Britney Spears is 30. I am not Okay with This.


It was 1998.  I was a freshman in college and working at the Waco Postal Credit Union.  We kept the radio at the Credit Union turned on either Waco 100 (country) or 97.5 (Top 40) depending on our mood of the day.  Or, well, depending on the mood of the Office Bitch.  We knew two things were certain if we were listening to 97.5 --

1) If Cher's song "Do you beeeelieeeeve in life after lahve" came on, the manager would yell from her office, "Oh my GAWD.  Turn that OFF."
2) We would hear Baby One More Time at least three times an hour.  At least.

I was 18 when Britney came out so I was just a tiny bit over the age demographic that lost their shit over her.  For the record, I was also neither a fan of N*SYNC (Justin Timberlake then?  Oh, no.  No, no, no.  Justin Timberlake NOW?  Come.To.Mama) or Backstreet Boys.  Well, except for this song.  I passed on Brit Brit and Christina and all the boy bands.  Matchbox 20 for me please.  And remember Savage Garden?  I LOVED Savage Garden!  Okay, I need to stop now.  I could make post after post after post about Music of the 90's.

So, nope, I wasn't much of a Britney fan in those days.  But I remember when she had her second baby and went crazy and shaved her head.  I was like "oh, this poor Boo Boo needs HELP."  I was all about being her champion.  You know, one of those crazy internet people who would DEFEND her whenever anyone started to trash her.  But she had too much too soon!  She was over-sexualized by the record industry when she was just 17!  Product of bad parenting!  (Funny enough, I never felt the same way about Lindsey Lohan -- posterchild for Too Much Too Soon Meets Bad Parenting.  Probably because she decided to butcher both The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday.  Unforgiveable).

Ya'll.  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that Britney is 30 now!  It has nothing to do with being a fan either.  It has to do with . . . well . . . it just has to do with this:

THAT is supposed to be Britney.  17.  Not *gasp* almost twice that.

I don't even care that Madonna is in her 50's.  Madonna is 20 years older than me.  She's always been older than me.  But Britney?  Britney is my generation, ya'll!

Britney is supposed to be 17.  And I'm supposed to be 18 and a freshman at Baylor and working at the Waco Postal Credit Union where we rotate between playing Waco 100 and 97.5 and I have a boss who hates Cher.

I'm not going to go as far as saying that there's no amount of money you could give me to relive those days.  I'm sure there is, but it's probably somewhere in Mark Zuckerberg territory.  That's not the point though.  The point is time has gone by too fast.  It's nearly 2012.  I have three kids and a mortgage and more responsibility than merely making it to Biology lab and maintaining a scholarship.

Britney is 30.  And I'm not okay with it.
On a completely, totally unrelated note -- did you WATCH The Virgin Diaries on TLC last night?  This is so much more snark-worthy than Teen Mom ever thought about being.  Please.  PLEASE. For the love of all that's holy, set your DVR for next week.
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