I Don't Know What to Say. Except it's Christmas and We're All in Misery.


Last night was Zhariah's first ever band concert.  She's in the "beginner and novice band" which is a basically a bunch of sixth graders who had never picked up an instrument until four months ago.  It was . . . interesting.

Here are my kids BEFORE the concert:

And here they are after:
I think Karis's face says it all

Kyan spent the entire concert either sleeping or with his hands covering his ears.  Karis called the Hogs "Woooo Dig Oooey!," yelled out "ho ho ho" and "dance!" and tried to take her shirt off.  It was interesting.  I did find a potential future stepson-in-law in the boy who was playing guitar in the jazz band.  I told Zhariah I don't care if he IS an eighth grader, snap.him.up now.  They didn't make boys like that when I was in middle school.  And that concludes the Dirty Old Woman portion of this entry.

Moving right along . . .

1. What is your favorite Christmas cookie?

You know, I really prefer candy to cookies.  Give me fudge and peppermint bark any day.  But I also LOVE tuxedo cookies.  Oh, and sugar cookies with, like, four inches of frosting piled on top.  And anything with mint chocolate chips in it.  Or, just any kind of chocolate chips. 
2. What's your favorite holiday movie & why?
"We're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny f*cking Kaye.  And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!" 

That's my favorite holiday movie and that quote is why.  I actually watched it last night while wrapping gifts.

Runners up: Home Alone 2 ("Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!") and Scrooged.  Bill Murray rocks.

3. Is there a gift that you bought for your kids that you wish you hadn't after they opened it?
Of course.  I can't pinpoint one off the top of my head but they have an entire toy room full of noisy crap they hardly play with is I know the correct answer to this one.

However, I can pinpoint one my brother bought that I regretted pretty much the minute Jaidan opened it.  Silly putty.  That stuff sucks.  It was everywhere.  And, this year?  Oh wait for it, Josh.  I'm still searching for the gift for your child that is the perfect mix of annoyingly noisy AND incredibly messy.
4. What is the messiest room in your house right at this moment?
Well, considering I bribed the kids with M&M's to get them to clean their toy room yesterday it's um . . . er . . . it's probably my husband's "man cave."  It's the one room in the house that I refuse to clean and, apparently, it's the one room in the house that he also refuses to clean. 

Oh wait.  Does the garage count?  Because if it does then damn.  That one wins by a long shot. 
5. What is the furthest you have driven for the holidays?
When I was in my late teens/ early 20's my family would drive from central Texas to central Arkansas (about an eight hour drive).  These days, the furthest we go is to my grandparents in Arkansas.  It's only about three hours from where we are now.  Much, much better drive with three kids in tow!
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