Happy Whoreth of July!


I love the Fourth of July.

I love it because it's the essence of summer all wrapped into one day: BBQ and swimming and poolside drinks and baseball and fireworks.  If you ask me right this minute, I'll tell you it's my favorite holiday.  Just don't ask me at Halloween.  Or Christmas.  Because by then there's a good chance that I MIGHT have changed my mind.

I was really excited for the Fourth this year because we were going to be in California and, since I have hoes in different area codes, we'd be able to spend the holiday with some of my favorite girls and their families.  (Yikes.  Holy run on sentence, Batman!) Instead of celebrating just the Fourth of July we were celebrating the Whoreth of July.  (You know, since we go on trips we like to tell people we're from Whore Island -- that  magical place somewhere between California and Connecticut).
Back row: Me and Dana, who is saved in my phone as "Dana My Mexican Lover" because, well, a girl can wish
Front Row: My daughter (Regina George), Mari, Michelle - her boobs heel, Kira (also known as Kyan's new girlfriend.  Though he told me the other day that he's not going to marry her because she's too old.  So he'll just settle for her daughter), and Lesley

Total sidenote here for a minute: I *thought* I left my bathing suit bottoms at a hotel in North Carolina back in June.  This really bummed me out because I have a front butt and it takes special bottoms to be able to cover that thing up.  I went to Walmart and bought a pair of bottoms that covered the front butt and managed to magnify my thunder thighs at the same time.  Awesome.  So I was ECSTATITC when my mom discovered my bottoms mixed in with her stuff.  I took the bottoms I bought at Walmart back and bought a cover up that looked sooooo cuuuuuute on the rack and notsomuch when I put it on.  It was the only cover up I had on this trip -- and I bought it on the road, without trying it on and didn't realize it was so ugly -- so if you see that thing I'm wearing in pics and you're like "what the what what?" then now you know why.

I'm still wondering why I took the time to type out that whole entire paragraph.

Anyway.  Our Whoreth of July was so fun! 


Get this.  It was July.  July, okay?  Back home in Memphis, the temperatures were in the triple digits and this crazy heat wave was continuing.  The temps never got out of the 70's in southern California.  Ya'll!  THE 70'S!!!  In July!  I've never had a chilly Fourth!  We ended up spending most of our time in the hot tub.  Oh yeah.  Except for when my stepdaughter, Z, had the highlight of HER holiday and pushed me in the pool.  Well played, Z.  Well played.

Don't push my Mommy in the pool!

Speaking of things being thrown in the pool . . . my darling daughter came *thisclose* to pushing her stroller  - as in the one we desparately needed for Disney - into the pool!  Why was it at the pool?  Because she's obsessed with and insisted on taking it out to the pool and her Daddy doesn't know how to say no to her.  So it was at the pool and almost actually in the pool.

We ended the night with sparklers in the parking lot while watching various fireworks celebrations.

Since our hotel was across the street from Knott's Berry Farm, our original intention had been to watch their fireworks show.  But there were fireworks going on ALL around us.  We certainly weren't lacking a spectacular show to watch.  A great end to a great day!

Southern California Fourth Whoreth of July for the win!
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