Thursday Things

1) My dishwasher went out August of 2010.  August of two thousand TEN, peeps.  Two years ago.  We bought a new dishwasher shortly after.  Eddie and a friend installed it and, er, it didn't exactly, you know, work.  So I've been without a dishwasher for TWO YEARS.  Two years, people!  No matter that I spent at least the first 18 years of my life without one.  There are routinely six people in this house.  Do you know how many dishes six people can generate?  And *I* was having to hand wash all those.  No wonder my grandma hands look even more grandma-ish.

But.

As of last Friday, this bad boy has been installed - and working! - in my kitchen:

2) Conversation between Eddie and Kyan the other night:
E: What do you want to be when you grow up?
K: I want to drink grown up drinks.
E: But what do you want to BE?  For work?  What do you want to do?
K: Just drink grown up drinks.  That's all.
E: So you want to be a wino? A bum?  No!  You don't want to be a bum.
K: I do.  I'll be a bum.
E: Bums don't work and they don't have any money.  What are you going to do without any money?
K: Ask Mommy for some.

There you have it.  My four-year-old wants to grow up to be an alcoholic who mooches off of me.  Awesome.

3) Karis is pretty much (day time) potty trained.  I haven't tried taking her in public - other than to take Jaidan to or pick him up from school - without a diaper.  But when we're at home, she's really good about going on the potty.  It's honestly taken a little longer than I anticipated but she IS only two.

4) #photoadayaug pictures from the past week:

8/23 - Pair

8/24 - Path

8/ 25 - Fresh (Beat Band)

8/26 - Dream

8/27 - Tap

8/28 - Clock

8/29 - Down

5) It looks like Isaac will be making his way to my part of the country - in form of tornados and flooding and torential downpours - starting this evening.  Eeek!  I'm thankful that we shouldn't have things anywhere near as bad as on the Louisianna and Mississippi gulf coasts.  But, as much as I love some good thunder boomers, it scares me to think of bad weather while Jaidan is at school and away from me.  :/

6) Speaking of Jaidan and school -- third week of school and we ALREADY have a fundraiser.  Sigh.  He's selling Yankee candles so at least it's something that's fairly usefull but, dang, if those things aren't kinda pricey!

7) I'm trying to lose five pounds before I leave for Vegas (I'll be laying by a pool or pulverizing a buffet exactly one month from right now!).  So how did THIS end up in my cart at the grocery store?

8)We bought a new mattress set yesterday!  Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, it'll be so nice to wake up in the morning and not feel like an 80-year-old woman.  We don't get it delivered until next Tuesday (boo) but I'm kind of okay with that because we got such a fantasticly awesome deal on it. 

9) This weekend is the BEST WEEKEND OF THE ENTIRE YEAR.  The best.  Better than Christmas and Halloween all rolled into one.  It is . . . college football kickoff weekend!  Can I get a Woo Pig Soiee?!? 

10)

This has been especially true this week - it has been SO incredibly HUMID.  Ugh.

They Really Need a Parental Dress Code and Other Observations from the Mother of a First Timer

I used to work at a school.  Well,  I worked the after school program but I also some times did substitute teaching.  So I obviously didn't know about everything when it came to the inner-workings of the school system but I did know a lot.  Like, for instance, teachers gossip.  A lot.  I'm talking the lounge is like the popular girl's lunch table in the junior high school.  When Jaidan was getting ready to go to school I was all, "For the love! PLEASE be good.  Be good for your teacher and be good NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL.  Because, dude, the future of all Walker children in this school depends on YOU and how YOU act THIS year.  Even the FIFTH GRADE teachers are watching and they're not going to want you or your brother or your sister in their class if you're a straight up asshole."

Anyway.  This is my first year having a child in school so this is the first time I've really seen, paid attention to, whatever the whole parent angle of it.  And, people.  Lard.

Some observations:

1) When are they going to come up with a dress code for what you can wear to take your kids to school?  I'm not talking about dropping them off where you sit, all nice and cool in the AC of your overpriced, gas-guzzling SUV.  If you stay in the car, then I could care less if you take them to school naked.  Your perogative.  But these people who walk their kids to school or, at least, get out of the car and walk the kid into the building -- they are the ones I'm talking about.  I've seen more booty shorts in the past three weeks than I ever thought possible.  Which also means I've seen miles of cellulite.  Dimples might be cute on your kindergartener.  The ones on your legs?  Notsocute.  (I feel like I can speak like this because I too have cellulite.  My cellulite has cellulite.  But.  Know what?  I COVER THAT SHIT UP WHEN I TAKE MY KID TO SCHOOL).  If you want to roll out of bed and walk your kid to school in your PJ's then START SLEEPING IN YOGA PANTS. 

