Six

I rocked all of my babies to sleep.  From the time they were newborns until they got to the point of fighting sleep, we rocked.  Every night.  Sometimes several times a night.  People would tell me I was spoiling them and, as they got a little older, I was often asked something along the lines of, "you're STILL rocking him?"  There were nights that I didn't exactly enjoy it -- especially when "night" was around 3:00 in the morning.  But, more often than not, I absolutely loved that time.  Me and a sweet smelling baby, snuggled together, quality time (and, you know, catching up with recorded TV).  If I could give any one piece of advice to new moms it would easily be rock your babies!  Because one day they won't want to be rocked anymore.  Because one day you'll blink and your happy little chubster will have grown into a little boy.  Because one day he'll pick up a Victoria's Secret advertisement off your dresser - an ad you never, ever thought to hide because, hello, you have BABIES - and say something along the lines of, "WOAH!  Who is THAT?" and follow it all up with a whistle (true story, happened Monday). 

Because one day your sweet little baby will be six.

And he'll still hug and kiss you when you drop him off at school and turn around and wave until he's made his way up to the building.  And sometimes he'll still want to cuddle.  And he's free with the "I love yous."  But you know those days are fleeting.  Because you remember the days when you rocked him, when he depended on you for everything, when his favorite place to be was nestled up against your chest.  Days that are long gone.

The time goes faster between each birthday.  Jaidan is six now.  Six!  Six more years and he'll be 12.  Six years after that he'll be 18 and we'll be looking at cap and gowns and doing campus visits and there's a chance there'll be a girlfriend in the picture and Vicky's Secret ads will be the least of my worries.

Six!

 

Happy Birthday Jaybird!

The Day I Turned 26 (Plus Six)

I turned 32 on Saturday.

Friday night, Eddie and I had a conversation that went something like this:

E: So, do you feel 32?
Me: Um, I'm not 32 YET.* But, no, I don't.  I feel 19.
E: Oh, you do not.

Then he proceeded to tell me that I still look like in my 20's and I agreed with him with the exception of the lines around my eyes and he said, "well, if you'd just gain a little bit of weight, it would fill those wrinkles in."

I'm not sure whether to be flattered by the inference that I'm skeeeeny or annoyed by the fact that he did not say something like, "What lines around your eyes?"

* I had to lay the smack down on Facebook Friday afternoon because people kept telling me "Happy Birthday."  I was all, "bitch, please, I still got 12 hours left of being 31.  LET ME HOLD ON A LITTLE BIT LONGER."

So, anyway, for the most part I do feel 19.  Or like I should still be 19.  Sometimes the fact that I'm in my 30's, have three children, pay a mortgage . . . it all kind of blows my mind.  You see, I don't so much have a problem with 32.  Nice, round number.  Sounds pretty great.  My problem lies with the fact that I am far too young to actually be 32.  And, also, I still struggle with, you know, it not being the 1990's anymore.
While I do feel like I should still be 19, I have to admit that I apparently do not actuallly feel 19.  This is evidenced by two things:

1) I went out Saturday night and was back home and in bed by 11:30. 
and
2) I woke up Sunday morning and felt like I'd been hit by a truck.  My entire body HURT.  It still hurts a little today.  Dubya Tee Eff?

The originial birthdy plan had been to hit up the BBQ fest that's part of the Memphis in May celebration.  Well, if we're going to get technical, the original plan was to win a few grand on a scratch-off ticket and spend the weekend baking myself in the sun on a beach in Florida.  But since that didn't happen, BBQ fest it was.

Except.

We got downtown, walked 90340922094 blocks from our parking spot to Tom Lee Park (just in case you wanted to know, last year at this time Tom Lee Park was under water.  I think, this year, it's rained perhaps twice in the past three months).  Before we could pay to get in to the festival, we overheard a group of people talking about how much it "sucked."  We stopped and talked to them and basically found out that it just was.not.worth.it.  You pay $9 just to get in to the festival, there was no BBQ to sample, and all the food they did have was overpriced.  Not coo'.

So, instead, we settled on some Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken (quite simply the best fried chicken in the world).  And beer.  And air conditioning.  (It was 95* in Memphis on Saturday).

I'm goinig to do you the favor of NOT blowing up this picture any larger.  32 years old and had a GINORMOUS pimple pop up on my chin.  I told Storme yesterday that it looked like Rudolph decided to plunk his nose down on my chin.

After Gus's, it was Beale Street.

I have to have a Walk Me Down every year when I celebrate my birthday.  Have to.

That blue thing?  It's a Walk Me Down!

My hobbies include writing, reading, shopping, and bullshitting with random strangers.  Oh man.  I love random people.

I also love Jello shots.

Back to random people.  Here are just a few of the peeps we enjoyed BS'ing with:

My goal was to convince each of these people that I was only turning 26.

And also that I was half Filipina.

We also happened to run into these guys:

They were fabulous and fun and it's really a shame that none of them actually live in Memphis because we would teee-otally be besties if they did.  We spent five hours on Beale Street with them.

Once they found out it was my birthday, Storme and I did not pay for anything the rest of the night.  They even ordered me a birthday brownie a la mode at one of the places we went into.

The best thing about hanging with a group of gay guys -- other than the fact that they constantly tell you your beautiful - is that you don't have to worry that they're trying to get in your pants.  It's all just good, Jello-shot laden fun.

It was such a great birthday!  If the rest of my 32's go the same as the kick-off, then it's gonna be a GREAT year!

Please go on ahead and excuse the melting face and messy hair.  95 degrees, people!

P.S. and TOTALLY unrelated: Today is the first day of summer vacation.  PRAY FOR ME.

And Then He Was Four

The second night of his life, when Kyan was just over 24 hours old, his lips turned blue.  I freaked out.  Eddie freaked out.  He grabbed the baby and ran into the hospital hallway until he found a nurse.  The nurse suctioned him, his color returned, and they whisked him to the nursery so that someone (other than us parents) could keep an eye on him at all times during the night.  I was suffeciently freaked out.  What was wrong with my baby?  Would this happen again?  Was it something serious?

The doctor came in early the next morning and reassured us.  It wasn't anything respiratory.  Probably wasn't even a big deal at all.  The problem?  Kyan wouldn't poop.  I still have no idea as to why that caused his lips to turn blue, but it did and he had to be sunctioned regularly in order to avoid it happening again.  He ended up "going" later that afternoon.  All over my yoga pants.  This is a story that will be told for years and years to come -- maybe even at Kyan's wedding rehearsal dinner, provided he's not marrying someone who comes from a pretentious family or marrying into a family who uses "bowel movement" instead of "poop" -- to prove that Kyan has been full of it since the day he came into this world.

He didn't make things easy on us when he was just a day old.  And "easy" is the last word people would think of describe the past four years with our little guy.  But they would call him funny and affectionate, charming and an old soul.  He's our Rooster, so named because of the early morning wake up calls he's been giving us since, well, since birth.  When he was an infant he didn't want anyone but me to hold him and, to this day, he's still the ultimate Mama's Boy.  But over the years he's grown from a clingy little koala baby to a fiercely independent, my-way-or-the-highway, extremely outgoing little boy. 

I feel so blessed - so, so blessed - to be his Mama, that he is mine, that four years ago today he came into OUR family.  I'm not going to tell you that I can't believe he's four.  Believe me -- I can.  I've felt everyone of those four years and have the bags under my eyes and the gray in my hair to prove it.  He is one of my biggest blessings, one of my favorite people in the world, and I love him more than he'll ever know. 

Happy Birthday Kyan Alexander!

Go Girl . . . It's Your Birthday!

I gave up Pinterest for Lent (and lasted the entire 40 days and 40 nights!)  In doing so, this meant I had to resort to the old-fashioned way when it came to finding ideas and projects: Google.  I turned to the Big G to look for ideas for Dr. Suess's birthday a while back and found a birthday party - a first birthday party - that can be described in one word: ridiculous.  Like, I cannot even begin to describe the INSANE that was this birthday party -- complete with canvas art work made up in theme colors.  And not even art work that could be used over and over again -- just things like "Happy Birthday."  It was so over the top and . . . well, there are no other adjectives than ones I've already used to describe it better: it was ridiculous and insane.

One of my girlfriends mentioned the other day, when we were talking about Easter baskets, that social media has opened a whole new door for one upmanship and showboating.  Not only do we have to try to keep up with Joneses.  We're also keeping up with old high school classmates, the girl we went to camp with one summer twenty years ago, and our mother-in-law's best friend's daughter's cousin.  It's ridiculous.  And hard.  And not anything I want to get caught up in.  It's funny to think that, on the one hand, I have things much easier than my own mother did when she was raising me: my kids can play on the computer (educational games even!) when they're driving me crazy; I'm just a click away from any information I need re: these crazy kids; stay at home mom boredom can be held at bay thanks to message boards and Facebook and Pinterest and blogs.  But, on the other hand, HOLY SHEEEE-ITE do we have more "pressure" on us than ever!  Not only do we have those same message boards telling us our kids are going to be dumb and fat because we didn't breastfeed or overly-attached sissies because we DID breastfeed, we also have Pinterest with the Martha Stewarts of the Mommy World showing off their out-of-this-world creations.  And Facebook and blogs where we put our worlds out there for everyone from our nearest and dearest to complete strangers. 

In the grand scheme of things, I could care less if you spend the equivilant of a year's college tuition on your child's birthday party.  But I still reserve the right to judge you as bat shit crazy.  ;)

When Jaidan turned one, I had his birthday party at a local park.  I only invited family and a couple close friends.  We served burgers and hotdogs.  He smashed his cake all over the place.  It was a good time but, at the end of the day, I was exhausted and realized that my first baby's first birthday party had passed me by and I hadn't really even enjoyed it because I was busy making sure everyone else enjoyed it.  After that, I knew I would try to keep birthday parties as stress-free as possible.  I can't imagine if I'd done REAL pomp and circumstance, you know?  As it is, I feel like an asshole for buying sports-themed confetti to line the tables with -- after all, it was an outdoors party and kinda windy.  Not my brightest moment.

We've done a first birthday party for all three of our children but, these days, we've become . . . well, we're not so much party people.  We don't have many friends in this area (makes me feel Extra Lamesauce for admitting that but if I've learned anything in the time I've lived in Memphis it's that, in this "big small town" it's very hard for a transplant to fit in) and virtually no family.  Our children are so young that they aren't going to remember much about their birthday parties.  We'll do the party party thing once they start school and have their own little gaggle of friends.  As it is now, Jaidan is already planning his sixth birthday party -- which, six months out, we'll either be a Halloween party (with a scary cake) or a sleepover (with a Batman cake).  Obviously, my kids are most concerned about the cake.  Wonder where they get THAT from . . .

Instead of doing the party thing, we let the kids have their own "special day" where they get to choose a few fun activities and where we eat, that sort of thing.  At the end of the day, we come home and do cake and presents.  It works for us and it's so much cheaper and less stressful than having a party! 

A few pictures for Karis's special day:

Going to bed as a one-year-old

Homegirl has been having some "sleep issues" (i.e. not wanting to sleep) lately and she did.not. want to go to bed that night.

My favorite of our birthday traditions! I decorate their room when they (finally) go to sleep so they have a fun room to wake up to on their birthday.

We had pizza (her favorite!) for lunch but the night before's shenanigans caught up with her and she ended up sleeping through her ENTIRE birthday lunch!

Rode the carousel at the mall; she yelled "YEE-HAW" the whole time.

She is so much more shy than either of my boys ever thought about being.  She enjoys the play area at the mall but it takes some coaxing to actually get her to go play.  And, on this particular day, some little girl accidentally ran into her.  Didn't even knock her down or anything but, man, it hurt her feelings because Baby Girl CRIED.

Home for presents!  Her Gigi sent her a couple pairs of flip flops and, once she opened those, all present opening had to stop until she could try those on.  100% GIRL!

This large pesent was a Rapunzel doll (worst doll ever, FYI, with all that hair!) and a matching dress!  Wanna know how she felt about the dress?

What a turd.

Her brothers picked out her cake -- "pretty pink for their pretty princess."  She was rather unimpressed.

