Coast to Coast 2012: All The Other Stuff

1) On our way to California, we stopped for a night in Deming, New Mexico.  You know what's in Deming?  Two hotels, a McDonald's, and not much else.  The hotel we stayed at, howevs, happened to have a BAR!  It was like it was made for us!  (It's also 90% of the reason we selected that particular hotel).  Anyhow, that night after the men and children were tucked in their beds with visions of Mickey Mouse dancing in their heads, Kira and I headed down to the bar.  And found that it's where a lot of Deming locals hang out!  We had a good time, got some free drinks, and even encouraged a local to call the Hogs.  Woo Pig!

Cheers!
Oh, and please don't judge how we look TOO much - we'd been on the road for 12 hours with five kids and two husbands.

2) Our second night in California, we discovered a restaurant called Acapulco.  I ate there two more times on the trip.  It's a chain and the odds are good that we only thought it was SO DELICIOUS because we live in Tennessee.  But, ya'll, it was pretty damn good!  Not only that, but the margaritas were cheap!  I really wish I could find carnitas and green chli like that in Memphis.  Stupid BBQ city.

3) On Thursday night - our next to last night in Cali - we had a Girl's Night Out.  Our hotel had a complimentary happy hour so we started there for some free drinks.  Then made our way over to Acapulco (I told ya'll we liked that place!)

4) If you've ever been to Disney then you already know they have photographers everywhere taking 384308282 pictures of you that they sell at exorbant prices because they KNOW you will spend it because you HAVE to have a professional picture of your kid with Goofy.  Here are our photo pass pics, if you're so inclined to want to look.

5) We drove through some icky weather and pouring down rain in Arizona on our way home.  But when we got into New Mexico we saw this:

The next day we saw another rainbow on the Oklahoma/ Arkansas line.  Cool stuff!  The kids loved it.

6) I had been to southern California prior to this trip but I'd flown.  Driving was such an experience -- and it meant I got to see a lot of the country I had never seen.  I had never been to Arizona before at all.  My only experience with New Mexico and far west Texas involved a ski trip to Colorado a lifetime ago.  The landscape was so beautiful -- and so different from where I live.  I felt like I was living my boyfriend's song Fly Over States.  Also, I kind of have a crush on the state of Arizona. 

7) Speaking of Arizona . . . let's talk about heat.  I live in the mid-south and it's not uncommon to hear southerners play the "we have it worse than you" game with our friends who reside in the desert.  Our favorite phrase to use is, "but over there it's a dry heat.  We have HUMIDITY."    "Humidity" is like a bad word in this part of the country.  It's icky and it's evil and it's gross and it can make a 93 degree summer day feel like a 123 degree summer day.  But you know what?  FORGET THE DRY HEAT.  We stopped on the Arizona/ California line for a potty break and I'm convinced that is  THE HOTTEST PLACE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.  It was 113 when we were in Vegas and I'm pretty sure my flip flop half melted on the pavement.  I go every summer so, obviously, I know just how hot it is in that part of the country.  I just felt the need to get passionate - right here, right now - about the whole dry heat vs. OH THE HUMIDITY thing. Hot is just hot.  That's it.

8) On our trip to Savannah last summer, the "song" we heard over and over and over again was Moves Like Jagger.  (Interestingly, it was also the "song" for the New Orleans road trip several months later).  Well, Maroon 5 did it AGAIN because we heard, "I'm at a payPHONE tryin' to call . . . " approxomately 32849238942 times.  Now every time I hear that song I think about our trip.  And I also wonder where Adam Levine found a payphone in 2012.

Coast to Coast 2012: BEACH!

I'm not sure how it's possible that I ended up in a landlocked state when I love the beach so much.  I mean, really.  It's cruel to be so separated from salt water!

On our last full day in California, we went to Newport Beach for sun and waves.  This was my first actual beach experience with the Pacific.  I've been to Santa Monica Pier before and I have dipped my toes in the San Francisco Bay.  But this was my first time to head to a California beach, spread a towel on the sand, and prepare to splash in the waves.

Too bad the water was way too cold to even BEGIN to think about splashing in the waves!