At the total other end of the "booty shorts" spectrum are these parents who kind of . . . dress up . . . to take their kids to school.  It's one thing if they're going to work after drop off.  But, some of these, well they aren't wearing those get ups to work unless they're swinging on a pole.  And, in that case, I'm doubtful they'll be invited to career day.  I guess I never realized that elementary school drop off could be considered a meat market which is what some of these parents seem to have in mind.  Welcome to Memphis, ya'll.

I never thought I would feel both overdressed AND underdressed by sporting my yoga-pants-and-tank-top uniform.

2) Dads are WAY more involved than they were when I was in school.  Way.  Now, my dad went to many a parent teacher conference and was involved in that way.  But these days dads are doing things like going into a work a little late to see their kids off on their first day of school.  On J's first day of school, there were just five kids in the class when we got there and FOUR dads -- two of them with fancy cameras out to snap pictures of their little ones.  Drop off and pick up is pretty much a 50/50 split between moms and dads.  The kindergarten meeting we went to a couple weeks ago, there were just as many dads there as moms.  I'm not trying to sound like I'm stereotyping dads as being the more hands-off parents.  I'm just saying they are more active than they were when I was in school.  And I think it.is.awesome.

3) Some of these dads are hot.

4) A dad wearing his younger child in a baby carrier while walking older child to school is automatically ten times hotter.  *Fans self*

Okay.  So maybe I didn't have a ton of observations to share.  And maybe I really just wanted to rant about all the booty shorts I've seen the past few weeks.  And maybe I wanted to talk just a little bit about the hottie dads.  But, there you have it, just a few observations about the Elementary School Parent from a brand new Elementary School Parent.  I'm sure there will be many, many, many more to come.

An Open Invitation to Prince Harry

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It Happened This Week

Want to know what happened the past couple weeks?

My boy grew up.  That's what happened.

Kindergarten was one thing.  It was expected and prepared for and I knew it was coming.  This other stuff, though, notsomuch.

The boy went on his ever sleepover last night.  His first ever SLEEPOVER.  He slept at the house of someone that wasn't a family member!  I'm pretty sure the only people he's ever spent the night with previous to this were related to him.  And I'm also pretty sure I can count them all on one hand. 

Now he's spending the night and has this whole gaggle of little kindergarten friends and tells me not to do stuff because it'll make him look "not cool" and WHERE DID MY FATTEST BABY EVER GO? 

Somebody hold me.

Sunday 8/12:

Monday 8/13:

Tuesday 8/14:

Wednesday 8/15:

Thursday 8/16:

The date is wrong on this one (and the next one) but I was too lazy to make changes.

Friday 8/17:

Saturday 8/18:

Sunday 8/19:

Monday 8/20:

Tuesday 8/21:

Wednesday 8/22:

Thursday 8/23:

Friday 8/24:



Saturday 8/25:

 

So Very Pinteresting

I saw this on Pinterest the other day:

Yeah.  Totally my running theme for Pinterest projects this week.

Yummies:

Oven Baked Meatball Subs - Okay, these are totally easy.  Meatballs, sauce, sub bread, cheese.  Oven until cheese melts.  HOW CAN YOU MESS THEM UP?  Apparently, you can.  Or at least I can.  Because I did.  They were edible and all, I suppose, but the bottom of the bread was soggy.  And, as my friend Brittney said, there's nothing worse than a soggy bottom.  I didn't have much success with meatball sub casserole either.  So I'm thinking I'm out of the meatball sub business.

Eggplant Parmigiana - This is not a food I grew up eating.  But I tried eggplant parmigana at one point and really liked it.  Since making this dish, I decided I must've been really drunk when I tried it.  Ya'll.  NOT GOOD.  NOT GOOD AT ALL.  I was so disappointed because I wanted to love it.  Not only that, but I tried to trick Kyan into eating it (by telling him it was chicken) and ended up with a four-year-old who was pretty furious with me.  And I can't say I blame him . . .

