25 Days of Christmas

I love the whole idea of the Elf on the Shelf.

I do not, however, like that elf.  He's creepy looking.  I don't want him perched on my mantle or sledding through my shaving cream or staging marshmallow fights with my daughter's Barbies.

We don't have Elf on the Shelf in my house.  We do have a $5 Grinch doll I bought at Kohl's a few years ago.  And he's sort of like a bootleg Elf on the Shelf.  He works for the same purposes and, even though he has yellow eyes, he is nowhere near as creepy looking as that damn elf.

Since Christmas of 2010, my kids and I have done "25 Days of Christmas," where we do a different Christmas-related activity every day of December.  Last year we added the element of the Grinch.  Not only does he watch the kids and report to Santa when they're being straight up a-holes, but he also brings a note every day with their "25 Days of Christmas" activity.  Works for us.

We started a little early this year
First activity: decorate the tree!



I thought I'd share a few of the "25 Days of Christmas" activities we've done in years past just in case any of you might be interested. 

1) Decorate the Christmas tree
2) Make lists for or write letters to Santa Claus
3) Clean out toys to donate -- and to make room for new ones
4) Make some sort of Christmas candy (we usually do this once a week -- we make peppermint bark, fudge, chocolate covered pretzels, cake balls, etc)
5) Elf Yourself!
6) Watch a Christmas movie (another weekly thing 'round these parts)
7) Send your kids a personalized video from Santa
8) Make gingerbread men
9) *Insert craft project here* Yeah, this is another weekly thing.  My kids love construction paper, scissors, glue, and making messes.  I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to things for them to do during the holidays.
10) Drive around to look at Christmas lights
11) Have pictures taken with Santa Claus
12) Put together a gingerbread house
13) Make reindeer food
14) Have a cookie decorating party
15) Make Polar Express hot chocolate (and, you know, maybe watch Polar Express while sipping it)
16) North Pole breakfast! (we did this one last year and it was such a huge hit)
17) Make and deliver goodies to your neighbors
18) Go see a performance of The Nutcracker or a Christmas play or even a church cantata
19) Read the biblical Christmas story
20) Read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (this is my favorite Christmas book EVER.  I tried reading it to my kids last year but they were still too young to be interested.  Crossing my fingers for this year!)
21) Make your own advent calendars (I've been using this one since my days of working at an after school program.  Love it!)
22) Make a trip to a community tree lighting or other holiday festival
23) Talk about different Christmas traditions around the world or other December holidays
24) On Christmas Eve, track Santa on NORAD.
25) Christmas jammies!  Unwrap them on Christmas Eve and cuddle up to watch Home Alone or Christmas Vacation before settling down for a long winter's nap.

Thursday Things

1) Let's take a little break from all the CRUISE CRUISE CRUISE posts to talk about other things that have been going on lately, shall we?

For starters: Thanksgiving!

Eddie had to work (this usually happens every other year) so the kids and I headed to Arkansas to my grandma's house to spend the holiday with my family.  We had a great time.  I love Thanksgiving.  I love turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and I'm sure I would've loved the pumpkin pie but MawMaw and Aunt Sue took both of them (both of them!) with them when they left Thanksgiving night to head to see more family in Bentonville.  I didn't even get so much as once piece.  Not that I'm still bitter about it or anything . . .

Three Cuties

Jaidan helping Gigi with the baking

The kids made their own pie!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOD

This girl.

Chey, Me, Stormany Rhea



My kids looked so cute and were all matchy-matchy in their fall colors and even though I didn't match I thought I'd try to get a picture of the four of us together.  Yeah.  I have a two year old.  Cute picture?  Her looking at the camera?  Both brothers not acting goofy?  Not gonna happen.

Turds.  All of them.



2) So last Friday was this little holiday, you know a tiny little shopping thing, known as BLACK FRIDAY.  I know that there are people who stay in their warm beds, fully immersed in their turkey coma, and tsk tsk at "them crazy bitches" who Black Friday it up.  I am not one of those people.  I am one of them crazy bitches.  I love Black Friday.  I.love.Black.Friday.  I was pretty bitter beer faced about the stores opening up so early this year but I still got up and got my shopping on.  But I didn't enter any store until it actually WAS Friday.  My mom and I went together and our first stop was Kohl's.  We waited in line about an hour and a half (I KNOW), part of the time in the rain (I KNOW) but it was totally worth it when I ended up saving more than I spent AND earning some sweet Kohl's cash that I quickly departed with on Cyber Monday. 

Anyway.  Thanks to Black Friday (we managed to hit a few other stores besides just Kohl's), I'm pretty much done with Christmas shopping for the three youngest kids.  I need two pair of Christmas jammies - and, HELLO, am I the only one who is having the hardest time ever finding those in boys sizes?!? - and stocking stuffers and then done.  Fini, finis, finito!  Z is probably getting one big gift so her shopping is fairly hassle-free this year.  Then I just have a handfull of other people to buy for.

3) Know what else was last Friday?  The last Razorback game of the season.  SAD FACE.



We played LSU.  It was a hard fought game.  I slept through most of it.  We lost.  Season over.

4) I am finally - finally! - all caught up on all my missed episodes of SVU and Parenthood.  Parenthood first.  I dare you to watch so much as one episode of that show without crying.  It is IMpossible.  I'm telling you.  One of the things I love most about that show -- and, believe me, there are PLENTY of things I love about that show -- is that it's pretty much the one show that Eddie and I both appreciate.  He was off yesterday afternoon and spent his down time catching up on the episodes he missed.  We only get to actually watch it together every once in a while but I still appreciate that it's a show we both like.

Now, SVU.  That's my show, ya'll.  I love me some Law & Order and we all know SVU is the best spin off of the series.  Last season, though, was slow and kind of . . kind of sucked.  I mean, I love Detective Scottie Valens Nick Amaro, but he was no Stabler.  This season, though, the new detectives have grown on me.  And I'm digging the story lines a lot more. 

5) Santa Claus is coming to visit the kindergarteners at Jaidan's school.  When I picked him up from school the day he got the permission slip he announced, "you have to sign this paper because Santa Claus - THE REAL ONE - he is coming to Memphis, to my school, and I'm NOT going to miss seeing him."  Alrighty then.  Calm down there, Cowboy.  He's so excited but I'm a little afraid.  Come on.  Santa coming to visit the school is just asking for some little punk ass brat to open his fat mouth and spill the beans to my kid.  I really don't want to have to kick some kindergartener's ass* so let's all hope, pray, chant, whatever that this doesn't happen.  I really hope we can keep Santa Claus alive in our house for years to come.

* I totes would not kick a kindergartener's ass.  Well, I probably wouldn't.  I mean, I hope I wouldn't.  But this is Santa Claus!

6) Karis got her first haircut while we were in Arkansas!  My cousin Donna, who did my first haircut 30+ years ago, gave her a little trim.  It wasn't much hair at all, she just cut off the wipsy little baby fine ends and shaped it up a little bit.

 

Kare Bear can be quite the little drama queen (yeah, NO idea where she got that from) and has been known to scream, thrash, kick, bite, hit, run away, or some combination of the above when having her hair done.  Obviously I was a little unsure of how she would do, but homegirl was a rockstar!

 



7) I think the thing I dislike the most about this time of year is trying to decide whether or not constantly stuffing my face with peppermint bark and fudge and frosted reindeer-shaped cookies is worth eating like a bird for all of January and February in order to get my weight down.  Ahhhh.  What's a girl to do?  If you've read this blog any amount of time at all then you already know what this girl is going to do.  Peppermint bark . . . where are ya . . .

8) I need about three extra hours (hours where my children are sleeping, natch) in a day just to get shit done.  I feel like I'm so behind on everything.  If you've emailed me or commented in the past couple weeks, I swear I'm not ignoring you or just being an asshole. 

9) We're in the process of getting the house all decorated for the holidays.  We still have some stuff left to do.  And you're hardly going to find my living room featured on Pinterest but I'm really digging it so far:



10)

Oh Mexico, It Sounds So Sweet with the Sun Sinking Low

Our cruise stopped in two different ports in Mexico.  The first was Progreso.  For the record, there are two or three Progresos in Mexico and this was NOT the one on the border.  It was, however, a different world from places like Cozumel and Cancun.



When we were planning the trip, I perused message boards to find the best things to do in Progreso.  I figured that we could ride a tour bus into town where we'd find some shopping and then meander on down to the beach.  While on the boat, though, we decided to book an excursion and ended up doing the Coronoa Beach Party.



Best.Idea.Ever.

For two reasons.

First off, OPEN BAR.

Second, Progreso is . . . well, like I said previously, it's not Cozumel or Cancun or any other crazy touristy place.  It is Mexico.  Every police officer we saw (and we saw several) was armed with a machine gun.  Honestly, I wouldn't have felt safe if we were "on our own" and not with the excursion. 

Our tour guide was a guy named Alan and he was awesome.  He and the driver of our (air conditioned) charter bus took us on a little tour of the city before arriving at the beach.  We were there two weeks ago today.  As we drove around the tiny little town square, we saw people putting up Christmas decorations.  Yet it was nearly 90 degrees outside.  Alan informed us that it was winter there and most of them thought the weather was cold!  I KNOW!  To me, it was Heaven.  I love me some 80's and I love me some beach.

Now . . . Progreso.  It is on the Gulf so the beaches look more like what you'd find in Texas or Alabama than the crystal blue water and sugar white sand of the beaches.  We didn't spend much time in the water.  We mostly soaked up the sun, enjoyed that fabulous open bar, took advantage of their free wifi (!!!!!), snacked on nachos and some super delicious pico, and made friends with a couple there who had the good fortune of being from Arkansas.

I cannot say enough nice things about the Corona Beach Party.  If you ever take a Carnival cruise to Progreso, this is definitely the excursion to book.  It was relatively cheap ($40 per person) compared to other excursions and especially with everything involved.  The drinks were good, the food was good, and the staff was great.  There were different beach games but none of the high pressure "must do this, must do this."  It was just . . . it was great.

Once we arrived back to the port area of we hit up a few shops and I discovered that there is no way I can ever, ever hate on Progreso:

That's right!  Them bitches know where it's at!

WOO PIG SOIEEE!

I'm on a Boat! Well, I Was.

Andy Samberg is totally my guilty pleasure crush.  He's adorable and funny and, well, nerdy is the new sexy.  So it probably comes as no surprise to you that I spent the first few hours we were on our cruise proclaiming, "I'm on a boat!" 

Serious F-Bombs.  You've been warned.

Eddie was all, "WHAT?" and I was all, "I'm on a boat, mother&@*&@!  Take a look at me!" and he was all, "Ummm, DIVORCE."

Anyway.  The first night on the boat, we walked by one of the lounges as they were doing karaoke and guess what the guy was singing.  Just guess.

I KNOW!

He was totally singing "I'm on a Boat."  The explicit version even!  It totally made the trip.  Like, I realized right then and there that, yes, this vacation was a good idea and, yes, we picked the perfect ship to sail on.  Because, HELLO, we were ON A BOAT.

Once we really seriously started looking at cruises for this fall, I knew I wanted to take a five day rather than a seven.  For starters, I wasn't 100% the husband would have a great time and, yeah, I didn't want to be stuck in a small cabin on a boat in the middle of the whole damn OCEAN if he was on his man rag that week.  Then, you know, we have small children and I wasn't sure I would want to be away from them the additional two days.  And I went on a seven day a few years back and thought it was just a smidge too long.  It felt like the last days at sea were "Oh Em Gee, are we ever going to get back on dry land."  Only that was 2004 and no one was saying "oh em gee" then.  It was totes an LOL world.

This time around, though, I was kind of looking forward to those days at sea.  You know what's changed, other than internet slang, since 2004?  These things called kids.  I have them.  I haven't slept in, rested, or relaxed since 2006.  And I have the bags under my eyes to prove it.  On this trip, I was going to find a deck chair under the sun, lay my ass in it, and not move until we ported into Progreso.  Well, except for to eat.  Because, you know, that's half the fun of cruising, right?  The food.  And if you've read this blog any amount of time then you arrdy done KNOW there's a food post in the works.

We so enjoyed our days at sea.

The only issues?

One -- it was COLD when we left New Orleans.  Cold! 

I really love the city and I'm starting to get the feeling that things between us are not mutual.  You see, when I was there in February it was the ONLY cold weekend of the whole damn year.  Then I come back in November.  It was in the 80's the day before we sailed out.  COLD that day we left.  Cold, cold, cold.

 



I don't have the photography skillz to have really captured the sunset but, gahhh, it was beautiful.  Love this city.

 

By the next morning, the boat had made its way into the Gulf and it had warmed up quite a bit.  And I finally got to enjoy some sunshine and R&R on the deck!

Yes, we were totally those suckers who spent more on PICTURES than we did on the actual CRUISE.



 

The evening of our first full day at sea was "elegant night" where everyone pulled out their evening gowns cocktail dresses and tuxedos nicest button downs (more things have changed since 2004 . . . )  Eddie and I haven't had professional pictures of just the two of us taken since the fifth of never so we had some done by the ship's photogs.

I love this one!

 

I don't love this one.  I look constipated, we're too posed, and Eddie is wearing his "that's mah beyotch" face.  My friend Cat said, on Facebook, that it looks like romance novel covers.  Got that right.

 

Other things that have changed since 2004?  My ass is gone and has afixed itself to my gut.  Fabulous.



 

All in all, our time on the boat was GREAT.  We laid in the sun, we shopped, we ate, and I even took a nap every.single.day.  That's what you call bliss my friends. 

 

 

Thanks.

I wanted to write not one but two posts encompassing everything I'm thankful for this year.  Because, let me tell YOU, it's been one heck of a year.  I'm blessed, lucky, fortunate, however you choose to look at it.  I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Life has happened though.  The kids and I will be spending Thanksgiving with my family in Arkansas and are leaving tonight.  (It's just the kids and I because Eddie has to work on Turkey Day.  SAD FACE).  We got back home late Saturday and I've spent the past couple days with children steady trying to crawl back in my body -- all while trying to unpack, do laundry, and get back in the swing of things because, HEY HEFFA, YOU AREN'T IN MEXICO ANYMORE (again, SAD FACE).

So there aren't two entries filled with prose-y stanzas.  Instead there is one full of cliche and lots of "DUH" moments.  But I couldn't let the season, this holiday, pass without taking a few minutes to write down all the things in my life that I'm so thankful for that I could just burst.

The other night we were eating TV dinner fettuccine alfredo for dinner.  Jaidan produced a few wooden skewers, handed a couple to his brother, and anounced that the two of them would be eating dinner with "chopsticks."  I suppose if I was a different type of mother I would've stopped them.  I mean, those things were sharp and we're talking about a six-year-old and four-year-old boy which means there was always the potential for a table-side sword fight.  But I allowed them to continue and laughed while they stabbed those noodles with the skewers and folded that memory up and put it in the little treasure chest in my mind so that I can pull it out when they're older and laugh with them about it.  I love how wonderfully weird my children are.  I love how, in their minds, a toolbox doubles as a treasure chest and how at least one of them has applied sunscreen (two hours after dark and when it was about 50 degrees outside) because he was "sweating."  I'm so thankful for my children -- for their innocence, for their weird, for the fun they bring into my life.

I'm thankful I have two boys -- and that my two boys have each other.  And I'm also thankful I have a little girl and that my daughter has a sister.  I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without the chaos that is four children under this roof.  And, oh my goodness, how thankful am I that every single one of these children is healthy?  The chaos and the noise and the "COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN FOR JUST ONE MINUTE" is a sign that these children are well and healthy and whole.  And I could just end my thankful list right there because that's so much  more than what most people have and I could not ask for more.

I'm thankful that I have a husband who will buy tampons and even come in and tell me that he selected a particular brand because of how shiny and colorful the box was.  I'm thankful that last week, on our cruise, I was only mildly annoyed with him a couple times and never once felt the urge to throw him overboard.  I'm thankful that he works hard to provide for me and for our children and I'm thankful that his job allows me to stay home with our children right now when they're so young.  I'm thankful he and I see eye-to-eye on politics, that he does his own laundry, and that several years ago I decided to give him a chance even though UGH I was SO OVER MEN.

I'm thankful that I come from a very close family.  I'm thankful that my mom is my mom and my grandma is my grandma and sometimes I'm even thankful that my brother is my brother.  *Wink*  I never got a sister but the closest thing I have to one is my cousin Storme and, man, am I thankful I get to see her this week for the first time in six months!

I have the best girlfriends ever.  Hands down.  Don't bother arguing with me.  I wish they lived closer but it's cool because at least I get to have them in my life and have them as MY friends.

My little family has been so fortunate to be able to travel a lot this year and I can't even begin to express in words how grateful I am for the experiences we've had.  I love this country and I am so thankful to have been "Born in the USA."  We may not be in our best days right now, there might be a thing or two that I wish were different about our nation, but I always have been and always will be proud to be an American.  I'm thankful to come from a country that's as diverse and colorful as it is beautiful and awe-inspring. 

I am thankful for the roof over my head and, even though the living room walls are baby poop yellow and the kitchen needs a good updating, that my children get to grow up in a pretty house in a nice neighborhood with friends who live down the street.  I appreciate that we don't have to worry about where our next meal is going to come from or how we are going to manage shoes and clothes for our family.  We are so fortunate and so blessed.  So  many people in this world don't have those little things that we tend to take for granted on a daily basis.

I could go on to list a whole bunch of other possibly trivial and definitely materialistic things.  (Coke Zero, wine, whoever decided to stuff a jalapeno pepper with cheese, bread it and deep fry it, 90's on 9, college football, my iPad, the internet -- just to name a few).  But mostly my list of thankful comes down to what most of us are most thankful for: family, health, friends, food, clothing, and shelter.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

It Was Like a Really Good Zac Brown Band Song - Featuring Jimmy Buffett - While it Lasted

I'm a big believer in positive thinking.  Attitude is everything right?  If you go into something thinking that it's going to suck then chances are, yeah, it's gonna blow.  When we were in California over the summer, I wanted to eat at Del Taco.  I'd eaten there when I was pregnant with Karis and OMG BEST TACOS EVAHHHH.  I had to try them again, you know, just to see if the euphoria over the tacos was pregnancy-based.  The kids, however, wanted Taco Bell and were being total brat-faced a-holes about the whole thing.  We went to Del Taco and they'd already made up their minds that they weren't going to like it.  And guess what?  Yeah.  They claimed not to like it.  (Not that you really care a whole lot, but they were definitely not OMG BEST TACOS EVAHHHH but they were better than Taco Bell.  End of story).  Their attitude totally set the the tone for the meal.  It's like that with most things in life.

Going into this trip I was trying my best to be cautiously optimistic.  I wanted to go in with a positive attitude that we'd have a great time but I also didn't want to have the trip so built up in my mind that the actual event couldn't begin to compare to what was in my head.  Optimistic but also realistic. 

And . . . in the end . . . we had such a super great, fabulous, awesome time.  On the way home, we were listing the good with the bad and it was like the two lists didn't even begin to compare.  We weren't even out of the Mississippi River and into international waters when Eddie was proclaiming that we would, most definitely, be cruising again.  (Now, who wants to keep my kids so we can go?!?)  Things only got better from there.  It was just an all around awesome trip.  I've been really fortunate in that I've been able to travel a lot this year and, I've got to say, this trip -- just me and the husband, no kids (though I did miss them so much that we came back a day early!) -- was quite possibly the best.  That "the best" might also have something to do with a couple of open bars . . . just sayin' . . .

I will write more about my trip in full next week.  This week is turkey and dressing and pie and Black Friday shopping and football and the kids and I are going to spend a few days with my family.  Sort of surreal considering last week I was toes in the water, ass in the sand.

There Will Be No "Easy" in the Big Easy This Time Around

When we were initially booking this cruise, it was pretty much a given that we'd port of New Orleans.  The proximity to Memphis was obviously the biggest draw.  I also have friends in the area.  And, hello, it's only my FAVORITE CITY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.  And the food there?  OMG, ya'll.  Oh.Em.Gee. 

The other day, though, I told my girlfriends that as excited as I was about the trip and hitting up NOLA again, I kinda wish I was going with them rather than the husband.  Yeah.  I KNOW.  #badwife.  I get it.  The thing is -- I feel like New Orleans is for my girlfriends.  Eddie and I have never been there together and it just feels a little . . . I dunno, weird?  I'm going with someone who would be mortified if I wore a tutu on Bourbon Street and also wouldn't so much appreciate taking pictures of me with random dudes and would be all, "what're you DOING?" if I held hands with the cab driver and skipped down the street.  Please don't misunderstand: my husband is fun.  He's just not girly fun.  Which is probably why I married him.  But I digress.  The man doesn't even like oysters, ya'll!  Me, him, and New Orleans?  There might be a problem.

Let me give you a little example.  Saturday night he asked me to check and see what places had specials for Veteran's Day.  I read a few off to him and then told him O'Charley's had one but it was Monday only.  So, we really like O'Charley's.  O'Charley's is cool for a Friday afternoon in Memphis when you want to eat somewhere two miles from your house. 

Him: "O'Charley's?  I can just pick up something there in New Orleans.  Before we get on the boat."
Me (mortified): "WHAT?  You cannot eat O'Charley's in New Orleans!  You eat NEW ORLEANS in New Orleans.  Oh my gosh. I cannot even BELIEVE you right now."  (No, matter of fact, I'm NOT a drama queen but thanks for asking).
Him: "Heh?  It's free food!  I'm saving money."
Me: "You're saving TEN DOLLARS.  Ten!  And at what cost?"

All I can say is this: the New Orleans portion of our trip is going to be pretty interesting if I'm all "muffaletta!" and "po' boy!" and "alligator sausage!" and "oysters rockafeller!" and he's all "chicken tenders!"

And, just for fun, I'll leave you with a favorite from my NOLA 2012: Girlfriends Edition trip:

Honeymoon: Take One

Today the husband and I are here:

{Source}

And I'm probably humming "toes in the water, ass in the sand" while my toes ARE in the water and my ass IS in the sand.  And I'm probably missing my kids but still not wanting to leave that little bit of paradise.  Ahhhh.

Since we're on Honeymoon: Take Two, I thought I'd use today to share a few pictures from our Honeymoon: Take One.

Four years ago, right around this time of year, we spent a few days in southern California and Las Vegas.  We spent a night in Hollywood, went to Knott's Berry Farm, saw the sights of Vegas, caught a Clippers game, and checked out the Santa Monica Pier.

Knott's Berry Farm

While we were here - at an amusement park sans kids! - I drug Eddie on every single roller coaster and thrill ride they had.  It was the last time I rode a roller coaster that didn't have cars shaped like shoes or feature Goofy.  Sigh.

 

Oh, Vegas.  I heart you.

 

 

We drove from Vegas to LA the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  Biggest mistake ever.  HOLY TRAFFIC, BATMAN.  I spent the time taking roughly 934923092 pictures through the Mojave Desert.

 

Clippers game!

 

At the Staples Center

 

Our last night, we still hadn't made it to the ocean.  I had seen Wilshire Blvd and the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  I had eaten an In-n-Out burger (sorry, California folk but NO THANK YOU) and Roscoe's chicken and waffles.  I had experienced LA traffic.  But I hadn't dipped my toes in the Pacific and I wasn't going home until I did.  Even though we only had a few hours until we had to catch our plane, we made our way over to the Santa Monica Pier and I was finally able to say I'd been to the Pacific Ocean!





 

Now, here's hoping for this trip we've managed to get more pictures of the two of us together!

But. But. But. What Happened to Thanksgiving?

I love Black Friday.

LOVE it.

I am a cheap bitch and I appreciate a good deal like you don't EVEN know.  I enjoy the "thrill of the hunt" when it comes to shopping and I live for the hype of Black Friday.  Hands down, one of my very favorite days of the year.  No lie.

This year, though?

I'm not happy.

At all.

Ugh.

It's called Black Friday.  That means those deals we go and push and shove and elbow and act all crazy over should happen on FRIDAY.  Last year Walmart started their sale at 10:00.  Okay.  Not great or anything but, meh, it was okay.  At least the kids were in bed and all, right?  This year they are starting at 8:00 Thanksgiving night.  8:00!  That's not okay, ya'll.

I'm so beyond irritated about this.

