Very Few Things in Life are Sweeter than Notre Dame Being Embarrassed (by the SEC!) on National TV. This Entry? Not One of Those Things.

I really have nothing to write about today but I couldn't pass up a chance to throw in a dig at Notre Dame in my title.

If you know college football then odds are good that the only thing that surprised you about last night's game was Brent Musberger basically ahem'ing himself over AJ McCarron's girlfriend.  (Really, Musberger?  Gross).  Notre Dame is notoriously overrated and this year was no different.  The only thing that surprised me about the game was the point spread.  That it wasn't larger. 

The past two Tuesdays I've been stuck in the frame of mind that it's actually Wednesday.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  Especially considering the only good thing about this Tuesday is that there's (another!) new episode of Parenthood.  It's like NBC finally realized what the the rest of America has known all along (that P'hood is all kinds of fabulous) and had decided to give us more than eight new episodes a season.  About time!

This Tuesday sucks more than last Tuesday because . . .

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, THIS LITTLE GIRL WILL BE POTTY TRAINED. 

I had her about 80% trained before I went to Vegas a few months ago but then no one worked with her while I was gone.  And I guess she wasn't really ready because she didn't so much as initiate or try to go on her own.

But now.  NOW.  Three months from her third birthday -- SHE WILL BE TRAINED. 

We have a tiny potty, lots of lemonade, plent of M&M's, the promise of anything she wants from the Disney Store and we're going to kick this thing in the tush.  Oh yes we are.  She's currently telling me she wants a diaper and, twice now, has kicked down the lid of the potty.  But, guess what homey? I've done this twice* before.  I'm not backing down.  I WILL WIN.  (Please don't let those be famous last words, please don't let those be famous last words, please don't let those be famous last words).

* Yeah, okay so ONCE.  The first time I got lucky and he pretty much trained himself.  I kind of hold a grudge over that, though, because the second and third ones haven't been so nice and COME ON, it's totally the job of the first kid to prepare you for anything the subsequent ones may throw your way.

Now.  So as for this entry to not be ALL about potty training (yeah, totally being THAT blogger.  Sorry for those of you who don't have kids.  Keep those legs closed, girls!) I'll leave you with this little gem.  Jaidan's punishment for "it's all your fault!!!"'ing his brother one too many times last week was to write sentences.  Yeah.  Way to go on that first sentence, Buddy.

"I don't like Kyan" for those who don't read Kindergarten

He ended up writing ten things he likes about his brother.  WINNING.

 



Have a totally fabulous Tuesday!  I'm off to bribe a kid to sit on the potty, start making a lasagna, and continue laundry.  Admit it: you're totally jealous of this fabulous life I lead!

P.S. I'm sorry if you're a Notre Dame fan and I offended you.  No.  Wait.  I'm just sorry if you're a Notre Dame fan.  :/

It Feels Like Fall! Except it Doesn't. Alternately Titled: Put Away the Boots and Hoodies Before You Make Me Burst a Blood Vessell from Giving You the Stank Eye

It stormed here Wednesday night, Thursday night, and Friday night.  Thursday and Friday mornings we woke up and it was steamy and humid and gross.  Karis and I went for a walk Thursday morning and by the time we made it home (before 10:00!) I was dripping with sweat, looked like I'd been in some sort of wet t-shirt contest for the over 30-with-droppy-boobs crowd.  Friday night's storm brought a cold front along with it, though, and when we woke Saturday morning we were greeted with FALL.  Except not.  The 80's we had on Saturday were so much nicer than the OMGHOT we've had from this cruel, cruel summer that it felt much cooler than it actually was.

Which brings me to one of the things - maybe even THE one thing - I hate most about this time of year.  As soon as the thermometer dips below 90, people are pulling out their hoodies.  Putting on their boots.  Stowing away the shorts and tank tops and flip flops.  Ordering pumpkin spice lattes and hot chocolate.  And this, my friends, MAKES ME STABBY.  Okay, everything except for the pumpkin spice anything (totes bought my first bag of pumpkin spice Kisses the other day).  And I plan to have chili simmering in the crockpot within the next hour.  And maybe, possibly in my euphoria from taking a walk and not having to come home and immediately jump in the shower, I posted a "woo hoo fall!" status on Facebook the other day.  But the hoodies are still packed away and the boots are in the back of my closet.  It's not fall.  Yet.  Let's just be happy with the slight cool down, with the weather that allows us to enjoy being outside but still makes flip flops possible, that we can feel "in season" with a pumpkin spice latte OR a strawberry slushie.

