other than that, be good to me (and, for the love of all that's holy, no breakups on the Amy Poehler/ Will Arnett level.  PLEASE GOD NO).

The End.

Put on your party bras, girls, it's the very last day of this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year!  2011 is just hours away from being Over with a capital O and I could not be more excited to see 2012 on the horizon.

Even though the world might end.

And even though both Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry have the prospect of being elected president before the year runs out.

And, oh snap, even though we have an entire eleven months worth of political ads to look forward to.

Poop.  Maybe I'm not so excited to see 2012 on the horizon.

Since it's a new year and all that means it's time for *drum roll* resolutions and goals.  Here are mine:

1) Lose the holiday pounds.  Blah, blah.  Same every year.  I have been eating like an asshole for a week now and refuse - refuse! - to step on a scale until I have a week of Slimfast and rice cakes under my belt.  So I'm not exactly sure how much I have to lose but I'm thinking more than five, less than ten.  Except I may go ahead and lose another five beyond that since I go to New Orleans in SIX WEEKS and plan to eat my way through the French Quarter.

2) Decorate my house.  I mean, I've only lived here since 2009.  I've only been waiting on the walls to be painted since right around the time Karis - who was born in April of 2010 - was born.  It's time to embrace the baby poop yellow of the walls and just decorate.

3) Organize.  Blah, blah.  I think the resolve to do this each year lasts until about January 4th.  So we'll see.

4) I want 2012 to be the last year I buy diapers.  Ever.  I realize this depends more on  Karis than me but I'm determined.  Since she's no longer a newborn we go through a box of diapers about one every three weeks.  This is 17 boxes in a year at a cost of $20 a pop.  Which is almost $350 I could be spending on something else.  Like a plane ticket to Vegas. 

5) Make my husband clean out the garage.  "The garage" has been a resolution since 2009.  Yes, even before we actually moved to Memphis.  We have a history with garages.

6) Do at least two craft projects a month.

7) Project 366.  I've done it for the past two years.  I can do it again.  This year I'm also going to add this element to it.  (Sorta). 

Happy 2012!  I'll leave you with my favorite P365 pics from the year: