It's a Wonderful Life

Don't you get the sense tonight

That for now the world is right

And as another Christmas ends

My mind drifts and once again

I'm thinking like a six-year-old

Only 364 360days to go

 

It always comes and goes so fast, doesn't it?  I feel like we should still be in the thick of summertime and yet, here we are, another Christmas come and gone.

 

Things were very low-key for us this year.  Christmas Eve was the five of us (my stepdaughter was with her mother and her family) and enough food for twenty.  The kids each opened one present - their Christmas jammies - before bed.  We sprinkled reindeer food on the yard and tracked Santa on NORAD and left cookies and Coke Zero for the big guy.

 

I woke up at 5:30 on Christmas morning, made a Christmas tree out of cinnamon rolls, and waited, waited, waited for the kids to wake up.  I finally got Jaidan up at 7:00 and he quickly woke up every one else in the house.  Presents were opened and Kyan proved why Christmas was practically invented for four-year-olds with his proclamations of "THAT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED!" about every.single.thing he opened. 

 

Karis refused to open any of her presents.  The boys each got a pair of Razorback slippers and Karis seemed to think these were Stompeez.  This caused a few tears on her part and, "I wan' STOMPEEEEZ!," a fit that was finally resolved when her dream pet was opened for her.  Apparently any infomertial crap would suffice.  She was a happy girl, though, when she opened up her new puppy.  Not only has the dog gone everywhere with her but she's also been carting around the box it was packaged in.  That girl.  Good thing she's pretty . . .

 

Christmas at my grandmother's house was cancelled but she dropped by our presents on her way to North Carolina.  She and my Aunt Sue and Uncle Tom stayed for a few minutes while the kids tore into yet a few more presents.  Later in the morning we Skyped with my mom so she could see the kids opening their gifts from her.  We spent the remainder of the day playing with new toys, laying around, eating, and waiting for Storme and Cheyenne to drive in from Arkansas.

 

 

As is usually the case, some gifts were much more appreciated and played with than others.  Kyan had been asking for a Spiderman Stunt City for months - literally, months - and the thing has been played with a total of about twenty minutes since Tuesday morning.  On the other hand, everyone has enjoyed Jaidan's Batman Batcave and Kare Bear's Barbie car.  Santa also gifted us four different board games.  Our favorite?  Fibber.  Seriously.  Go buy this game.  Go buy it now.  You don't even need kids to enjoy it. 

 

We didn't have a white Christmas in Memphis.  We did, however, wake up to this the morning of the 26th:

 



 

My home state of Arkansas was hit with record snowfall.  My Facebook feed was full of pictures of yard sticks a foot deep in the snow.  We just got a small dusting, though, and you know what?  No complaints here!  It was plenty for the kids.  Kyan woke up saying, "now it's REALLY Christmas!" and Karis kept dragging me to the door and saying, "Wook, Mommy, SHNOW!"  Last year the kids got hats and gloves in their stockings and we didn't have any snowfall all winter.  This year I was so unprepared that they wore socks on their hands!  Mommy fail. 

 

All in all, we had a really great Christmas.  There were a few glitches in plans.  But, man, it was great to lay around on Christmas day.  It was wonderful spending a few days with Storme and Cheyenne.  And the best thing was the joy in my kids' eyes.  There's just something about Christmas morning with toys everywhere and wrapping paper all over the place that shows you just what a wonderful life it is.

 

 





We're Gonna Have the Hap-Hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny F*cking Kaye!

I should have taken it as an omen of sorts.

Monday night, Jaidan informed that he no longer cared about Jesus or Santa Claus and wanted to instead celebrate "that holiday with the eight candles." I laughed it off, told him I might see if I could make him some latkes later in the week, and for a fleeting moment wondered what it said about my parenting if my kindergartener was already seeking to change his religion. Funny enough, I remember going through a phase where I told my own parents that I was going to convert to Judaism. After all, temples sounded more "fun" than just plain old church ...

Seriously, OMEN. I should've cancelled our Tuesday plans and declared that it was going to be life as usual in our house.

You see, I decided that I was going to create a little bit of magic for my children yesterday. I was going to keep Jaidan home from school and we were going to have pictures done with Santa, eat lunch out somewhere, and maybe even grab cupcakes before heading home.  Maybe, I thought in my head, I can turn this into a tradition.  Maybe I can offer a day off school in exchange for a picture with Santa when they're 12, 13, and beyond. 

I was going to be able to come here today and write a post about new traditions and the magic of the holiday season and the fabulous day I had with my children.

Yeah, about that.

Yesterday was not magical and yesterday was not fun. Oh and about yesterday? It sucked. If I happen to dredge up this blog post next year or the next when I'm contemplating doing it again, well, here's you a little message future self: "DON'T DO IT!"

We head to Bass Pro Shop every year for Santa pictures.  I can't stress enough how much we appreciate the service they offer during the holidays.  Santa pictures are free.  Free!  Considering they run roughly $86.52 per 5x7 at the mall, well, you can't beat free.  Not only do they have free pictures, they also have arts and crafts, games set up, and toys out the kids can play with.  We've gone every year since we've been in Memphis.  It's a great time.

Overall, we had a pretty good time at BPS.  There were very few other kids there so my crew pretty much had the run of the place.



I hesitate to really say anything bad about BSP because I feel like, you know, they don't have to do everything they do.  Most places would at least charge five bucks for a picture and certainly wouldn't have games and toys spread out.  That said: their Santa this year was Lamey McLamerson with extra Lamesauce.  When Kyan told him he wanted a "Spiderman Stunt City" he asked if he wanted it on DVD or CD and when Kyan told him it was a toy he said something about not realizing they made Spiderman toys.  What the what?  He then called Jaidan "Jacob" the whole time and, well, I'll let Karis's picture do the talking on how she felt about the Big Guy.

 

 

 

Ah, yeah.

 

Three children.  Santa pictures since 2006.  First "lost their shit" picture we've had.  I was expecting it but it still broke my heart and I could feel the Judgy McJudgerson eyes of the people behind us in line. 

 

Honestly, the Bass Pro part of our day was pretty good.  The weird-o Santa aside, it was a good time.  Everyone had fun and the attitudes were in check and all that.  Later on in the day, though, after lunch, we decided to go to the mall.  I wouldn't let the boys ride on the little coin-operated kiddie rides.  Then I didn't get Jaidan a drink.  Then we ran to Target and, when the boys got in an argument, I made them put back the treat they'd picked out from the dollar bins.  I know it doesn't sound like much, but as I got them back in the car outside of Target, I was really upset.

 

My feelings were hurt.

 

I had planned a fun day.  I let J take a day off of school.  We saw Santa Claus and played with all the toys and games at Bass Pro Shop.  I took them to lunch at everybody's favorite place.  We had Frosty's from Wendy's and even a big cookie from the mall.  But all they could see were the things they didn't get to have or do.  It really kind of broke my heart.

 

You see, I honestly believe one of the worst things would be for my children to grow up feeling entitled or ungrateful.  Right now, at six, four, and two, maybe they don't really get it yet.  But just the thought of them growing up to think the world owes them something, it makes my heart hurt.  There's a saying that we aren't raising children, we're raising future adults.  It's so true, isn't it?  And, really, there aren't too many things in this world as bad as an entitled snot of an adult.

 

A couple weeks ago, Karis and I were walking out of the mall just as a family with a young boy was walking in.  The boys eyes got SO BIG and he shouted, "Wow!  It's a . . . a . . . WONDERLAND in here!'  He was walking into Sears!  And I guess, yesterday afternoon - two weeks later - I was thinking about that little boy because I was expecting a little bit of that amazement from my own kids.  Believe me, I know better than to compare my children to others.  But I was really hoping for a little bit of that wide-eyed wonderment.

 

There's really no way to tie this entry up with a pretty bow.  Yesterday wasn't anything like what I'd hoped it would be.  My kids hurt my feelings.  I worry that I'm raising children who are well on the way to being overly entitled.  And maybe, just maybe, my kid had the right idea with the whole conversion to Judaism thing!

25 Days of Christmas

I love the whole idea of the Elf on the Shelf.

I do not, however, like that elf.  He's creepy looking.  I don't want him perched on my mantle or sledding through my shaving cream or staging marshmallow fights with my daughter's Barbies.

We don't have Elf on the Shelf in my house.  We do have a $5 Grinch doll I bought at Kohl's a few years ago.  And he's sort of like a bootleg Elf on the Shelf.  He works for the same purposes and, even though he has yellow eyes, he is nowhere near as creepy looking as that damn elf.

Since Christmas of 2010, my kids and I have done "25 Days of Christmas," where we do a different Christmas-related activity every day of December.  Last year we added the element of the Grinch.  Not only does he watch the kids and report to Santa when they're being straight up a-holes, but he also brings a note every day with their "25 Days of Christmas" activity.  Works for us.

We started a little early this year
First activity: decorate the tree!



I thought I'd share a few of the "25 Days of Christmas" activities we've done in years past just in case any of you might be interested. 

1) Decorate the Christmas tree
2) Make lists for or write letters to Santa Claus
3) Clean out toys to donate -- and to make room for new ones
4) Make some sort of Christmas candy (we usually do this once a week -- we make peppermint bark, fudge, chocolate covered pretzels, cake balls, etc)
5) Elf Yourself!
6) Watch a Christmas movie (another weekly thing 'round these parts)
7) Send your kids a personalized video from Santa
8) Make gingerbread men
9) *Insert craft project here* Yeah, this is another weekly thing.  My kids love construction paper, scissors, glue, and making messes.  I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to things for them to do during the holidays.
10) Drive around to look at Christmas lights
11) Have pictures taken with Santa Claus
12) Put together a gingerbread house
13) Make reindeer food
14) Have a cookie decorating party
15) Make Polar Express hot chocolate (and, you know, maybe watch Polar Express while sipping it)
16) North Pole breakfast! (we did this one last year and it was such a huge hit)
17) Make and deliver goodies to your neighbors
18) Go see a performance of The Nutcracker or a Christmas play or even a church cantata
19) Read the biblical Christmas story
20) Read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (this is my favorite Christmas book EVER.  I tried reading it to my kids last year but they were still too young to be interested.  Crossing my fingers for this year!)
21) Make your own advent calendars (I've been using this one since my days of working at an after school program.  Love it!)
22) Make a trip to a community tree lighting or other holiday festival
23) Talk about different Christmas traditions around the world or other December holidays
24) On Christmas Eve, track Santa on NORAD.
25) Christmas jammies!  Unwrap them on Christmas Eve and cuddle up to watch Home Alone or Christmas Vacation before settling down for a long winter's nap.

Thanks.

I wanted to write not one but two posts encompassing everything I'm thankful for this year.  Because, let me tell YOU, it's been one heck of a year.  I'm blessed, lucky, fortunate, however you choose to look at it.  I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Life has happened though.  The kids and I will be spending Thanksgiving with my family in Arkansas and are leaving tonight.  (It's just the kids and I because Eddie has to work on Turkey Day.  SAD FACE).  We got back home late Saturday and I've spent the past couple days with children steady trying to crawl back in my body -- all while trying to unpack, do laundry, and get back in the swing of things because, HEY HEFFA, YOU AREN'T IN MEXICO ANYMORE (again, SAD FACE).

So there aren't two entries filled with prose-y stanzas.  Instead there is one full of cliche and lots of "DUH" moments.  But I couldn't let the season, this holiday, pass without taking a few minutes to write down all the things in my life that I'm so thankful for that I could just burst.

The other night we were eating TV dinner fettuccine alfredo for dinner.  Jaidan produced a few wooden skewers, handed a couple to his brother, and anounced that the two of them would be eating dinner with "chopsticks."  I suppose if I was a different type of mother I would've stopped them.  I mean, those things were sharp and we're talking about a six-year-old and four-year-old boy which means there was always the potential for a table-side sword fight.  But I allowed them to continue and laughed while they stabbed those noodles with the skewers and folded that memory up and put it in the little treasure chest in my mind so that I can pull it out when they're older and laugh with them about it.  I love how wonderfully weird my children are.  I love how, in their minds, a toolbox doubles as a treasure chest and how at least one of them has applied sunscreen (two hours after dark and when it was about 50 degrees outside) because he was "sweating."  I'm so thankful for my children -- for their innocence, for their weird, for the fun they bring into my life.

I'm thankful I have two boys -- and that my two boys have each other.  And I'm also thankful I have a little girl and that my daughter has a sister.  I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without the chaos that is four children under this roof.  And, oh my goodness, how thankful am I that every single one of these children is healthy?  The chaos and the noise and the "COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN FOR JUST ONE MINUTE" is a sign that these children are well and healthy and whole.  And I could just end my thankful list right there because that's so much  more than what most people have and I could not ask for more.

I'm thankful that I have a husband who will buy tampons and even come in and tell me that he selected a particular brand because of how shiny and colorful the box was.  I'm thankful that last week, on our cruise, I was only mildly annoyed with him a couple times and never once felt the urge to throw him overboard.  I'm thankful that he works hard to provide for me and for our children and I'm thankful that his job allows me to stay home with our children right now when they're so young.  I'm thankful he and I see eye-to-eye on politics, that he does his own laundry, and that several years ago I decided to give him a chance even though UGH I was SO OVER MEN.

I'm thankful that I come from a very close family.  I'm thankful that my mom is my mom and my grandma is my grandma and sometimes I'm even thankful that my brother is my brother.  *Wink*  I never got a sister but the closest thing I have to one is my cousin Storme and, man, am I thankful I get to see her this week for the first time in six months!

I have the best girlfriends ever.  Hands down.  Don't bother arguing with me.  I wish they lived closer but it's cool because at least I get to have them in my life and have them as MY friends.

My little family has been so fortunate to be able to travel a lot this year and I can't even begin to express in words how grateful I am for the experiences we've had.  I love this country and I am so thankful to have been "Born in the USA."  We may not be in our best days right now, there might be a thing or two that I wish were different about our nation, but I always have been and always will be proud to be an American.  I'm thankful to come from a country that's as diverse and colorful as it is beautiful and awe-inspring. 

I am thankful for the roof over my head and, even though the living room walls are baby poop yellow and the kitchen needs a good updating, that my children get to grow up in a pretty house in a nice neighborhood with friends who live down the street.  I appreciate that we don't have to worry about where our next meal is going to come from or how we are going to manage shoes and clothes for our family.  We are so fortunate and so blessed.  So  many people in this world don't have those little things that we tend to take for granted on a daily basis.

I could go on to list a whole bunch of other possibly trivial and definitely materialistic things.  (Coke Zero, wine, whoever decided to stuff a jalapeno pepper with cheese, bread it and deep fry it, 90's on 9, college football, my iPad, the internet -- just to name a few).  But mostly my list of thankful comes down to what most of us are most thankful for: family, health, friends, food, clothing, and shelter.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

But. But. But. What Happened to Thanksgiving?

I love Black Friday.

LOVE it.

I am a cheap bitch and I appreciate a good deal like you don't EVEN know.  I enjoy the "thrill of the hunt" when it comes to shopping and I live for the hype of Black Friday.  Hands down, one of my very favorite days of the year.  No lie.

This year, though?

I'm not happy.

At all.

Ugh.

It's called Black Friday.  That means those deals we go and push and shove and elbow and act all crazy over should happen on FRIDAY.  Last year Walmart started their sale at 10:00.  Okay.  Not great or anything but, meh, it was okay.  At least the kids were in bed and all, right?  This year they are starting at 8:00 Thanksgiving night.  8:00!  That's not okay, ya'll.

I'm so beyond irritated about this.

It's like our commercialism has moved to the point that we're infringing on the one holiday that we've been able to commercialize the least.  Thanksgiving is family and food and football with the centerpiece of the whole thing being able to enjoy the people we love the most in the world.  And now greed and consumerism is taking over that?  Um, no.  Hell no.

My mom and I have been doing Black Friday shopping for years (though last year I was in Dallas and went with a friend).  Just two or three years ago, the stores were opening at 5:00 and 6:00 in the morning.  I can remember the first year Kohl's and Penney's opened at 4:00 and people were all "bitch please."  Apparently we didn't "bitch please" enough because now we've moved the time up by eight hours and you know what?  It's just not okay.

I still plan on Black Friday shopping this year but I WON'T be there at 8:00 and I WON'T let it infringe one me enjoying the holiday with my family.

Happy Whoreth of July!

I love the Fourth of July.

I love it because it's the essence of summer all wrapped into one day: BBQ and swimming and poolside drinks and baseball and fireworks.  If you ask me right this minute, I'll tell you it's my favorite holiday.  Just don't ask me at Halloween.  Or Christmas.  Because by then there's a good chance that I MIGHT have changed my mind.

I was really excited for the Fourth this year because we were going to be in California and, since I have hoes in different area codes, we'd be able to spend the holiday with some of my favorite girls and their families.  (Yikes.  Holy run on sentence, Batman!) Instead of celebrating just the Fourth of July we were celebrating the Whoreth of July.  (You know, since we go on trips we like to tell people we're from Whore Island -- that  magical place somewhere between California and Connecticut).

Back row: Me and Dana, who is saved in my phone as "Dana My Mexican Lover" because, well, a girl can wish

Front Row: My daughter (Regina George), Mari, Michelle - her boobs heel, Kira (also known as Kyan's new girlfriend.  Though he told me the other day that he's not going to marry her because she's too old.  So he'll just settle for her daughter), and Lesley



Total sidenote here for a minute: I *thought* I left my bathing suit bottoms at a hotel in North Carolina back in June.  This really bummed me out because I have a front butt and it takes special bottoms to be able to cover that thing up.  I went to Walmart and bought a pair of bottoms that covered the front butt and managed to magnify my thunder thighs at the same time.  Awesome.  So I was ECSTATITC when my mom discovered my bottoms mixed in with her stuff.  I took the bottoms I bought at Walmart back and bought a cover up that looked sooooo cuuuuuute on the rack and notsomuch when I put it on.  It was the only cover up I had on this trip -- and I bought it on the road, without trying it on and didn't realize it was so ugly -- so if you see that thing I'm wearing in pics and you're like "what the what what?" then now you know why.

I'm still wondering why I took the time to type out that whole entire paragraph.

Anyway.  Our Whoreth of July was so fun! 

But.

Get this.  It was July.  July, okay?  Back home in Memphis, the temperatures were in the triple digits and this crazy heat wave was continuing.  The temps never got out of the 70's in southern California.  Ya'll!  THE 70'S!!!  In July!  I've never had a chilly Fourth!  We ended up spending most of our time in the hot tub.  Oh yeah.  Except for when my stepdaughter, Z, had the highlight of HER holiday and pushed me in the pool.  Well played, Z.  Well played.

Don't push my Mommy in the pool!

Speaking of things being thrown in the pool . . . my darling daughter came *thisclose* to pushing her stroller  - as in the one we desparately needed for Disney - into the pool!  Why was it at the pool?  Because she's obsessed with and insisted on taking it out to the pool and her Daddy doesn't know how to say no to her.  So it was at the pool and almost actually in the pool.

We ended the night with sparklers in the parking lot while watching various fireworks celebrations.

Since our hotel was across the street from Knott's Berry Farm, our original intention had been to watch their fireworks show.  But there were fireworks going on ALL around us.  We certainly weren't lacking a spectacular show to watch.  A great end to a great day!

Southern California Fourth Whoreth of July for the win!

Sounds of the Season

If you grew up in the south in the 80's then you know the greatest Christmas album ever was not recorded by Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole.  No.  It came from Alabama (the group; not the state.  Though it may have also come from the state.  I don't know).  It was titled Alabama Christmas and it was released by RCA in 1985.  And there's no other way to put it.  It's simply the best Christmas album of all time.  Thistlehair the Christmas Bear, Christmas in Dixie, Candle in the Window, Tennessee Christmas.  Please.  Don't try to argue with me.

Alabama is obviously top on our list of this season's soundtrack.

Here are some others that we're listening to on "repeat:"

(Warning: Youtube Overload)

Kenny & Dolly come very close to Alabama.  Very close.

Alabama and Kenny & Dolly and their Christmas albums will always remind me of my childhood.  Always.  Also Dolly's Hard Candy Christmas which was recorded for The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  A fact that I did not know until I Youtubed the video and every other one was all "from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas 1982."

My children do not appreciate Ray Stevens' Santa Claus is Watching You near as much as my brother and I did.

It's not all country, ya'll.  It's not Christmas without some Mariah.  Her entire album is every inch of amazing.  Another amazing one?  Vanessa Williams' Star Bright.  It was the only good thing - other than Save the Best for Last - she recorded.  Oh, oh, oh!  To complete the Diva Trio: Whitney Houston.  Preacher's Wife soundtrack.

And Jackson Five.  My boys LOVE Michael Jackson.  Or, you know, Mi-shell Jack Son.  Kyan likes to watch this video on Youtube and argue with me that they're all girls.  I think it's the voices.

Brenda Lee.  We love some Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree!

 Happy Christmas.  John and Yoko.

We LOVE This Christmas.  Chris Brown (look at me now) is a douchebag but I'll take his version please.

And this one, this one goes without saying.  It's a classic, ya'll!

Back to country?  Okay.  Alan Jackson's I Only Want You for Christmas.  Kenny Chesney with All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan and Angel at the Top of My Tree. Willie Nelson on Pretty Paper,  Crystal Gayle Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and even though I'm not certain it's considered a Christmas song The Oak Ridge Boys with Thank God for Kids.  I love the video when *I* was a kid because it featured Sesame Land.  Now it makes me all emotional and ooey gooey.  (Also it makes me realize that if my kids were ever in a play area and some ZZ Top looking mofo popped up and started smiling at them, I'd probably go beyond postal).

We'll also take [almost] any version of Silver Bells, I'll Be Home for Christmas, Jingle Bells, O Holy Night (my personal favorite religious Christmas song), Silent Night, Jingle Bell Rock, Rudolph.  You know -- pretty much every "classic" Christmas song EVER recorded.  And don't judge me!  But I love Nick and Jessica's Baby It's Cold Outside.  They were no Kenny and Dolly but they owned that song.

I know I'm missing some but that's the, um, short list. 

What are YOU listening to this Christmas?

Turkey and Sweet Potato Pie

I don't know about you all, but I'm so thankful Thanksgiving is over and now Christmas Vacation will be on every night for the next month!  Woo Hoo!  It really IS the most wonderful time of the year.

Since we have a hard time staying home for any holiday and since Eddie was on vacation and we could be gone for a few days rather than a few hours, we decided to visit his family in Dallas for Thanksgiving this year.  My sister-in-law hadn't originally planned on preparing turkey and all the fixings so we had a rather nontraditional Thanksgiving planned: dinner at Texas de Brazil then taking the kids to the Gaylord Texan so they could act a fool while I tried to take their pictures for our Christmas cards.  (Two serious run on sentences in a row!  Holy!) But, early in the week, Eddie's sister texted him to let us know she was planning on cooking dinner.  So we went the traditional route.

And, maaaaaaayne.  Did she EVER cook dinner!  The stuffing was so good and the mac and cheese was to die for.  She made greens which meant my husband was beyond happy.  Karis - Karis!  My one and a half year old! - ate three dinner rolls.  It was just a dang good meal.  Desert was sweet potato pie* and when I made the mistake of asking what the difference was in sweet potato and pumpkin, I was schooled in "black people food vs white people food."

** It was so strange only having two pies (and both of the same flavor!) and only one variety of potatoes on the Thanksgiving dinner table.  When my family gets together, there is usually enough pie for each person to have their own.  As in their own ENTIRE pie.  And there are also no less than 18 different potato dishes.  We know how to eat, ya'll.

So, that was Thanksgiving.  Low key.  Good food.  Cowboys won.  I ran to CVS so I could buy two snuggies for $10 in hopes that, when the boys open them on Christmas Day, Eddie and I can finally get ours back.

Later in the evening, I went to meet my friend Kira because, ya'll, we had something we had to do.  It was time for BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING.

Black Friday is my favorite day of the whole entire year.  I love the bargains.  I love to shop.  I love how people get all worked up and angry.  I love how a bitch will claw you with her talons-for-fingernails to get the very last $5 Barbie.  I love how you always have the chick wearing an ill-fitting sweatsuit, hair pulled in a scrunchie, who is telling Black Friday War Stories from years past.

I just love it.

If this tells you anything: I took three pictures of Thanksgiving dinner.  Three.  I took almost twenty when Kira and I were out harrassing people shopping.

We started out at 9:00 at Walmart.  I stood by a pallet of Cars themed race car tracks that were, apparently, a very hot item.  Because approxomately 10 seconds after a loud "WHOOOP!" (that, obvs, had nothing to do with the Texas/ Texas A&M game) went through the store, those race car tracks were GONE.  Gone.  I worked my way through the crowds (even with a cart!) and managed to get everything on my list save for a game of Operation (Sponge Bob Ants in the Pants took its place) and a damn $10 Baby Alive.

I'm still a little bitter over the Baby Alive.

After Walmart, it was Macy's.  The only REAL reason we went to Macy's was because they were in the same mall as The Disney Store.  My local Disney Store was opening at midnight; this one was not.  It would've been a slight burnt run but Macy's had sweaters at buy one get one free (I got two CUTE ones for my stepdaughter for a total of $30) and Melissa and Doug toys were also buy one get one.  Awesome.

A Jack in the Box (we don't have those in Memphis, by the way) run and we went back to Kira's house to veg until it was time to head out to Sears to scoop up some $20 peacoats.  Oh, and by "to veg" I mean "to drink margaritas."

Let's just say the second half of our trip was much more interesting.

I crashed the bed these chicks were resting on.  This was at Sears.  Roughly 4:15 am.

Kira got in a "glamourizer" fight with this guy.  Also at Sears.

Still at Sears.  I think the sales clerk's face says it all.

We are [probably] never allowed back in that particular Sears.  Ever.

We really did buy stuff at Sears.  I managed to come out with three pairs of boots, a peacoat, and a pair of jeggings. 

After Sears, it was on to the mall, to JC Penney.  More shenanigans. 

The ladies in the lingerie department were full of Razorback spirit and agreed to call the Hogs.

Good times.  Good.Times.  Ya'll.

We found a store in the mall selling accessories at a dollar a pop.  I bought several stocking stuffers for Zhariah and - be still my heart - some Big Ass Bows for Karis.  For $1! 

After we left the mall, it was time for an [extremely tired] run to Target.  It was 7:00 in the morning.  They had been open for seven hours.  And I STILL managed to get everything on my list.  (A $12 Cabbage Patch -- my girl is getting her first ever Cabbage Patch!  I think I'm more excited about this than anything else the kids are getting!, some jammie and slipper sets, undies, and scarves and gloves).  Score!

In the end, I finished up about 85% of my Christmas shopping -- the boys are completely finished with the exception of their big gifts (and the hubs is in charge of getting those).  Zhariah and Karis each need three more of their smaller gifts.  All stocking stuffers are purchased.  And I came in about $200 under my husband-induced Black Friday budget.  I'm, like, a serious shopping ninja. 

---  BTW: I wrote most of this last night.  I woke up this morning to find out we are under a winter weather advisory.  In November!  In Memphis!  There's a 70% chance of rain and snow this afternoon.  Which seems like perfect weather to put away my fall decor and pull out the Christmas tree.  Also, to start packing my bathing suits and flip flops and FLY SOUTH for the winter.  Snow in November makes me think that February is going to be miserable!

Thanks for the Blessings

I realize it's super cliche to make a list of all the things I'm thankful for today.  I also realize it would be super cliche to list things like my husband and children, my extended family, our home, our health, my husband's job and the fact that he's a man who is not afraid of a little hard work, clothes on our backs, and food on the table.  I'm thankful for all of that -- those are truly the biggest blessings in my life.  But I'm thankful for so much more as well.

I'm thankful for the sound of a baby's laughter and the way Kyan tells his sister, "you're my best girl."  I'm thankful for children who sleep through the night and that 2/3 of my little ones are potty trained.  I'm thankful for social media that allows me to keep in touch with friends and family who live far away.  I'm thankful for boys who love their Mama and are still little enough to ask, "Can't Daddy just sleep in my bed so I can sleep in your bed with you?"  I'm thankful for Coke Zero and Diet Dr. Pepper.

I'm thankful for third row vehicles that aren't mini vans.  I'm thankful for the city of New Orleans, all the wonderful food it contains, and that I'll be there in two and a half months.  I'm thankful I was raised in a way so that I'm still close to my cousins even as we've gotten older.  I'm thankful the Razorbacks are having a good season.

I'm thankful for Goodnight Moon and I'll Love You Forever.  I'm thankful for my creativity and for TexMex food and for Disney Pixar.  I'm thankful for the relationship I have with my stepdaughter, a relationship that is right now better than it's ever been before, and I'm thankful for how much she absolutely loves and adores her baby sister (and her little brothers too -- though sometimes that love and adoration doesn't show through as much!)

I'm thankful that my blog does not generate any income so I am, therefore, not faced with the decision of just how moral it is to pimp out my family for clicks. I'm thankful I was born in raised in the south, even if we don't have basements.  I'm thankful to live in a country that affords us basic rights and I'm thankful for people like my husband who fought to preserve those rights.

I'm thankful for this picture from last Thanksgiving:

And I'm thankful for the memories of that day, for the last Thanksgiving we spent with our PawPaw.  I'm thankful we had him for as long as we did and that our faith allows us to know he's in a better place.

And most of all I am thankful for these four goofy little people.  Thankful they are in my life, that I can kiss them and hug them every single day, thankful that they're mine and that they make me want to be a better person.

The First Thanksgiving

As told by a five-year-old and illustrated (in part) by his three-year-old brother.

The First Thanksgiving:

The pilgrims came to the New World on a Mayflower.

They came to eat food.

The pilgrims talked to a turkey and then they ate the turkey.

They ate turkey with the Indians.

Another word for Indians is Native of Americans.

They also ate corn and made farms.

Notes from Mom:

1) I swear I told him they came to the New World for religious freedom.  It figures that it would be my kid who goes straight to the "food" part of the holiday.

2) I wasn't sure how politically correct to be with this story.  Therefore we used the terms Indian and Native American.  Are Native Americans offended by the term "Indian?"  I'm asking with sincerity. 

3) Political correctness aside, I obviously gave the watered down preK version of the story with no, you know, slaughter and all that business.  Let's let the history teachers handle that in fifth or sixth grade, uhkay now?

4) Who wants to come and scrub my chair rail?

An Evening with Spiderman, Iron Man, Mickey Mouse, and a Fairy



Iron Man was not feeling the whole picture taking thing!

 Halloween is 90% of the reason I had children (the other 10% is because some day I'll need someone to either take me in and take care of me or select a nursing home.  I'd rather leave that to my own children than some wayward great nephew who is pissed because my life savings amounts to $10,000 less than what my care and eventual burial will cost).  I love Halloween!  It was always my favorite day of the year when I worked an after school program.  (On the other hand, the day after Halloween was the absolute worst, suckiest day of the year.  My condolences to anyone who works with children today).

I try to make Halloween as fun as possible.  Here's a little peek into what Halloween was like at our house:

We started off with a breakfast of what was supposed to be ghost pancakes.  Please hold the jokes when you look at them.  Kthanks.

Parenting tip: Adding chocolate chips to anything negates the fact that it looks NOTHING LIKE what you wanted it to look like.

I thought it would be fun to do a few Halloween themed games.  So, after we watched the Halloween episode of Yo Gabba Gabba for the 80 MILLIONTH TIME we got to the game playing!  I figured this would make me Mom of the Year -- you know?  The kids would have so much fun that they'd be nominating me for makeovers and trips to NYC and all that stuff.

Yeah, no.

Jaidan had a blast.

Karis was too young to really do anything.

And Kyan was just being a turd.

We started things off my decorating our pumpkins we picked up a couple weeks ago.  Confession: we do not carve jack-o-lanterns.  I've never in my life carved a pumpkin.  Eddie has expressed little interest.  And plus it just seems messy and gross and a good way to end up with a mangled finger.  So, instead, I give the kids stickers (last year it was paint) and let them do the punkin' decoratin'.

Then we used (plastic) pumpkins to bowl for (plastic bottles turned) ghosts.

My floor did not look that dirty yesterday when I was standing there with the camera.  I swear it!

Bowling over.  Let's make some mummies!

There are two things my kids love:  scavenger hunts and "find the *whatever* Mommy hid in the living room."  So we did a spooky scavenger hunt and followed it up with a game of "Find the Black Cat."

Finally, finally - time for my personal favorite game.  Pin the Wart on the Witch!

You give the kids a piece of gum (a very, very rare treat for my kids.  I don't outlaw many things but gum is practically a never ever in this house).  They chew it up.  You blindfold, spin 'em around, and then they pin the wart on the witch.  We repurposed our Halloween countdown witch for this little activity.

Again with the dirty floor - Sheesh!

We had a supah scary spooky lunch:

That's spiders, witch's broom sticks, monster mouths, ghosts and ghost poop, and one eyed cookies
Most thanks to Pinterest

Since I'm a big fan of theme food, we also had a Halloween dinner -- the same thing we've had for dinner for Halloween for a few years now.  The infamous mummy dogs:

The adults had the same thing they've had for Halloween as far back as I can remember: chicken taco soup.

Then.  Then.  It was time to get ready to trick or treat!

We had Spiderman:



A fairy:

Iron Man:

 And Mickey Mouse:

She was originally supposed to be a (mostly homemade) pirate.  But when her Daddy saw this Mickey Mouse costume, he thought she HAD to have it.

The trick or treating brought in a decent enough haul.  Karis didn't want anyone else to touch her bucket and she kept transferring her candy to Kyan's bucket while they rode in the stroller together.  Kyan told people what kind of candy to give him "the lello one!  I want the lello one!," told everyone at each house what the house before had given him, instructed at least one person to give him more, and made sure to say thank you at every house we went into.  Apparently the Manners Discussions are going to have to be upped a little bit.  Jaidan and Zhariah are five and eleven -- therefore old enough to mind their manners and not do anything overly cute.

Neither Kyan or Karis napped yesterday so after about an hour of scouring the neighborhood they were both just done.  Kyan quit going up to houses and, when I wheeled him up to one, told the guy "no thanks" when candy was offered.

If that pic doesn't say "DONE" I don't know what does!



We made it home and they each had one piece of candy (Milky Way, Skittles, and Reeses).  I convinced Kyan that Sweet Tarts, Nerds, and Bottle Caps are all nasty so he gladly handed them over.  I inspected candy and threw away anything that was open or was, you know, bubble gum.  We made it this whole Halloween with only getting one or two of those nasty Mary Jane things.  This morning, the kids are going to go through their candy.  They each get to pick out five things they want for them.  Then everything goes into the treat bucket to be handed out whenever they deserve a treat.  Or whenever Mama wants to snack on a Twix!

Dibs on the Twix Bars!

Last night we took the kids to a "trunk or treat" at a church here in town.

I'm not just the Biggest Fan Ever of trunk-or-treats but they had fun and got a jump start on the candy stash that I'll be hoarding until chocolate covered cherries are 50% off the day after Christmas.

When I was a kid, Halloween happened on Halloween.  No one had ever heard of trunk-or-treating.  You got dressed in a (mostly) homemade costume, went to MawMaw's house where you posed for pictures, then to Granny's house to pose for more pictures, then to Aunt Fay's house for homemade popcorn balls.  Then, of course, you'd hit up a few more spots until your bag was so full of candy it was about to fall apart.  You went home and Mom and Dad inspected them for bad stuff like razor blades and evidence of poisoning -- something that, for some reason, the Snickers bars and Reeses never survived.

My brother and I in one of those pictures taken at Granny's house
I was a baby (an old standby costume) and likely too old to be trick-or-treating; he was Peter Pan

These days, trick or treating has been replaced with people decorating their trunks and handing out candy in church parking lots.  And, while I certainly understand the safety concern (at least to a point) it still makes me kinda sad.  Tonight, I'll take the kids out trick or treating.  In our neighborhood, only every six house or so will have a light on.  Only every six house or so will be handing out candy and ooh'ing and ahh'ing at trick or treaters.  Only every six house or so.  Which means the odds of getting the good stuff (full sized candy bars) is even lower.

No one will be handing out homemade popcorn balls.  And, even if they were, we wouldn't let our kids eat them anyway.

By the time my kids are grown and their own children are ready to celebrate Halloween there probably won't be any trick or treating left at all anymore!