It's like our commercialism has moved to the point that we're infringing on the one holiday that we've been able to commercialize the least.  Thanksgiving is family and food and football with the centerpiece of the whole thing being able to enjoy the people we love the most in the world.  And now greed and consumerism is taking over that?  Um, no.  Hell no.

My mom and I have been doing Black Friday shopping for years (though last year I was in Dallas and went with a friend).  Just two or three years ago, the stores were opening at 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning.  I can remember the first year Kohl's and Penney's opened at 4:00 and people were all "bitch please."  Apparently we didn't "bitch please" enough because now we've moved the time up by eight hours and you know what?  It's just not okay.

I still plan on Black Friday shopping this year but I WON'T be there at 8:00 and I WON'T let it infringe one me enjoying the holiday with my family.

It Happened This Week

!!!!!!

The husband person and I are leaving this afternoon.  Destination: New Orleans . . . i.e. favorite American city EVER.  And.  AND!  Tomorrow afternoon we'll prepare for some "bon voyage" and I'll be totally annoying Eddie by constantly proclaiming, "I'm on a boat!"  And.  AND!  Just a few short days from now I'll be knee deep in the water somewhere.

My plans for this vacation include the following: sleeping, eating, laying on the deck in the sun, sleeping, eating, putting the world away for a minute, sleeping, eating, sleeping, aforementioned being knee deep in the water somewhere, sleeping, and eating. 

I'm not sure what I'm more excited about.  The sleeping or the eating.  On the one hand, I have three children and yesterday morning the small girly one woke me up at 6:30 a.m. by putting her cold feet (which had been sock-covered when she went to bed) on me.  On the other hand - -FOOD.  'Nuff said.

In retrospect, planning this trip a week before Thanksgiving probably wasn't the best idea in the world when it comes to gaining weight and all that.  The best idea, of course, would've been to leave this past week.  Because, ya'll?  If I have to hear one more rant about the election, Imma kick a kitten.  A cute and cuddly one. 

A look at the week that was.  By the way -- I was way lazy in my picture taking this week.  Some of these, well, the kids are cute but the actual photos look like they were taken with a disposable cira 1996.  Just sayin'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. -- I am literally putting the world away for a minute.  No wifi, no 3G, no nothing like that from mid-Monday to early Saturday.  I have a few posts scheduled for during the week though!

Thursday Things

1) I grew up in a very political household.  My dad especially was pretty politically charged.  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I have some definite opinions when it comes to politics and Eddie and I both try to make sure that our children understand just how important it is to vote and make their voice heard.  As a result, Jaidan and Z thought we needed an "election party" Tuesday night.

I couldn't help but think that my dad would have smiled a little at the thought - though he was probably turning over in his grave knowing the way I voted! 

The "party" got off to a rocky start when Romney took an early lead and Jaidan urged Eddie and I to "go vote again!"  We were, obviously, pleased with the outcome of the presidential election.  I know that people have a lot of feelings on the subject so that's all I'm going to say about that.

HOWEVER.  I do want to say that I was ecstatic to realize the turn around we had from four years ago.  I remember the elation of Obama being elected only to be disappointed that California had turned down their gay marriage prop.  This time around, though, four states - FOUR! - took steps toward approving gay marriage.  Um, AWESOME.  As someone whose marriage would've been illegal a couple generations ago, it's very VERY important to me that no one's civil rights are decided upon by anyone else's religious beliefs.  And, whew, let me climb down from my soapbox . . .

2) I know that my children will be in good hands while Eddie and I are gone next week but I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of leaving them.  I've never been away from them for so long and the only time Eddie and I were ever away from them longer than overnight, Kyan was still an infant and Jaidan was barely two!  I know they are going to be in good hands and I know they're probably going to really enjoy this week of Mommy and Daddy being away.  But I'm still feeling all kinds of YIKES over the whole thing.

Also, it's really, really overhwelming trying to get your shit together for someone else to come and take over your house for a full week!

3) All that being said -- just FOUR days until we sail out.  Four!  And, not only that, but I have big plans to get some beignets before we ever step foot on that boat.  And even bigger plans to introduce Eddie to one of my greatest NOLA loves - Franks - at some point on this trip. 

4) Remember several months ago when that whack-a-doo lady in England wrote the article about how hard it was being a devastatingly beautiful woman?  Like, women hated her and, man, was it a HUGE cross to bear -- all that male attention with free drinks and offering to buy her dinner and stuff.  I have no idea how she feels.  I am not devastatingly beautiful.  But I do know how it feels to be not-repulsive and, in the past week, that's meant getting hit on by the one-eyed pizza delivery guy AND a single dad at the mall play area.  Mama is on feee-ire, ya'll.

5) Karis seems to go through phases as to who is her favorite amongst her siblings.  These days, it tends to be Jaidan (or, as she likes to call him, Jai-nan KAI).  Approxomately 23904203 times a day we hear her yell, "Jai-nan KAI, Come here!"  And when he's not home it's more along the lines of, "Hold on Jai-nan KAI, we comin'!"  I realize that since she's not your kid you have no idea why I just told you any of that.  But, dang, she's my kid and therefore I find it at least 19 different kinds of adorable.