Kid Stuff:

Bouncy Balls - The reason - pretty much the ONLIEST reason - I searched high and low (Walmart and Target both, ya'll) for Borax was to make these stupid balls.  The first time we went to make them I realized I was out of corn starch so we made Gak instead and guess what?  I'm still finding Gak in places you don't wanna find Gak.  Ugh.  I finally managed to have all needed ingredients at the same time so Kyan and I set out to  make these earlier this week.  I'll let the picture do the talking:

THAT is not a ball.
THAT is a handfull of GOOP.

In the interest of full disclosure I had one friend that they worked fine for and another that found them to be a little dry.  I have no idea what happened to mine!  Totally NAILED IT though!

Summer Reading List: Big Asses, The Tenth Circle, and a Little Bit of Sweet Valley

Before we begin with the books, I just hafta say one thing:

PRINCE HARRY NAKED?  IN VEGAS?

Harry, Harry, Harry!  While it still sort of pisses me off that you came out the hottie prince (I was totes #teamwills as a teenager back before hashtags were even a thing), you ARE in fact the hottie prince.  And if you're going to be stripping down in Vegas and being an embarrassment to the throne all the while endearing yourselves to everyone else in the world, you could have at least had the decency to strip down next month WHEN I AM THERE. 

Also, this little race you had with Ryan Lochte?  Totally could've waited another month.  Totally.  Seriously, why don't you guys rematch in September then we can all retire to your penthouse and play strip billiards while you charm us all with your accent.  Kthanksbye.

Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why do They Live Next Door to Me by Jen Lancaster - Okay, people, you know I totally have a girl crush on Ms. Lancaster.  I loved Such a Pretty Fat and Bitter is the New Black.  Loved them.  This one though?  Ya'll.  I couldn't even finish it.  Parts of it were funny but most of it was just . . . painful . . . to read.  Like, I feel like she should give me the WEEK I wasted just TRYING to navigate my way through this thing.

Normally, in a book review, I would reserve the second paragraph for telling you a synopsis of the book.  Here's the problem with Big Ass: I have NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS ABOUT.  Presumeably, according to the descriptions you see on Amazon and Good Reads, it's supposed to be about Ms. Lancaster's (she's totes Ms. Lancaster and not BFF Jen Jen after this book) life in the city.  Only.  It was just her . . . I don't even know . . . whining and complaining and carrying on and hating everyone.

Lancaster got off on the wrong foot with me in the very first chapter when she describes an interview for a temp job.  Her interviewer was very Texan and kept saying "y'all" when talking to Jen and only to Jenn.  Hi.  I'm from the south.  I have lived in Texas.  I'm 32 years old and have never EVER heard someone use "y'all" in the singular.  It just does not happen.  Nitpicky?  Yes.  But it bugged me.

As I got further in the book . . . oh, this is painful to write.  Not only does Lancaster ADMIT to reading Ann Coulter but she actually admits to wanting to have a sleepover with this horrible woman.  I'm not fickle enough to let something like that be the only reason I quit reading a book.  I "like" Lancaster's Facebook page so I arrrdy done knew she was pretty conservative.  I love a whole lot of conservative people -- I may not agree with their political views but that's okay.  We're still cool.  But when you openly admit - in a book, that gets published, read by thousands! - that you want to have a sleepover with Ann Coulter.  Bitch, please.  We gotta rethink this relationship.  The book as a whole - or at least what I read of it (a little more than half) comes across as so bitchy and snobby that it was impossible to read.  Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult - This book received some pretty horrible reviews on Good Reads.    This was my first ever Jodi Picoult book and I'm thinking, if it received bad reviews, then her other books must be truly bad ass.  On a scale of five, I would give this one a three and a half.  It was dark and depressing and I wanted to stab someone with the way it ended.  But.  It caught and kept my attention.  I wanted to know what happened.  And that alone is the mark of a pretty darn good book.  In my opinion anyway.

The Tenth Circle tells us the story of the Stone family.  Dad Daniel grew up as the only white kid in a native Eskimo village in Alaska.  His rough childhood followed him into adulthood but remained something he kept hidden from his wife and daughter.  His wife, Laura, is a college professor participating in some, shall we say, extra cirricular activities with one of her students.  Daughter Trixie is 14, recently dumped by her first love, a cutter, and the book centers around the fact that she was raped at a party.  Yeah.  Not exactly a light little beach read, eh?