Speaking of all things fall related - FOOTBALL.

Yeah.

Football.

Saturday was brutal to Razorback nation.  Several injured players and we lost - in overtime - to St. Mary's School for Wayward Girls.  Now, I will be the first to tell you that when the preseason rankings came out and we were at #10, I felt disloyal in thinking "nuh-uh."  Believe me, I love my Razorbacks and I would like nothing more than to see them deserving of being on top of every poll in the nation.  However.  The offseason was - how do we put this delicately - a little rough.  Still.  I may have thought #10 was a little more than we deserved but I did NOT think we would lose to Louisiana Monroe in the SECOND GAME OF THE SEASON.

It's probably karma on my part for poking fun at Texas A&M for losing their first ever SEC game.

Regardless.  I'm a Hog fan and we all know bad games happen.  Bad seasons happen.  And, from the chorus of "Bring Bobby Back!" on Facebook, it seems like there's a good chance that everything old can be new again come next season.

Woo Pig!

I Don't Wanna Talk About It

Finding a couple to "date" is one of the hardest things for us married people.  Or, well, for any people who are in a relationship and want another couple to hang out with from time to time.  You both like the girl and your man gets along with her man but YOU think he's a douchebag.  Or you like the couple but your hubby think's her laugh is the most annoying thing on earth.  Seriously.  Dating another couple is harder than just plain DATING.

This makes the fact that Eddie and I both get along with our friends Kira and Jon pretty extraordinary.  We have no couple friends in Memphis.  But when we go to Dallas - well, I like Kira and I like Jon.  And Eddie likes Kira and he likes Jon.  And the feeling seems to be mutual. 

So, really, if we were going to be in Dallas last Friday for The Big Game there were no other people I'd rather have shared the experience with.  And considering they have two bar areas in their house -- and a ton of liquor left over from their wedding -- hanging out with them at their place was the perfect choice.  Especially for that particular game.

The Big Game.  Arkansas played LSU.  Arkansas ranked #3, our only loss of the season to #2 Alabama.  LSU ranked #1.  Some truly unbelievable things have happened in college football this season.  Who could have predicted that a couple weeks ago three top five teams would all lose?  Needless to say, I really thought Arkansas could pull off the victory.  Two touchdown underdog?  We'll take it and WE WILL RUB YOUR FACE IN IT, TIGERS.  Not only did I think Arkansas could - and would - win the game but I thought Auburn could do us all a favor, knock off the Tide on Saturday, and Arkansas could go to the SEC championship game and then onto the national championship.  I had big hopes.

Too big.

The game started off in our favor and after the first touchdown, I had the bright idea of taking a shot after every Arkansas TD.

We only took one more shot after this one.

And then half one when we scored a field goal.

WHAT???  You don't let YOUR four-year-old in on a the shot toast?

The final score of the game was 41-17 and not in our favor.  I'm glad I had consumed a margarita or two.  And half a bottle of Moscato.  It made it much less painful.

And even though I don't wanna talk about that game, I still LOVE MY RAZORBACKS.  They shouldn't have dropped to #8 in the standings and it makes me want to punch a BCS official in the babymaker that they are below Boise State.  But they'll go to a decent bowl this year, they'll win, and next year WE WILL KICK SOME TIGER BUTT.

Woooo Pig Soieeee!

In the meantime, I'm going to hope for an SEC rematch in the national championship game and will be pulling out my houndstooth and getting my "ROLL TIDE ROLL" on.  

P.S. Look what it did at my house last night:

We have light flurries falling again right now.  Oh!  And it was 75 degrees on Saturday.  Welcome to the South!

It Happened This Week

A couple weeks ago, after we beat a then #9 South Carolina and LSU came out on top of Alabama, I declared it to be the best day ever in college football.  If that was the best day ever then the past couple days have been the best weekend ever in college football.  If you're not a football fan, you are probably rolling your eyes.   If you are a football fan then you'll wanna punch the BCS in the babymaker (for merely existing and not giving us a REAL playoff system).  Here's the deal.  Before games started being played for the week, these were the standings:

1) LSU
2) Oklahoma State
3) Alabama
4) Oregon
5) Oklahoma
6) Arkansas

Well.

