I Don't Care if They Do Show Reruns of Will and Grace. Let's Boycott Lifetime.


The other night I was minding my own business, watching The Elizabeth Smart Story on Lifetime (judge me! I cried like a baby at the end). That's when I saw it. A commercial for a remake of Steel Magnolias.


I'll give you a minute for that to sink in.

If you don't have anything nice to say about this then, well, COME SIT BY ME.


That would be like remaking Pretty Woman! Can you imagine, I don't know, Blake Lively and Ryan Gosling as Vivian and Edward? No? That's because those characters belong to Julia Roberts and Richard Gere!

Much like Truvy IS Dolly Parton. Clairee is no one other than Olympia Dukakis. Sally Field and Julia Roberts were - and still are - perfect as M'Lynn and Shelby. Darryl Hannah was born to play Anelle. And, let's be real, no one other than Shirley MacLaine will ever - ever - be Ms. Ouiser. And I love you, Alfre Woodard, but that includes you.

The cast of this despicable remake is pretty awesome for a Lifetime movie. There's Alfre Woodard, Phylicia Rashad, Queen Latifah, and Jill Scott. All amazing. But really? And who - who??? - saw Queen Latifah as M'Lynn? I.dont.get.it.

Steel Magnolias is, hands down, my favorite movie of all time. I can sit here and rattle off dozens of movies that I absolutely love, adore, cherish (DirtyDancingPrettyWomanGhostWhenHarryMetSallyRememberTheTitansTheSandlotSleeplessInSeattle) but Steel Magnolias is always number one. Always.  I love it more than my luggage.

It was bad enough that some asshole director got it in his head to remake Footloose.  And apparently someone has decided to redo Dirty Dancing -- presumably with actors who weren't even alive when the original came out.  What's next?  Is someone trying to tap Ludacris to play Cliff Huxtable in a remake of The Cosby Show?  Are they going to mangle The Golden Girls or Boy Meets World?  Are they trying to destroy EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD?

Back off of Steel Magnolias -- especially with the extra cheese that's known as a Lifetime movie.

They already gave us our "thirty minutes of wonderful."  We don't need a "lifetime of nothing special."
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