I could tick off a whole bunch of problems with the book.  Picoult doesn't delve deeply at all into Laura Stone's affair.  It's almost as if it shouldn't have even been included in the book.  Trixie Stone is very hard to feel sorry for as a victim and, as much as I didn't want to, there were times in the story where I almost sympathized with her rapist (a 16-year-old boy).  And maybe I'm just naive and things have changed a lot - a lot, a lot - in the decades since I was a 14-year-old girl - but the sexuality present in the book just seemed over the top.  I'm sure it's probably naitivite on my part but, as the mother of a baby girl and step mother of a girl not much younger that those in the book, I sincerely hope not.

All in all, this was a decent read.  I hated the ending but the story as a whole kept my attention and definitely made me want to pick up other Picoult novels.

 

The Sweet Life by Francine Pascal - Francine Pascal hates Elizabeth Wakefield.  And maybe Annie Whitman too.  I was always more of a Jessica fan (seriously, could Elizabeth have BEEN more of a goody-goody [I said that in my best Chandl-ah Bing voice]) but even I was totally put off with how old Francine just took a great big shit on Elizabeth's life.

 

The Sweet Life catches up with the Wakefields and an assortment of other Sweet Valley-ins three years after Sweet Valley Confidential.  Jessica and Todd, the parents of a toddler, are on the verge of divorce.  A rape scandal has Bruce Patman's career - and relationship with Elizabeth - in tatters.  Lila and Ken and Steven and Aaron have approxomately four chapters each devoted to them in the entire serial -- seemingly to give us a tiny glimpse of what's going on with them but not enough to develop a real storyline.  Oh, and Annie Whitman?  She's still Easy Annie.

 

There's not much to say without giving away the story and, if you're a Sweet Valley fan, then you're not going want me to do that.  It's cheesy.  It's campy.  You'll want to call Francine Pascal all kinds of colorful names once you reach the final chapter.  Pascal has said there won't be a continuation of the story but she definitely leaves room - and a lot of it - for a follow-up.  I'm not sure if I love Pascal for bringing the characters I loved so much back to me or if I hate her for what she did to them. 

Thursday Things

1) First week - first week! - of school and Jaidan brought home a nasty little summer cold with a sinus infection on the side. It's worked it's way through all of us and, for whatever reason, has decided to stay with me the longest.  I've had it since Sunday.  Thankfully, I no longer feel death warmed over.  Just plain old death.  I expected the kingergarten germies to descend on our house.  Just not so soon.

2) I feel like I'm missing out on something by not watching this Honey Boo Boo Child show. Am I?

3) When my brother was a kid, his teacher always complimented his good behavior. However, when he got home in the afternoons he was, like, the biggest asshole ever. My mom asked him what the deal-io was, how he could be so good at school and then turn around and be a jerkheaded assface (her words. Totally her words) at home. He told her he used up all his good at school. Apparently he taught this to his eldest nephew. Jaidan is good at school! Charming and a "delight," even! At home? I want to offer him up to gypsies or Jehovah Witnesses or republicans.

4) Eddie and I are looking for a new mattress. We're both tired of feeling about 75 years old upon waking in the mornings. We went mattress shopping the other day and discovered that you can no longer pick up a set for $500. Inflation, dudes. It's made its way into the bedroom. We, of course, each fell in love with totally different mattresses. Eddie liked a luxury one while I preferred the top of the line from a not-as-luxurious company. I told him it figures he would want the Cadillac while I preferred the Toyota.

5) It seems the further we get into the month of August, the more and more fall-themed pins make their way to Pinterest.  I don't know about you, but I LOVE looking at the fall fashion boards.  Ahhh.  Favorite:

{I can't link back to the source because it is an empty link}

Is this outfit not the cutest?  I love it!  And I think - think! - it's something I could maybe possibly actually pull it off.  Maybe.

6) This week's #photoadayaug pictures:

8/16 - Plate

8/17 - Faces

8/18 - Inside

8/19 - Hole

I took a picture for Monday (prompt was "today" and I took a pic of the mattresses we were looking at) but somehow it was no longer on my phone.  Hmph.

8/21- Cool

8/22 - Home

7) Speaking of home . . . we have a lot of repairs needed to be done.  We're replacing the roof (you can tell, from the picture, just how much this is needed!), repairing the window trim, fixing the fence, and getting a new front storm door.  It's amazing how much red tape is involved with an insurance claim.  We would like to get started yesterday but there is SO MUCH involved.  It makes my head hurt.  And makes me kindasorta wish we just rented.  :/

8) I feel like the month of August has just completely skipped me by.  I mean, seriously, it's ALREADY the 23rd?  Wasn't it just the first of, like, July?  It's crazy how fast this summer has sped right on by.