Friday night Oklahoma State lost. Last night Oregon was knocked off by USC.  I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY HATE USC.  This was the one - and only - time I was actually cheering for them.  Of course, in the final seconds of the game when Oregon had the ball on the 23-yard-line and was preparing to kick a field goal to tie the game and sent it to overtime I was yelling to my husband, "SEE?  I TOLD YOU!  USC IS COMPLETELY USELESS.  COMPLETELY.  USELESS."  However, the Most Hated Person in Oregon Right Now (that kicker) missed the field goal and USC won by three.  Thank you, Trojans, and bless your hearts.

So, Oklahoma State was handed a loss.  Oregon lost their second game of the season.

Then.  Oh, then.  BAYLOR BEAT OKLAHOMA.  For the first time in school history!  I went to Baylor, ya'll!!  <=== I just had to say that, even though the football team won, like, a combined total of two games the entire time I was enrolled as a student there.

So Oklahoma State, Oregon, and Oklahoma all lost.  Which means . . . if (and this is a BIG IF) Arkansas finally gets the respect they deserve, my HOGS should be at #3 when the rankings come out this evening.  Eddie doesn't think they'll jump Oklahoma State but I think it's just not fair if they don't.  Arkansas only has one loss and it's to Alabama.  OK State's loss is to unranked Iowa State.  Arkansas should be #3!

Okay, I'm done with football talk.  Really, I am.  I promise.

This next week is shaping up to be a crazy busy one.  I thought I'd just lay around today and do nothing - you know, to prepare and all for the upcoming onslaught of insanity.  But there are kitchen floors to be mopped, dishes to be washed, children to be entertained.  There's no such thinig as a mental health day in da motherhood.

Here's a look at our week:

Sunday 11/13:

This is on Pinterest as something slightly different.  Jaidan saw it the other day and told me he wanted to make it.  When I tried doing it the way it was done in the pin, he told me I was doing it wrong.  He really just wanted to use it as a "maze" for his cars so we taped old aluminum foil boxes to the top of a big box and - voila! - he was occupied for a long ass time.

Monday 11/14:

Tuesday 11/14:

Zhariah had a math project that involved cooking.  So she made dinner Tuesday night.  And yesterday I made her Powerpoint for her project.  Here's hoping "she" gets a good grade on that project!

Wednesday 11/16:

Thursday 11/17:

Friday 11/18:

I also like to title this one: That's my girl!



Saturday 11/19:



Number Eight

My cousin Storme and I got up at 5:30 Saturday morning.  We got cute, put on our best Woo Pig wear, cleaned up a toddler sized ass explosion, and then got on the road.  Destination: Oxford, Mississippi.

Do you know what's in Oxford, Mississippi?

The University of Mississippi.  And not much else.

But, this past weekend, our Hogs were there too.  So Storme and I traveled the hour and a half from Memphis to Oxford to get a little bit of Woo Pig Soiee on.

Did you know Ron White is an Ole Miss fan?  Well, maybe he's not.  But his bootleg version is.

We didn't purchase our tickets in advance.  We waited until we got there and purchased a pair from this dude, who was selling them on a sidewalk, and paused to call the Hogs with me.

We ended up sitting on the Ole Miss side of the field.  We also ended up sitting on row three.  Yes, three.  As in one, two, THREE.  As in awesome. 

The game started off great.  For Ole Miss fans.  Not so much for us Hog fans.  Ole Miss put 17 points up on the board before halftime.  Bobby Petrino apparently gave a good ass chewing at the Half because our boys came back ready to actually play ball in the final two quarters. 

Touchdown Arkansas
First down Arkansas
Touchdown Arkansas

It proved to be a little much for the poor Ole Miss fan in front of us.  He quit yelling "Pulled Pork!  Pulled Pork!" and started sulking.  He withdrew his invitation for Storme and I to attend an Ole Miss party.  And, with Ole Miss down 29-17 with three minutes left in the game, he tucked his tail between his legs and high tailed out of the stadium.

Dumb move.

In those final few minutes, Ole Miss scored a touchdown bringing the score to 29-24.  Then they did an onside kick and recovered it.  That's when my heart stopped beating and I couldn't breathe.  Because all I could think about is how THIS would be the game.  THIS game, the one that I was at, would be the game that Arkansas would lose, dashing all hopes of any BCS nods in December.

Luckily, our defense stepped up and managed to snag an interception.  With less than a minute left in the game, we were able to take a knee and then run out the clock.

Arkansas win.

And now they're number eight in the nation.

Woo Pig Soiee!