Over It


I haven't done a bitching post in a while.  And by bitching I mean whine, whine, complain, complain.  I don't mean, "woah, dude, that's a totally bitchin' Camaro" type of bitching.  Does anyone even use "bitchin'" anymore?  If not, we totally need to bring that term back.  Bitchin' and the scrunchie.  Come baaaaaack.

Anyway.  Bitching. A few things I'm so totally over for 2012:
1) Zombies - I don't know if there is a word in the universe to conjure up the level of my disgust for the whole zombie phenomenon. It's stupid. Zombies are not real and when someone goes around munching on the face of another person, it's because they are HIGH ON DRUGS. And it's SAD. And it's NOT the stuff of jokes

Also, at the risk of sounding oversensitive, as someone who has suffered from the "flesh eating disease," I don't appreciate at all or in the least it being compared to a Zombie Apocalypse. People really die from it, y'all. Like, 40% of people who get it. They DIE. How is that funny?

2) Mustaches - They're in photo booths and you see brides wearing them in cheesy wedding pictures and a local kids pizza joint even did a big promotion centered around the mustache. Idea: let's let them go back to 1970's porn where they belong.

3) "Lifestyle" photography - For the love! Can we get back to the days when going to Sears and having your picture taken amongst a backdrop of fake Autumn leaves was the norm? How do people AFFORD this lifestyle photography? Believe me, I understand that quality family pics are a good investment. But I've seen some "mini sessions" where the photographers will charge upwards of $200 for a half hour of their time and something ridiculous like 10 images on a CD with a LIMITED copyright. And people DO this because why? It's the cool thing to do right now? Give me Portrait Innovations or give me death! (Dramatic much?)

4) The Fifty Shades Brouhaha - I know. You're so shocked to see this one, eh? People. They are poorly (horribly! Awfully!) written books about people who are NOT REAL. Christian Grey, much like Edward, Emmett, and Jasper Cullen, IS NOT REAL. You need not worry about a safe word because you will NEVER BE IN HIS TORTURE CHAMBER. And you will never been in his torture chamber because it's not real AND NEITHER IS HE.

5) Mommy Wars: Summer Edition - Every time warmer weather rolls around, the mommybot assholes get on their soapboxes about baby girls in bikinis. Look, I could care less what your kid wears in the pool. But do people not realize how stupid they look when they say something along the lines of, "not my daughter! Not until she's maybe 16 or 17!" Hey, asswipe,what does a 16 or 17 year old girl have that a three year old does not? Oh yeah. Assets that can be SHOWN OFF in a bikini. Duh. Brainiac.

And end the bitching.  What's bothering YOU right now?
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