6) My kids made a "thankful turkey" the other day and every day they are writing down what they're thankful for.  I did something like this with my kids when I worked an after school program many moons ago so I already know that kids can say some fun and off the wall things.  Amongst the funnier things my kids have been thankful for this week: skeletons, Santa Claus, turkeys, and the other day all Karis would tell me was "I like to move it, move it.  I like to shake it, shake it."  I'm taking that to mean the Madagascar movies.

7) So by Tuesday I was thinking I made this time change my biiiiiitch.  My kids got up early (of course!) Sunday morning but I made them all take naps that afternoon.  As a result, they weren't wanting to go to bed super early that evening.  Monday morning and Tuesday morning we were all on our regular schedule.  Then Wednesday morning every single one of the kids was up an hour early.  The heck?  Time change?  Suck it.

8) I am so over The Voice coming between me and all my NBC shows.  Yes, Adam Levine is mmm mmm mmm *fans self*  But, come on, I want to watch Parenthood and SVU and The New Normal and all my Thursday night shows.  Is that too much to ask?  Is it?

9) I watched Jerry Maguire last night which means there's a pretty good chance I'm going to go around today yelling, "Show me the money!" and "I love black people!"

10)  You go Betty.  You go.

What I Learned from Election 2012: People are Assholes (I Mean I Already Knew That but COME ON)

I originally planned on posting something I wrote the day after election 2008.  You can read it here if you want, on my now-defunct family blog.  The main reason I chose not to make a post on it today is because it's seriously laughable how much importance I placed on race -- how I thought, four years ago, that my boys today - at ages six and four - would be able to realize that Barack Obama has the same color skin as they do, how it would be important to them, that sort of thing.  As it is, Obama is the only president they've ever really known and, due to the very diverse area we live in, race and being an interracial family are pretty much just non-issues.

ANYWAY.  All that said.  I figured election day would be a good time for me to rant about what I've learned from this election.

Here it is.

People are assholes.

Yeah.  We already knew that.  But, damn, if this year's election didn't bring out the assholery in full-motherloving-force. 

Politics have been contentious since the beginning of time.  I can remember my dad and aunt fighting in the middle of Texas stadium over the 2000 election.  But this election it seems more crazy than ever before.  Where do we place the blame?  Let's start with Mark Zuckerberg.  Facebook. Twitter. Blogs.  Social Media in general.

Social media is more of a force in our lives than it's ever been before.  I can't log in to Facebook at all without seeing some jackass spewing a hateful opinion, trying to pass it off as fact.  I can't read blogs without seeing comments that make me want to pull every single hair out of my head.  I'm glad that I just plain stay away from Twitter because I'm sure I'd be kicking baby kittens left and right.

My Facebook friends list is probably 80% conservative Republican.  I'm not.  At all.  This was my fourth presidential election and in all but one of those elections I've voted for the Democrat candidate.  Most of my social beliefs are quite liberal.  Do I wish more people felt the way I do, voted the way I do?  Absolutely!   But, dude, that's not going to happen and I GET it.  I don't expect all of my friends to share my political beliefs.  I may give someone the side eye when they "like" a status from Donald Trump (because, really?  Donald Trump?) but, really, I don't base how I feel about YOU on your politics.

It's how you express your political beliefs.  That's what I'm sitting over here rolling my eyes and judging your ass on.

"All Democrats are evil!"
"If you're against abortion then you're against women!"
"You can't be liberal AND a Christian."
"Republicans are ignorant."
"Voting for Obama is a vote against America!"

Seriously, people, SHUT UP.  Vote the way you want to vote.  Encourage people to vote for your candidate.  But DO IT WITHOUT BEING AN ASSHOLE.  Lumping all people who vote for one political party together, referring to anyone who votes for so-and-so as ignorant, claiming you'll leave the country if That Guy wins the election?  Yeah, that makes you an asshole.  STOP DOING IT.

Now, we only have hours left in this election season.  Let's all hold hands, sing kumbaya, and pray that we don't have a repeat of 2000 and, before midnight, we know who'll be leading our country for the next four years.

Then let's all shut up about it.  K?  K.

The Moments

My name is Brandi and I'm about to get all kinds of corny up in here (up in here).

Parenting can really suck sometimes.  I don't have any problem admitting that because it's the God's honest truth and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.  Or themselves.  I know that, in the grand scheme of things, three - sometimes four - children is nothing.  I mean, the Duggars have nearly five times as many children as I do.  But I'm firmly of the belief that however many children you have, regardless of it's one or nineteen, there are times when it's just too many kids.  Children can be so stressful!  Not to mention the fact that you're charged with shaping and molding a person.  Hey, yeah, that's not like A WHOLE LOT OF EFFING PRESSURE or anything.

So many people seem to think that having kids means decorating a nursery and watching Disney movies.  And it is.  Approxomately 0.0389% of the time.  The rest of the time is spent changing diapers and cutting crusts off sandwiches and yelling at telling them to QUIT JUMPING ON THE BED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and promising to dance around like a chicken if they'll take their cough medicine and getting all teary-eyed because they tell you they don't like you and having to stop and count to ten because, oh sweet baby Jesus, Mr. Picky Pants is once again turning up his nose at what you cooked for dinner.  My oldest kid is only six -- I don't even want to think about the reality of parenting once any of my kids hit their teen years!

If I've learned anything in the past six years it's that there WILL be moments when you look at your kid and mutter "bitch please" under your breath.  And there WILL be moments when you have to walk in the other room and mutter every obscentity you can think of under your breath.  And there WILL be moments when consuming an entire bottle of wine in one sitting is acceptable because OH.EM.GEE.  But you know what outweighs all that?  The Moments.  The reasons we have children in the first place.  The Moments that make up for all the attitude and all the unrolling toilet paper all over your bathroom and all the yellow crayon on your living room wall.

For example --

Last Sunday, we were headed to the school playground.  It was me and Karis, the boys, and their little friend who lives down the street.  I have a feeling it was the presence of their friend -- he generally doesn't join us on our trips to the playground -- that boosted the mood.  Whatever it was, Kyan called out over his shoulder, "Mommy!  This is the BEST DAY EVER!"  Man.  Don't you wish you could be four again?  When a trip to the school playground with a friend and your brother and your mom and your baby sister is grounds for being called "the best day ever?"

This:

Jaidan got a citizenship award at school!  I know, I know, I know.  I've gone on about this a lot.  But, man, am I proud of my kid!

The other day, I was trying on dresses.  Kyan and Karis were in the dressing room with me.  I tried on one and Karis yelled, "Oh Mommy!  So pwet-ee!"  I melted and then I died and then I melted again. 

Speaking of compliments, Kyan is all about them.  He is constantly telling women and girls how "cute" they are while he'll be sure to tell guys that they are cool or have a cool shirt or something of that nature.  He is also my biggest cheerleader.  While I'm fixing dinner he'll tell me, "Mommy, you're a really great cooker!"  If I'm straightening up, it's something along the lines of "You sure do a good job of cleaning up!" 

About a week ago, I was trying to sneak in a workout while the kids were awake.  Ha!  This one perched herself over my bike and sang to me.  "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Happy Birthday."

It's very rare that I get to walk Jaidan to school without bringing the other kids along with.  I really enjoy having that one-on-one time with him, even if it is just a few minutes.  We talk about whatever and he doesn't have to worry about sharing my attention with any of the other kids.  On this particular day I took our picture because it looked like I was walking Darth Vader to school.

The other night, Jaidan was laying in my bed with me (it was when he was sick).  He was telling me all about who he is going to be when he grows up.  He wants to be a fireman and have two kids, or maybe four, but he definitely wants a girl named Ally Smith.  It was such a sweet moment, proof that my boy is growing up (he already has a name for a future child picked out!  I understand that this will change 234823832 times before children; the whole changing-of-the-mind thing is one [of many] reasons I don't have a daughter named Lanie Jade).

And my very favorite of The Moments . . .

Weekday mornings are spent trying to get everyone up and around, fielding 3482839 meanless questions, fixing lunch, rushing out the door.  So on weekends the kids all climb in my bed with me and we lay around, snuggle, maybe watch some TV until someone starts demanding breakfast (or I have to pee -- whichever comes first).  The best hour or half hour of our weekend.

It Happened This Week

Three reasons I'd rather be writing this next Sunday:

1) Eddie and I will be headed to New Orleans in preparation to catch a boat!
2) The election will (hopefully, oh please God, no repeat of 2000) be over.  Even if we don't have a clear presidential winner, you know what we will have?  An end to the ads.  Let me tell you, peeps, living in a tri-state area during election time is awesome.  *Blinks*  (P.S. Mississippi politicians -- doooods.  You've outnumbered Tennessee and Arkansas politicians by like four ads to every one of theirs.  CHILL).
3) I won't be dealing with the ramifications of the dreaded Time Change.

I'm not sure which I'm more excited about.  But since I'm dealing with the Time Change, right here, at this very moment, let's talk about it.

I read a blog post the othe day that was all, "OMG, you haterzzzz, quit being SO MEAN to the time change!  You get a free hour!  Do something with it!  Watch a movie!"  To which I'd like to reply with something like "shut up" or "bite me" or "let's take that extra hour and stick it up your . . . "

Seriously, though, watch a movie?  With an hour?  The only movies that last an hour are the kind that come on Nickelodeon and usually star the My Little Ponies.  NO THANK YOU.

That "extra hour" at my house generally means the same amount of sleep but that doesn't mean shit when you look at the clock and realize that it's an ungodly hour -- an ungodly hour that's an hour earlier than the ungodly hour your little cretins normally awaken you.  I'm going to be grumpy today.  I know it.

A look at our week:

I went on Monday and bought Jaidan a new coat.

Yesterday it was 85* outside.  Figures.