Jaidan is a little beach bum.  He experienced the ocean for the first time when he was two, when we went to Padre Island, Texas, for Spring Break.  Even then he couldn't get enough of the sand and the waves.  I knew he was going to feel right at home on this beach trip.

I wasn't so sure about Kyan and Karis though.  Kyan because he wasn't a big fan of the beach during our trip to Hilton Head last summer.  And Karis because, well, she's two.  Who knows with her.  About anything.  Ever.  This summer though?  Kyan had the time of his life!  He loved splashing in the waves -- we could not keep the boy out of the water.  And it took Karis a bit to warm up but, when she did, she loved running from the waves.

Starfish!  So neat!

We're so proud of this shot!  We managed to get one where every single one of us got air!

I wanted to do our beach day on our last day so we could sort of unwind from the craziness of Disney.  And it turned out to be a great idea.  It was tame but also fun and just the ultimate way to end our time in California.

Happy Whoreth of July!

I love the Fourth of July.

I love it because it's the essence of summer all wrapped into one day: BBQ and swimming and poolside drinks and baseball and fireworks.  If you ask me right this minute, I'll tell you it's my favorite holiday.  Just don't ask me at Halloween.  Or Christmas.  Because by then there's a good chance that I MIGHT have changed my mind.

I was really excited for the Fourth this year because we were going to be in California and, since I have hoes in different area codes, we'd be able to spend the holiday with some of my favorite girls and their families.  (Yikes.  Holy run on sentence, Batman!) Instead of celebrating just the Fourth of July we were celebrating the Whoreth of July.  (You know, since we go on trips we like to tell people we're from Whore Island -- that  magical place somewhere between California and Connecticut).

Back row: Me and Dana, who is saved in my phone as "Dana My Mexican Lover" because, well, a girl can wish

Front Row: My daughter (Regina George), Mari, Michelle - her boobs heel, Kira (also known as Kyan's new girlfriend.  Though he told me the other day that he's not going to marry her because she's too old.  So he'll just settle for her daughter), and Lesley



Total sidenote here for a minute: I *thought* I left my bathing suit bottoms at a hotel in North Carolina back in June.  This really bummed me out because I have a front butt and it takes special bottoms to be able to cover that thing up.  I went to Walmart and bought a pair of bottoms that covered the front butt and managed to magnify my thunder thighs at the same time.  Awesome.  So I was ECSTATITC when my mom discovered my bottoms mixed in with her stuff.  I took the bottoms I bought at Walmart back and bought a cover up that looked sooooo cuuuuuute on the rack and notsomuch when I put it on.  It was the only cover up I had on this trip -- and I bought it on the road, without trying it on and didn't realize it was so ugly -- so if you see that thing I'm wearing in pics and you're like "what the what what?" then now you know why.

I'm still wondering why I took the time to type out that whole entire paragraph.

Anyway.  Our Whoreth of July was so fun! 

But.

Get this.  It was July.  July, okay?  Back home in Memphis, the temperatures were in the triple digits and this crazy heat wave was continuing.  The temps never got out of the 70's in southern California.  Ya'll!  THE 70'S!!!  In July!  I've never had a chilly Fourth!  We ended up spending most of our time in the hot tub.  Oh yeah.  Except for when my stepdaughter, Z, had the highlight of HER holiday and pushed me in the pool.  Well played, Z.  Well played.

Don't push my Mommy in the pool!

Speaking of things being thrown in the pool . . . my darling daughter came *thisclose* to pushing her stroller  - as in the one we desparately needed for Disney - into the pool!  Why was it at the pool?  Because she's obsessed with and insisted on taking it out to the pool and her Daddy doesn't know how to say no to her.  So it was at the pool and almost actually in the pool.

We ended the night with sparklers in the parking lot while watching various fireworks celebrations.

Since our hotel was across the street from Knott's Berry Farm, our original intention had been to watch their fireworks show.  But there were fireworks going on ALL around us.  We certainly weren't lacking a spectacular show to watch.  A great end to a great day!

Southern California Fourth Whoreth of July for the win!

Coast to Coast 2012: Disney: The Characters!

Truth: I was more excited about seeing (and, let's be real, taking pictures with) the Disney characters than actually riding rides and stuff. 

