My First Blog of 2013. Better Make it Awesome. Or, At Least, Mediocre.


A month or so ago, Eddie was all "I have to work New Years Eve night.  Sorry babe."  What's new?

Then a few weeks later he told me he was able to switch shifts with someone and was going to be off by 6:00.  Now, it would have taken an act of God and the planets aligning for us to be able to find a babysitter on NYE but we were hopeful that we would actually be able to go out, to do something, to be blissfully childfree to ring in 2013.  Ha.  That's really funny.  God and the planets are probably still laughing.  "Good one, Brandi."

Before we even had a chance to secure babysitting, Eddie's work schedule changed again and he ended up having to work overnight.  And all this was just a long, convoluted way for me to tell you that I celebrated the new year with three kids -- there were good intentions of the hourly balloon idea from Pinterest, sparkling grape juice, and the game of Life.


Yeah right.  My boys were arguing over every.little.thing and I finally sent them to bed at 9:00.  My New Years Eve consisted of unclogging a toilet and watching a Roseanne rerun.  Glamorous life I lead, y'all.  The highlight of my evening was seeing a commercial for a dating website for famers -  It's real and it made my night.  I KNOW!  I feel sorry for myself.

I'm a great big pushover and let my boys get up (they were still up, but I let them come out of the horrible confinement of their rooms - you know, it's sooo awful with all the toys and the Netflix and the tablets) to "toast" to the new year.  I did it mainly for THIS photo op (that looked way better in my mind) and also because I spent a whole buck each on those hats at the Dollar Tree and couldn't let that go to waste. 

Yeah, I totally failed large time with those homemade 2013 glasses.
Please hold while I write a blog about how Pinterest has ruined my life, mmkay?

So now it's 2013 and I guess I'm supposed to tell you all about all the things I'm resolving to do or not to do?  Are you quoting some weird form of Shakespeare right now -- to do or not to do; to resolve or not resolve?  No?  Yeah, me neither.

I know a lot of people are all "efffff, resolutions!"  I am not one of these people.  This girl?  She's a fan of resolutin'.

I usually resolve to get my house more organized.  I start out on feeee-ire the first, oh, two days and organize my junk drawer and possibly the pantry.  Then I give up before I ever make it to the parts of the house that weren't organized the previous January.  I've given up all hope of ever having an organized house while my children are young.  Or, you know, while I'm living.  I'm not going to resolve to do something I know I'm going to fail at.  Saying I'm going to organize my house is akin to me agreeing to give up my Faturday Gluttony Fests.  Or, like, Kim Kardashian resolving to not be a media whore. 

I'm also - for the first time in as long as I can remember - NOT resolving to lose weight this new year.  I KNOW!  I'm actually *gasp* HAPPY with my weight.  Write this down, mothertruckers, because I cannot believe it's happening either.  (If I'm being completely honest, I've been eating like an asshole since Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve and, therefore, am not stepping on the scale for another week or so.  Here's crossing fingers and hoping I'm still all BFF'd and LYLAS'd up with said scale when D-Day rolls around).

Basically, I have two resolutions this year and neither of them are all that interesting.  I have no real vices other than wine and that's already reserved for weekends, special occasions, bad days, and random Tuesdays. 

All that said, my two resolutions:

1) Be more assertive.  I really need to work on standing up for myself more.  I'm bad about just "whatever"-ing things even if it happens to be stuff I really care about.  If I care about it, then I need to express that!  I'm 32 years old so I know it's not like this is a trait that's going to change over night but I am actively going to work on making my feelings a priority.

2) Go back to church.  I was raised in the Baptist church and went very regularly up until about a decade ago.  In the past ten or so years, I've really been hit or miss with my attendance.  I have to do better, for my own spiritual well-being and for my children.  My main issue with churches in this area is that Memphis is the Land of the Mega-Church.  I'd like to go somewhere where the pastor knows my name (sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came -- Boston bar, Memphis mega-church . . . same dif).  As a friend pointed out, though, one definite perk of the mega-church is they usually have amazing children's programs.  So, who knows what we'll do or how many churches we'll try out before we find the one that's right for us.  But we are going to try them out and get back in the routine of attending!

Other things that aren't resolutions because they won't make me a better person but I'm going to attempt to them anyway: start using Twitter again, "de-lurk" on blogs I read (not counting the hate reads), find a new series or two to watch on Netflix, finally finish To Kill a Mockingbird, be better about keeping up with email and responding to blog comments, start using Swagbucks again (totally just linked my account in an effor to get you to sign up so that I can earn swagbucks and $5 Amazon gift cards off of YOU), and not gain weight. 

Be kind to me, 2013.  I know you're the year of the Kardashian-West baby but, other than that, be good to me (and, for the love of all that's holy, no breakups on the Amy Poehler/ Will Arnett level.  PLEASE GOD NO).
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