9) Unfortunately, we're already dealing with a kindergarten bully.  Sad face.  Luckily, Jaidan is the size of your average third grader so I have serious doubts that anyone will be physical with him.  But this kid, whom I've nicknamed Little Punk Ass, told my boy the other day that he was wearing "grandpa shoes."  Which, of course, meant that Jaidan refused to wear those particular shoes to school the next day.  Not only that, but according to Jaidan, Little Punk Ass punched another kid in the eye.  Yeah, you try to punch MY kid in the eye!  Little Punk Ass.

10)



Over It

I haven't done a bitching post in a while.  And by bitching I mean whine, whine, complain, complain.  I don't mean, "woah, dude, that's a totally bitchin' Camaro" type of bitching.  Does anyone even use "bitchin'" anymore?  If not, we totally need to bring that term back.  Bitchin' and the scrunchie.  Come baaaaaack.

Anyway.  Bitching. A few things I'm so totally over for 2012:
1) Zombies - I don't know if there is a word in the universe to conjure up the level of my disgust for the whole zombie phenomenon. It's stupid. Zombies are not real and when someone goes around munching on the face of another person, it's because they are HIGH ON DRUGS. And it's SAD. And it's NOT the stuff of jokes

Also, at the risk of sounding oversensitive, as someone who has suffered from the "flesh eating disease," I don't appreciate at all or in the least it being compared to a Zombie Apocalypse. People really die from it, y'all. Like, 40% of people who get it. They DIE. How is that funny?

2) Mustaches - They're in photo booths and you see brides wearing them in cheesy wedding pictures and a local kids pizza joint even did a big promotion centered around the mustache. Idea: let's let them go back to 1970's porn where they belong.

3) "Lifestyle" photography - For the love! Can we get back to the days when going to Sears and having your picture taken amongst a backdrop of fake Autumn leaves was the norm? How do people AFFORD this lifestyle photography? Believe me, I understand that quality family pics are a good investment. But I've seen some "mini sessions" where the photographers will charge upwards of $200 for a half hour of their time and something ridiculous like 10 images on a CD with a LIMITED copyright. And people DO this because why? It's the cool thing to do right now? Give me Portrait Innovations or give me death! (Dramatic much?)

4) The Fifty Shades Brouhaha - I know. You're so shocked to see this one, eh? People. They are poorly (horribly! Awfully!) written books about people who are NOT REAL. Christian Grey, much like Edward, Emmett, and Jasper Cullen, IS NOT REAL. You need not worry about a safe word because you will NEVER BE IN HIS TORTURE CHAMBER. And you will never been in his torture chamber because it's not real AND NEITHER IS HE.

5) Mommy Wars: Summer Edition - Every time warmer weather rolls around, the mommybot assholes get on their soapboxes about baby girls in bikinis. Look, I could care less what your kid wears in the pool. But do people not realize how stupid they look when they say something along the lines of, "not my daughter! Not until she's maybe 16 or 17!" Hey, asswipe,what does a 16 or 17 year old girl have that a three year old does not? Oh yeah. Assets that can be SHOWN OFF in a bikini. Duh. Brainiac.

And end the bitching.  What's bothering YOU right now?

Thursday Things

1) My friend Naz was in town this week.

We had not seen each other in four years!  Seriously, the last time we were together Kyan was just an itty bitty baby and Karis wasn't even supposed to happen at all!

We went where we always go when we have company: Rendezvous!  It never disappoints.  Ever.  I routinely tend to think that Memphis in general kinda sucks but then I remind myself that we really do have the best BBQ in the world.

2) The dress I'm wearing in the above pic is my new favorite.

Reason #92340923428 I'll never be a fashion blogger: I don't know how to edit out dirty laundry piles from behind me in pictures

Anyhow.  I love that dress.  Love it!  I was actually walking through the mall when I saw the dress on a manequin.  I'd never been in the store before (and I'm  totally spacing on the name now) because I thought it was probably too teeny bopperish.  I went in specifically for that dress.  And ended up discovering lots of cute clothes at good prices.  Love when that happens.