Truth #2: Me = Naive.  I didn't realize that we'd have to, you know, stand in line to meet them.  Duh.

We met quite a few though!  And the kids really got a kick out of meeting them.  There were tears, though, when Buzz replaced Woody in line and we didn't get to meet Woody.  Like, both of my boys were in full on "Nooooo!  Woooooody!" mode that could only be remedied with some $4 cotton candy.  Le sigh.

Mater!

Handy Manny

M-I-C-K-E-Y

Pluto

Donald

"The Mouse" as Karis calls him

Kyan was SO EXCITED to meet Buzz.  He was a little disappointed that it wasn't Woody (this was before the Great Toy Story Meltdown of 2012) but he was still so stoked to meet Buzz.  He ran up to him and gave him a big hug.  It was pretty much just the Cutest Thing Ever.

I had to beg, plead, pull out the tears, and come *thisclose* to offering sexual favors in order to get this picture.  We had stood in line for McQueen, we'd already HAD a pic with Mater, and we were GOING TO GET OUR PICTURE WITH LIGHTENING. 



Now the princesses . . .

I had decided we weren't going to do pictures with them (even though I LOVE Beauty and the Beast and was dying for a picture with Belle!).  My boys could care less about princesses, Karis is too young, yadda yadda.  In the end, I'm not sure exactly why I decided we'd stand in the line (it was about 15 minutes I guess) but I'm so glad we did!  First off, Belle was one of the princesses (YAY!).  And Karis - my little tomboy who loves cars and boy toys - was totally enamored!  She kept whispering "Hi pwincess!" and would tell them "bye bye pwincess!"  When it was time to take pictures she even said, "pwincess" rather than cheese.  The cuteness.  I DIE.

My favorite!

A blurry pic is all we got of Tiana

Sad face.

Ariel!

She was by far the most personable of all the princesses --  she interacted with all my kids and they all loved her.

And guess what?

As soon as you walk out of the area with the princesses, there is a shop devoted to selling overpriced Disney princess merchandise.  And whose daughter made a bee-line for all the pink and purple and princess-y?  Yeah, my little tomboy!  The same little girl who won't wear her Rapunzel dress we got her for her birthday for nothing!  Grr!

Coast to Coast 2012: Disney: Just the Pictures

I am suffering from a major vacation hangover/ post-trip letdown.

I've been checked out from reality for the past month.  Coming back sucks.  Hard.  We're all still on California time (seriously.  I got home from grocery shopping at 11:00 last night.  I'm hardly ever even so much as awake at 11:00 p.m.  #oldfolks).  I've been dragging.  The kids have been dragging.  Last week we were splashing around in the Pacific and eating Mexican food and fraternizing with Mickey and his friends.  This week we can't even so much as watch Nickelodeon because DirecTV is a douchebag.  Sigh.

I wanna go back.  There's too much laundry here.  And nobody is making me breakfast.  And it's rainy and dreary.

To brighten my day a little, how about a Disney picture onslaught??

I wasn't sure how Karis would do with the rides.  Turns out - she loved them!  Even the rocking back and forth ferris wheel!

Toy Story ride was so fun!

Kyan rode Tower of Terror - he was so proud of himself!

Coast to Coast 2012: Tales of a (Former) Disney Virgin

I am 32 years old and prior to last Tuesday I had never stepped foot into Disney anything (well, the Disney store.  I do have children, ya know).  No Disney World, land, Tokyo, cruise, Paris, Hong Kong, Hawaii.  Nada.  No Disney.

Before we took this trip, I scored tons of Disney websites.  Tons.  I read tips on top of tips on top of tips.  Here are a few things I, as a (former) Disney virgin felt worth mentioning.

1) If you are military - active duty, retired, or spouse - you can purchase a three day park hopper pass for $99.  People.  The regular price for this type of ticket is $250.  You're saving $150 per person!  We had only planned on buying one day park hopper tickets and STILL ended up saving money (over $100!) by going with the military special. 

A few things about this promotion:

a) Your $99 purchases a voucher for a three day park hopper.  You redeem the voucher at the gate and your tickets are printed out.  You have to have your military ID in order to purchase and in order to have the tickets activated.
b) The Disney website says that each military family (mil member plus their spouse) can only redeem up to six vouchers.  However.  Both the guy at the base where we purchased our vouchers AND a Disney employee I talked to on the phone said that you can redeem up to six vouchers per ID.  We were able to redeem a total of eight (we helped out our friends too): Eddie took in five people and I took in three.
c) We bought our vouchers on base but apparently you can also buy them at Disney.  The guy I talked to from Disney told me they aren't taxed either way.  So that's an option if you don't want to go out to the base (the closest is Seal Beach, it's very small, and it's not far at all from Anaheim).

2) Disney is the happiest place on Earth.  Right?  Of course it is!  That does not, however, prevent them from employing some of the biggest assholes on the planet.  Seriously.  Of the 2394032994 websites I trolled looking for Disney hints and tips not one of them mentioned the fact that Walt's company employees some seee-rious douchebags.  Get this - someone a-hole YELLED AT MY KID for going the wrong way when he got off a ride.  He YELLED AT MY KID.  Nobody but me is allowed to do that!  I understand that Disney is sort of the mothership for pushy parents and bratty kids.  But.  People who work there should know that before they take their jobs and maybe, you know, practice a little more patience.

** For the record: there were WAY more nice people than assholes who worked there, I like to think that's true with just about any place.  But, wow, when the douchebaggery was out it was most definitely in full force.

3) My family enjoyed California Adventure way more than Disneyland.  We ended up spending a lot more time over there.  It was a lot less crowded than Disneyland (exception: Cars Land) and my kids seemed to like the rides better.

4) Cars Land is AWESOME.  It's amazing.  It looks so much like the actual Radiator Springs. It's also THE MOST CROWDED PLACE in either one of the parks.

Radiator Springs Racers is probably the most popular ride of the moment at both parks.  Eddie and Jon stood in line for about an hour just to get FAST PASSES for the kids to ride.  The lines for the ride averaged around three hours.  THREE HOURS for a ride.  Can you imagine?  The things we do for our kids . . .

5) The parades were amazing. I realize that if you've ever been to Disney then you already know this but I felt it was worth mentioning anyway.  We sat down to watch the parade at California Adventure and watched the one at Disney while we stood in line for a ride.  Both were so so so so good.  I think we enjoyed the one at Adventure a little more -- mainly due to all the Pixar characters.

I'm not really sure why people grab a spot early for the parades.  We popped a squat on the parade route about two or three minutes before it swung by us and were right there in the action.  Maybe this isn't always the case and we just got lucky.

6) Our favorite rides: Toy Story and Radiator Springs Racers (which I did not get to ride because Karis wasn't big enough and somebody had to stay with her) at California Adventure; Star Wars at Disneyland

7) Our first night, we watched Fantasmic!  I wish I could express in words just how beautiful it was.  It really put the exclamation point on the end of our first day at the park.  The kids loved it -- it was everything that they wanted to see, water, fireworks, soooo many Disney characters.  It was amazing.  I'm a little bummed that we didn't get to see World of Color but, hey, there's always next time.  (And, oh, there WILL be a next time!)

8) I pinned a travel tip before I left: take your label maker, print out your name and phone number, and stick it to the inside of your kids shoe.  This way, if they get lost, they can show their info to whomever is helping them and get back to you with no muss, no fuss.  I don't have a label maker and didn't buy one before we left.  Soooooo.  I took my trusty Sharpie marker and wrote my name and phone number on each of my boys backs.  I instructed them that if they were lost, they needed to find someone who worked at the park OR a nice looking family and show them the info on their back.  #ghettobutitworked

9) Staying in a Disney hotel just was not going to happen for us.  I'm sure they are totally worth it but I just couldn't get past the price tag.  We ended up staying at the Radisson Buena Park (right across the street from Knott's Berry Farm) and I don't think I could recommend this hotel highly enough!  It was perfect, wonderful, and saved us MORE THAN TWO GRAND over a Disney resort hotel.  Did you hear that?  MORE THAN TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS SAVED.  The rooms were spacious -- hello!  There were six of us in the room and we weren't tripping over each other.  The pool area was fabulous (Zhariah called it a rain forest).  The breakfast was yummy and included made to order omelets.  The best part?  They provided a free Disney shuttle so we didn't have to battle traffic and pay to park at Disney!  Fabulous!  All of that for less than $100 a night.  Yes..  LESS THAN $100 a night.  Unbeatable. 

I'm so happy I'm no longer a Disney virgin!  Even with the (very few) negatives of the park, we had such a great time.  It's something I can't wait to do again.

You May be Right. We May be Crazy.

My brother and his family moved to Virginia last year. 

They stopped by my house on their way out of town and, of course, that meant PHOTO OP.  Other than the baby poop yellow wall taking up half the picture, this is my favorite from the day.  My nephew was ACTIN' A FOO' and Karis was giving him her best "oh no, nuh-uh" look.  I know the look well.  I've given it to my brother millions of times.  Possibly billions.

Anyway. They moved to Virginia and the assholes had the nerve to take my nephew with them.  Jerks.  From the moment we knew they were going to move, Eddie and I started talking about a trip to see them.  They're close to DC so we could take the kids (and me! I've never been!) on a day trip to see the sights.  We even planned to take an overnight to Philadelphia while we were in the area.

We totally had it all planned out.

But.  We have, like, vacation ADD or something.

Our friends Kira and Jon are planning on driving to California this summer.  They mentioned something to us about it.  We got to talking.  We got Eddie's bonus check for the year.  And -- we're gonna do it!  We're shelving the Virginia trip until summer of 2013 (a decision made easier because we'll see my brother and his family when they come through here in April) and we're driving to California this summer!

Yeah, we're probably crazy.

The thought of the drive doesn't thrill me (we're planning to go as far as Albequerque the first leg of the drive -- I MUST eat something smothered in green chili -- then going on into LA).  But, other than that, I am really excited!  We're making big plans and have so many things we want to see and do:

• Disneyland!  (We tossed around this idea for a long time but I'm pretty sure we've committed to doing it.  I've never been to Disney and I'm so so so so excited.  I mean, ya know, for my kids and all . . . )
• Santa Monica Pier/ the beach
• Hollywood/ Walk of Fame
• San Diego/ La Joila (we may not have time for this one, unfortunately, since we're talking about doing two days at Disney so we can do both Disneyland and California Adventure)

We also plan to meet up with friends, visit with some family, and we're tossing around the idea of going home via THE GRAND CANYON.  I've never been to the Grand Canyon!

I've been to California a couple times -- Eddie and I went to SoCal a few years ago for a belated "honeymoon" that wasn't much of a honeymoon considering the first night we were there we ditched each other to go hang out with friends!  I went to the bay area a couple years ago and, as much as I loved San Francisco, I know the southern part of the state is what I want to introduce my kids to now, when they're so young.  And that's really why we're doing this trip -- to give our kids experiences and culture.

Eddie traveled all the time as a child.  He's also retired military so he has, quite literally, been EVERYwhere.  Sometimes I try to pull out random places just to see if he's been there.  Boise?  Billings?  Bismark? Yup, yup, yup.  I, on the other hand, haven't been much of anywhere.  Or hadn't been until I met Eddie.  My biggest travel claims to fame were a ski trip to Colorado my freshman year of college and a Get-Over-that-Guy Caribbean cruise.  Other than that, though, my travels were mostly limited to states that bordered Arkansas.  And mainly Texas -- my dad didn't consider it a vacation unless you went to Texas.  I have great memories of Six Flags and not-so-great memories of being drug around Trader's Village. 
I feel that we're so blessed, so lucky to be able to take our children to so many places; to let them see so much of the country.  By the end of the year, my five year old will be able to say he's been in nearly half the states in the country.  And I'm nerdy enough to think that's pretty awesome.

We're probably crazy.  We're planning on driving 3600 miles, round trip, with four children.  Scratch the probably.  We ARE crazy!  But I can't wait for my kids to dip their toes in the Pacific . . . to take a picture beside Michael Jackson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame . . . for their faces to light up when they see Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody. 

And I really, really, really cannot wait to sport me a pair of Mickey Mouse ears while I make my way through Disneyland!

P.S. I've only been to southern California once (and we did Hollywood, Knott's Berry Farm, a Clippers game, and Santa Monica Pier).  If you have any ideas of good places to go, things to do with small children, please let me know!