She had on her Diva Pants for most of the day and would tell us to "stoooooooop!" every time we sang "Happy Birthday" to her.  However, she joined in and sang along while we did the cake.

And that was our Big Girl's big day!

My Girl

There's something that happens whenever a woman has two little boys, no daughters.  Friends, family, random strangers start saying things like, "When're you going to have that little girl?"  "Gotta go for a girl next time!"  "Don't you want a little girl?"  When I was pregnant with Karis, up until our 20-week ultrasound, I told myself I was having another boy.  I didn't need a girl.  I saw myself as a Boy Mom and I was happy living a life of snakes and snails and puppydog tails. 

Then the ultrasound tech said, "I'm pretty sure we have a little girl here!" and I cried because I realized while I didn't need a baby girl I did want a baby girl.

And I'm so glad we got her.

And today - she is two!

During my pregnancy people would tell me that having a girl after two rambunctious and rowdy boys would bring a certain level of calm and sweetness to our household.  To that I have to say - ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  She was by far the easiest baby of my three.  But calm does not describe her as a toddler.  Really she's just as rambunctious and rowdy as the boys.  I tried to take pictures of her just for this post.  THIS is what I ended up with:

THIS is Karis!  It's so her!  She's busy.  She's on the go.  And she's not stopping for nothing, thank YOU very much.

Even with all the sass and the attitude and throwing her cup at me while yelling, "MAR DWINK!" she can be such a sweetheart.  She loves puppies and shoes and doing everything Kyan does and bossing Jaidan around (because he'll actually listen to her bossing!)  She gets excited when Daddy comes home from work and when Zhariah walks in the door from school and she's quick to give hugs and kisses.  I really can't believe it's been TWO YEARS since we welcomed her into our family!

I STILL love how Kyan stole the show with this picture!

I'm so glad she's ours!

Happy Birthday Karis Olivia!

Celebration

Monday morning, we were standing in the kitchen and Jaidan turned to his brother and said, "Kyan!  I'm five now!"  He was so excited that it was his birthday and so excited to be five.  I love the excitement young children have as it gets closer and closer to their day.  Sure, it can also make you crazy -- like the week before when they run down the stairs everysinglemorning yelling, "SIX MORE DAYS!" or when they make up their extra special "kinda like Michael Jackson" it's-almost-my-birfday dance.  But it's their day and it's the only holiday out of the whole year that belongs to them and only them.  So it's very important to me for it to be special.  I hope each of my children can grow up having wonderful memories about their birthdays. I hope we have implemented traditions that one day they'll want to carry on with their own children. 

We began celebrating Jaidan's birthday on Sunday evening.  We let him pick anywhere he wanted to go for dinner and, since he is a five-year-old and all, we ended up at McDonald's.

As much as it sucks to see my baby grow up fast, I can't really lie.  I'm ready for the days when birthday dinners include restaurants with actual waiters, real glasses, and no dollar menu. 

After Mickey Donny's (as it's known at our place), we went home for presents and cake.  I remember when I was buying this kid shape sorters and teethers.  Now he's getting Batman and monster trucks and Nerf guns?  What happened?  Where the heck did time goooooo?

Wanna know another then vs. now?

I bought the gifts for Jaidan's first birthday at least a month in advance.  I'm thinking it was further in advance then that.  Wanna know how far in advance I bought them this year?  A day.  The night before.  I'm not sure if this is an example of what happens when you have three kids or what happens when your kids are a whole hand old as opposed to just one finger.



When Jaidan (finally) went to sleep Sunday night, it was time for me to get busy.  Last year, I started the tradition of decorating their rooms the night before their birthdays.  So when the Birthday Child wakes up the first thing he sees is streamers and balloons.  Last year, Kyan woke up before Jaidan and proceeded to destroy everything I'd done.  This year, he crawled into my bed around 2:00 in the morning.  When I woke up, I checked on the decorations and found not a single balloon out of place.  Since Kyan was already out of the room, I took it upon myself to take the decorating one step further:

We woke him up by singing "Happy Birthday" then made him bust through the streamers. 

Since we didn't do a traditional birthday party, Monday was dedicated to being "Jaidan's Day of Fun."  We started things off at Toys 'R' Us since his birthday money was burning a hole in Jaybird's pocket.  Then it was lunch at the place of his choice -- Pizza Hut (because he could eat as much pizza as he wanted AND have a salad, a salad that he did not eat because he's a lettuce snob and thumbs his nose at anything that's not Romaine).

We left Pizza Hut and entered . . . the third realm of Hell (known as Chuck E. Cheese in some cultures).  Apparently, it was Home School Day at Chuck's because there were several school aged children brats running around.  I'm not exactly sure what pizza and 25 cent games have to do with school but whatever.  The kids had fun.  And at the end of the day we'd garnered enough tickets to purchase . . . a sheet of Super Hero stickers and a roll of sweet tarts.  (Chuck is a little stingy with those tickets).

She wanted another basketball to the point that she was willing to crawl INTO the game to get it.  She's so . . . pretty.

After Chuck E's we headed to THE PARK.  <==== Capitalized because that's exactly how my children say it.  They love the park so it was the perfect exclamation point at the end of Jaidan's Day of Fun.



The following photo is proof to you that asshole four-year-olds to do not magically morph into, you know, non assholes when they flip the page and turn five:

How can  you look that angry when you're eating ICE CREAM?

I realize that this is the longest blog post in the history of ever, but I have one more tradition to add.  This is something I found on Pinterest (duh - where else?) and decide to start it up with Jaidan this year.  I plan on doing it every year with each of the kids.  I wrapped up 12 (very small) presents for him to open up on the hour every hour until 7:37 p.m. (the exact time he was born).  It was just small things -- temporary tattoos, stickers, pencils, etc.  It was fun though and gave him something to look forward to each hour.  (Look forward to to the point that he even opened one of them up early . . . grrr).



Five

He'll probably climb a tree too tall

And ride his bike too fast

End up every summer wearing something in a cast

He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass
In a window down the street

He's gonna get in trouble
He's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper

And some sleep

I can seem him right now, knees all skinned up

With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck

Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on

That'll be his first love 'till his first love comes along.

He'll probably stay out too late

And drive his car too fast

Get a speeding ticket that he'll pay for mowing grass

He's gonna get caught skipping class

And be grounded for a week

He's gonna get in trouble

We're gonna get in fights

I'm gonna lose my temper

And some sleep

He's gonna love me

And hate me along the way

The years are gonna fly by

And I already dread the day

He's gonna hug his Mama, gonna shake Dad's hand

He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out

He'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me . . .

The strangest thing happens when you become a parent.  Your days, they are longer than ever.  They seem to stretch on endlessly and there are times when naps and bed cannot come soon enough.  But the years?  The years are short.  Before you know it, you look up and your baby has turned into a little boy. 

Today my boy, my oldest boy, is five.  I feel like it was just yesterday that he came into my life, all dimples and curls.  I feel like it was just yesterday that he was a roly poly baby with an easy smile and infectious laugh. I feel like it was just yesterday that he was tearing into his smash cake on his very first birthday.  I feel like all of it was just yesterday.  And now he's already five.

The years.  They are short.

I know it's only five.  But these five years have flown by with such an amazing speed -- a speed that I never thought possible when I suffered through Geometry in ninth grade wondering if each 50 minute class was ever going to end -- that I know one of these days I'm going to look up and I won't be holding a little boy anymore.  I'll be hugging a near grown man. 

He's taken me on quite an interesting ride the past five years.  I would give anything to hold him one more time as a newborn.  But I could skip quite a few of the toddler antics -- from pouring syrup all over our couch to the time he ran through my bedroom with an open bottle of hair dye (those carpets never were quite the same).

For every "interesting" moment with this little boy . . . for every single time I've lost my patience . . . the great moments have outnumbered them tenfold.  Wonderful memories.  Snuggles and cuddles and the kind of love  you can only really experience if you have the pleasure - the gift - of being the Mama of a little boy.

Happy Birthday Jaybird!  I love you to the moon and back.  And even though you drive me crazy and cause me to lose my temper and lose some sleep, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love you for your you-ness.  We've made it halfway through a decade and one of these days, if you have one who is anything like you, you'll understand just why exactly that's to be celebrated!  I love you!