3) This is Jaidan's first week in his classroom with his teacher.  He got in timeout - along with several other kids in his class - on Monday and ended up missing part of his recess.  It must've really set him straight because, according to the teacher, he's been pretty much perfect since.  In fact, he was even picked to be line leader yesterday because of his good behavior.  I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of that little booger!  After the rough start on Monday, I was afraid we were going to be in for a long adjustment period.  But I think he's going to be a-ok.

4) I went to Victoria's Secret the other day looking for a strapless bra.  Yeah.  They can keep their $55 bras.  BUT.  While I was in there I found this:

Best $15 I've spent in a long time because

a) it was like 80% off the original price

b) it's a bathing suit top that gives me the appearance of having BOOBS

5) #photoadayaug pics for the week:

8/9 - Messy

8/10 - Ring

8/11 - Purple

8/12 - Spoon

8/13 - Simple

8/14 - Arrow

8/15 - Ready

6) The winner of the Creativity for Kids craft kits is *drum roll please* . . . Dusty! Congrats girl - and enjoy!

7) I'm going through withdrawls from the Olympics.  What do I waaaaatch now that they're over?  I'm so ready for college football.  And the return of all my favorite shows.  So, basically, I'm ready for fall.

8) Jaidan and Kyan have made friends with a little boy who lives down the street.  He's in kindergarten this year also (and, funny enough, the family also has a girl who is in seventh grade -- just like Z -- and a baby girl who is two.  Crazy!).  Once they are out of school, if Jaidan and Kyan aren't down at N's house then N is over here playing with the boys.  He even ate dinner with us the other night.  I'm so glad they have a friend, someone they can play with, who is just right here.

9) Have you seen Rich Kids of Instagram yet?  Some crazy ish!  I think every time a 15-year-old posts a picture of themself duck-facing with a bottle of Dom, they should be forced to spend an hour flipping through the Instagrams of a middle class Mommyblogger (i.e. what she had for breakfast, her feet, 2834283 pictures of her children with chocolate on their faces).  I'm just sayin'.

10) I big puffy heart this:

Problems in the 90's.

Word, brother.  Word.

This One Time, at Band Camp . . .

{Via}

I was 19 when the first American Pie movie came out.  I mentioned to my friend Frances that I wanted to see it and she responded with, "Brandi!  Do you know what that movie is ABOUT?" I don't remember who I went with but I saw the movie.  And since this was back in the Golden Era known as the 90's, where you could go to the movies without having to offer up your first born as payment for the ticket, I saw it the theater.  (True Fact: Thirteen years later and I have been to the movies precisely three times in the past five years.  THREE times in FIVE years).

Jim, Ox, Kevin, Stiffler, and the rest of the crew were all class of '99.  I was class of '98.  The American Pie movies WERE my generation.  I loved the original one.  Yeah, it was rude and crass and it's certainly not something any of my kids are going to be watching ANYtime soon.  But, with some movies, that doesn't really matter.  I loved the original movie.  When the second one came out, I had to see it (I can vividly remember a co-worker, a woman in her late 30's [I was very early 20's at that time so late 30's was oooooold] telling me, "Brandi, you HAVE to see the movie!  There's a HUGE blue dildo in it!").  I watched American Wedding as well.  Those movies.  My generation.  MY movies.

I was nerdishly excited when I heard they were coming out with American Reunion.  Embarrassingly excited.  Hello!  I'm now in my 30's and the movies were, basically, about a boy who humped a pie.  When do we grow up and, you know, kind of get over the "lol"ness of things like that?  Never?  I'm okay with that.
It's not the 90's anymore and I now have three children.  Watching the movie in the theater would've required a babysitter, payment for a babysitter, and taking out a second mortgage on our home to be able to afford tickets and movie food.  So we waited.  And, the other night, Eddie and I split a bottle of wine and settled in to get reacquained with Jim and the crew.

Keep in my mind: my hubs is ten years older than I am.  When the first Pie  movie came out, he was in his late 20's.  He didn't GET my absolute need to watch the movie.  He had never even seen 2 or Wedding!  (Blasphemy!) That said, he laughed quite a bit during the movie but I don't think he came anywhere close to enjoying it as much as I did.  I.loved.it.  Was it cheesy?  Youbetcha.  Was the plot absolutely amazing?  Um, duhhh, no.  Is it going to win any awards?  Doubt it.  But it was just . . . It was American Pie! 13 years later!

As much as I enjoyed it, though, it also made me feel . . . old?  If not exactly old then definitely grown.  I mean, technically, I'm a year older than these characters and they're, like, grow ups, dude.  And they have real jobs and kids and stuff.  So, if they are grown then that must mean . . .

The movie begins with R.Kelly singing "Bump 'n Grind" in the background and a bouncing bed and you done arrdy know that the bouncy bed wasn't in early 20's style matress dancing.  By the way: the irony isn't lost on me that my two-year-old busted in the room all angry faced during the movie. 

It also reminded me of just how much the world has changed in the past 13 years.  Think about it.  Was there even a cell phone in the original movie?  One of the characters appears in a reality show.  In 1999, reality TV was limited to The Real World and Trading Spaces.  We'd yet to delve into the "This person is D-list Famous, let's give them they're own show!" territory.  Ricky Martin!  He was Livin' La Vida Loca.  What the hey hey has he done lately?

Man.  Time.  Always changing, always marching on . . .

He's My Kid and I Can Make a Big Fat Deal out of Kindergarten if I Want To!

I want my kid to like school. 

I could give you a whole list of reasons I decided to make a Big Fat Deal out of him going to kindergarten but it really comes down to that one little fact: I want him to like school.

It's not all up to me and I get that.  I know there are other factors involved.  Maybe he'll draw an unlucky hand with his very first teacher.  Maybe the classroom will be overcrowded and he won't do well with a bunch of other kids.  Maybe this, maybe that.  Anything could happen.  But.  My attitude has a lot to do with it too.  I figure you can't go wrong by making a Big Fat Deal out of kindergarten. 

So.  That said, here's how we made a BFD out of KG.

1) I totally ripped off an idea I found on Pinterest.  The idea was for a "Back to School Fairy" that leaves a special gift before school begins.  I was pretty sure my Spiderman-Batman-Iron Man loving boy wouldn't be too keen on the idea of getting a gift from a fairy.  But I knew he'd totally appreciate a little something from a superhero.  I found a stock image of a generic superhero and the "Kindergarten Crew" wrote Jaidan a note and left him a little gift.

(Almost) everything came from Dollar Tree and I spent less than $5.  He got a package of Smarties (the tag reads "Good Luck Smartie Pants"), stackable crayons, a water gun, a puzzle, granola bars, and a water bottle.  And, yeah, that's totes a Birthday bag.  Recycle, bitches!



I also included Jaidan's "kindergarten binder" in the bag.  The binder has a couple of "about me" sheets that tell his favorite things -- I thought that would be fun to look back on at the end of kindergarten, to see how much his interests have changed.  We'll also include in the binder different fun things he does through out the year.  He may not appreciate it now but maybe - possibly? - he will when he gets older.  This depends, of course, on me actually keeping up with it.  We'll see.

2) We partied!

His first day of school, Jaidan came home to a "First Day of School Party."  We decorated with homemade signs and balloons, made him a cake, and - oh yeah - we busted out a can of silly string!

I hope I can do a special "first day" dessert every single year on the first day of school.  But I figure the very very first day deserves a PARTY.  He is never again going to have a very first ever day of school.  Might as well make it as special as possible.

3) We had a special dinner.

The dinner was actually for two reasons: dude was a rockstar getting his vaxes needed to start school and he, you know, started school.  I told him he could pick anything he wanted for dinner - meaning "pick something for me to cook that night" but he wouldn't budge from wanting Buffalo Wild Wings.  So Thursday night, the whole family went out to dinner and celebrated Jaidan's first day of school.

That's it in a nutshell: out Big Fat Deal out of kindergarten. Here's hoping it was a kick off to a great and amazing school career!

It Happened This Week

Big week at our house!

Biggest kid starting kindergarten, littlest kid starting potty training, middle kid missing biggest kid something cah-rayyy-zeee. 

Jaidan went to school on Thursday for his testing day.  He was off again on Friday and will go back tomorrow to his actual classroom.  His teacher called yesterday evening to introduce herself.  She met Jaidan for a few minutes on Thursday and claimed to remember him -- I'm not sure if this is a good thing ("oh, what a sweet and charming little boy!") or a bad thing ("I have THAT little turd in my class?").

Our week:

Sunday 8/5:



Monday 8/6:



Tuesday 8/7:

Wednesday 8/8:

Thursday 8/9:

Friday 8/10:

Saturday 8/11: